𝐈𝐌 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐀 𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐓

𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐀 𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐓-𝟏𝟐

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Davina Sinclair
When I woke up, I was back in my room. Which was odd because I had no memory of what had happened before I passed out.

I got out of bed and as I was about to open the door, Kylo stepped in closing the door behind him. I stepped back as he stepped forward, not because I was afraid of him but because I had no idea what would happen if we were to get closer.

"I'm not going to bite Principessa," he said with a smirk taking another step forward. "You gave us quite a fright when you passed out," he said now 3 feet away from me.

"What happened?" I said genuinely confused as to why I passed out. He looked as confused as I felt. But he then pulled his stone-cold features back together with his stone-cold voice and said "Oh Principessa you don't remember a thing do you" his voice sounded as if he was happy, but what about?

"Know what," I said with anger rising in me. "Your father is dead Princessa, the people who tried to hurt you were behind it," he said now seriously.

I froze unable to move or speak. I was never really a fan of my dad but that didn't mean I wanted him dead. We had never been close and at times he could be cold but I knew deep down he had some love for me and I for him.

It was bad enough losing my mom and witnessing her death. Now I'd lost my dad as well. Kylo looks at me with a hint of sadness in his eyes. It was something new I hadn't witnessed with Kylo and as much as I wanted to feel sad or be sad, I couldn't.

At this point, I had lost all feelings toward the man in front of me. I knew that if I let myself feel for anyone again I would just get hurt. And I knew if I fell for Kylo as much as I already had I would be on the brink of ruin.

From now on our relationship will be strictly about our marriage followed by our alliance to keep our mafias safe. And now that my dad was gone it was my job to keep our legacy going.

But I knew that if I was going to be this new version of myself I would have to learn how to survive without the help of others which included Kylo. Even though it hadn't been long since we met I felt this sense of secureness toward him that made me feel more safe than I'd ever been even if most of our interactions led to us arguing there was no doubt Kylo would protect me no matter what.

But I didn't want his protection because if I took more than I could give I wouldn't feel right. All he's done since I met him was save me from all the trouble that I've caused and I hadn't thanked him for it once. And the more I let myself get close to him the more he'd get hurt and.. The more I'd get hurt by hurting him.

I felt Kylo come closer to me and pull my still-frozen body into a hug. It was weird and new to feel and see this new side of Kylo and I didn't know if I liked it or hated how much he cared at that moment but what I did know was that I didn't need nor want his pity.

I pushed him away and put my hand up to stop him from saying or going any further than he already had. " I don't need your pity," I said trying to hold back tears of the anger and sadness I had been feeling and holding back for quite some time. "Just stop and go back to being the old Ruthless mafia man that kills people and who doesn't give a damn whose feelings get hurt in the process, you know the one who ignored my existence since I got here," I said.

Which wasn't all a lie, he wasn't a ruthless mafia man who just killed people. He did those things to protect the people he loved even if that meant killing and hurting people in the process. I pulled myself back from him emotionally and physically. I couldn't keep hurting myself by falling in love with him when I knew my feelings would never get reciprocated.

He didn't say a word but I saw how much his expression changed from sympathy to hatred. He didn't even look at me as he walked out the door slamming it behind him. And as much as it hurt to see him go I knew that It was for the best, no matter how much I tried to convince myself it wasn't.

I stood there conflicted and angry by everything that had happened these past few months. It didn't take long for me to pull myself together, When I did Faith walked in.

She didn't say anything just pulled me into a hug knowing that was exactly what I needed. "I was so worried about you, how are you, how are you feeling?" she said pulling back to get a good look at my face, which was surprisingly stoic. Faith could be an overbearing mother at times but I loved her for it.

She looked at me taken aback by my change in personality. "I'm fine," I said which was supposed to reassure her but in the end made her worry even more. "Seriously why aren't you bawling your eyes out right now, not that you need to I mean nothing wrong with a good cry considering the situation with your dad and all and you know that I'm here for you whenever we all are, I just find it odd that you're not crying about the news but again totally ok not to," she said rambling.

"I'm fine faith really, I just want to be more self-reliant and not rely on you or anyone else for help, is that such a bad thing," I said getting defensive.

Faith immediately puts her hands up trying to diffuse the situation. "No, no I think it brave of you to start doing things more on your own and I totally support you with it but Vina it's not a bad thing to lean on others for support you don't have to be strong all the time we just want you to be happy"

I grunt in frustration "That's the thing faith you don't get it I have to be strong I have no one everyone I love either dies or leaves and I can't take it or fake it I have to be strong because if I'm not who will"

"And it's not that I'm not sad about my father I just think that it's pointless to cry over it, faith I just want you to understand that I'm done wasting my time crying I'll avenge my mother and my father's death and I won't be that girl who everyone thinks is helpless and that can't do a thing on her own"

Faith's eyes are saddened but are also filled with pride as she listens. "I won't have people fighting my battles for me and I won't be considered a saint instead I'll be their worst nightmare and they'll wish they didn't mess with Davina Sinclair".
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Word Count: 1286 words
A/N Hey guys sorry you haven't heard from me but I'm back I also wanted to let you know that I'll try to update more