Redblaze's Regret {COMPLETE}

Chapter 30

 The first snow came with little warning, draping the forest in a thick, wet layer of white. Under the sunlight, it was blinding. With it came bitter cold and the fear of sickness, and just as soon as Redblaze was back on his paws, he was facing the threats of leaf-bare. He'd spent two days and nights doing nothing but remaining in camp, and while part of him felt guilty for not contributing to RiverClan, he felt very refreshed and alive. He was thankful that he hadn't been lonely during that time, as Sorrelstream and Mudpelt both spent time talking to him when they could. For a while one day he had watched in amusement as the kits played in the camp, purring as he witnessed their clumsy antics. Ashflower had met his gaze while he did so, and for the first time her eyes held warmth, no contempt, and he didn't shy away from it. It seemed as if the frosty air of the new season carried change, and for once Redblaze found himself wanting to embrace it.

Redblaze trudged through soft snow on his way back to camp on the dawn patrol. The sun hadn't been up for very long, and he knew he'd have to get used to precious little sunlight during the day. He'd managed to catch a cold, startled mouse not far from camp, and already felt productive about his morning. As the patrol entered the camp, Bristlepelt and Sweetstripe parted ways and Redblaze headed for the fresh-kill pile to deposit his mouse. He found Specklepaw, Beechpaw, and Reedpaw picking through the prey before they headed out for training. The three apprentices seemed amused by the clouds of fog that emerged from their mouths with every breath. Redblaze purred as he watched them, remembering when he, too, was an excitable apprentice just like them, impressed by even the smallest wonders of forest life.

Redblaze dropped his catch on the pile and turned away from it, wondering what to do next. It was then that he heard the tiniest sneeze, more of a squeak, coming from the nursery. Within moments Twigtail burst from the sheltered den, ears flat and tail bushed out. "Nightwhisper!" he called urgently, sounding angry.

The black medicine cat hurried from his own den, concern in his eyes, as the few cats in camp were drawn to the sudden commotion. "What's wrong, Twigtail?" Nightwhisper asked quickly.

"My son is sick!" he growled, stepping close to Nightwhisper. Redblaze's eyes widened in shock. "It's too cold in the nursery! There's a draft or something, and he got sick!"

Ashflower had followed the brown tom out of the nursery, looking somewhat annoyed, and padded up behind him. "It's just a little sneeze," she meowed reassuringly. "I agree that there might be some cold air getting in, but it's nothing serious, Twigtail." Her tone had turned cautious, as Twigtail still had not relaxed.

He turned to face Ashflower. "Nothing serious?" he hissed. "Falconkit is young! A sneeze could turn into greencough! I'll not watch my other kit die because some careless cats didn't fortify the nursery walls enough!"

"Twigtail!" Ashstar's voice called from beside the leader's den. He was approaching the scene, gray and white striped tail swishing behind him a whisker above the snow. "Calm down, please." Twigtail opened his mouth to retort, but Ashstar cut him off. "I'm sure Falconkit will be okay. I'll have some warriors fix the nursery walls, and Nightwhisper will give him some herbs and fresh-kill to warm him up. It won't do any good to get angry with your Clanmates over this. I hope a senior warrior like yourself would understand that."

The entire time Ashstar spoke, his voice was calm and even, and Redblaze still couldn't believe Twigtail's outburst. Then again, he thought to himself, Falconkit is the only kit he's got. He's probably scared to lose him, too. Redblaze supposed that Twigtail's concern was reasonable, even if his reaction wasn't.

The big brown cat's shoulders relaxed, and his expression softened a little. He turned his head slightly to see his Clanmates looking onward, and sighed. "Sorry, Ashstar," he mumbled. "I just..." Barely audible, he whispered, "I can't lose him, too."

Ashstar rested his tail on Twigtail's shoulder. "You won't," he murmured. He turned to Nightwhisper and meowed, "Please see to Falconkit and get him any herbs he needs." With a nod, Nightwhisper bounded off.

Ashstar turned to the small crowd of cats. The hunting patrol still hadn't returned, and the apprentices and their mentors had gone to training, so there were just a few cats in camp. After scanning the faces before him, Ashstar said, "Cherryheart, Sweetstripe, and Redblaze; you can work on the nursery. Make sure no air can get inside."

Redblaze nodded and joined the two she-cats for work. Behind the nursery was a sizable area filled with plenty of reeds and ferns, and after picking enough they set about weaving them into the walls of the nursery, filling every possible gap and making them thicker and stronger. As Redblaze's paws pushed and prodded the outside of the nursery, he could hear the commotion of the kits playing inside, and Nettlestep's purr as she nursed Falconkit. Ashflower was shushing her kits, scolding them for being so rowdy. "For StarClan's sake, you three are a pawful!" came Ashflower's muffled voice. "You need to leave Falconkit alone so he can rest and get strong!" The silence that followed told Redblaze that the three kits had left the nursery, and soon enough he heard their squeaking laughter filling the camp as they rolled through the snow. He kept working diligently, growing tired and hungry, and was suddenly aware of a presence near him.

Before he could turn his head to look, a small furry body pressed into his. "Can I help?" Amberkit asked, tail swishing in excitement. She reared up on her hind legs and pressed her forepaws into the ferns and reeds, mimicking Redblaze, and he bit back a purr of amusement. Her amber eyes gleamed with wonder and excitement, and she copied every move he made as he wove one last fern into the wall.

"Sorry," he told the little kit. "But I'm all done now." As Amberkit's face fell, he added quickly, "How about this? You go inside and press your ear to the wall all the way around the den. If you hear any air getting in, let me know."

Amberkit was immediately gone, and Redblaze heard her scuffling around the den, pausing every few moments. After a while, she called loudly, "I don't hear anything!"

"Amberkit, hush!" Ashflower scolded.

Amberkit bounced back out of the nursery, purring, her mother at her heels. "What next?" she asked, looking intently at Redblaze. Ashflower cocked her head.

Redblaze was taken aback, once again marveling at Amberkit's enthusiasm. "Well, the nursery is done," he said. "There's really nothing else to do, not for a kit, anyway." He peered around the camp, wondering what there could possibly be to occupy Amberkit's time, at least to give Falconkit some peace. Clearly she didn't want to play with her littermates, who were running in circles around Ashstar's den. His gaze settled on the elders' den. "Well," he began, and Amberkit pricked her ears. "The apprentices are still out, and I'm sure Troutleap and Blacktail would welcome some fresh-kill. Why don't you take them some? They might even tell you a story while you're there."

"Really?" Amberkit squeaked. "Okay!" She dashed off, her little paws sinking into the snow, towards the fresh-kill pile. Redblaze couldn't hold in his purr this time.

"You know, she really admires you," Ashflower said softly as she watched her kit. She turned to look at Redblaze, purring. Then she said, "Thank you."

Redblaze paused, then simply nodded his head to the queen as she turned back around and disappeared once more into the nursery.