Obx boys | Imagines ☆

Panic attack | JJ

Its officially been 49 days since John B and Sarah died in the storm. Some days are harder than others, but were all trying. John B was my twin brother. Its been really hard not having him by my side for the past few weeks. He was my soul, and lately it feels like apart of me died with him. But as hard as its been, JJ hasnt left my side and i love him for it. he's always there for me when i need to cry in his shoulder, and hes stayed at the chateau every night because he's scared to leave me alone.

About two weeks after JB passed,  i started getting panic attacks. i get them around 3-4 times a week, but lately i've been getting extreme ones. JJ is the only person that knows how to calm me down, so hes been extra glued to me.

----------------------------------------------------

today is the first day of school. i was dreading going, but pope forced us all to go.  i must have snoozed my alarm about a million times because i was woken up by pope yelling at me and JJ.

"y/n, JJ get the hell up now" he said while shaking me.

"jesus christ Pope. what time is it?" I asked

" its 8:30. i school starts in 15 min." he replied

" oh shit" i said

i quickly tried to get out of bed but i felt warm hands pull me back in.  "Nooooo dont leave me" JJ said before attacking me with kisses. "J we gotta get up and get ready" i said giggling.

"school can wait another half hour" he mumbled with his head on my chest. "i wish! but pope will literally kill me if were late" i said with a sad face

"well in that case, we better get going cus i need my princess alive" he said while jumping out of bed.

----------------------------------------------------

i threw on a sage color halter top, black shorts and my converse. i brushed my hair, teeth,  did my makeup and then i met everyone in the twinkie.

when we parked in the school parking lot, i started fiddling with my rings because my anxiety was spiking. i wasnt ready to be here without JB. JJ put his hand on my hand and started rubbing it with his thumb in effort to comfort me. i rested my hand on his and let out a shaky breath. " lets get this over with, shall we?" i said.

"of course, baby girl" he replied.

we got out of the twinkie and started walking towards the school. tears formed in my eye when i saw a memorial that was infront of the doors for John B. but JJ wiped them away and held my hand tight while we walked inside.

when we walked in everyone was staring at us. and i mean everyone.

"Uh guys... is it just me or is everyone looking?" kie asked

"yep, everyone is defiantly looking." JJ confirmed

i started taking deep breaths because it was already too much.

eventually pope and kie split up and JJ walked me to my locker, but everyones eyes then started lingering on me.

when we got to my locker it was covered in cards and apology letters cus of JB's death. at that point i could't take it. i felt the shaky feeling and the bile rising. I quickly let go of JJ's hand and ran to the washroom.  I could hear JJ running behind me, but i dont stop.

i ran into a stall and locked myself in. i threw up more than i could handle. i knew a panic attack was coming. i slowly sat on the ground and tried the sight game JJ taught me but it wasnt working.

everything around me went black and my hearing was getting muffled. i was shaking like crazy and i couldn't breathe properly. i was breathing too fast and i couldn't catch a solid breath.

i heard JJ call my name but i couldn't answer.

once he realized what was going on he went in the next stall and did some sort of jump and he ended up in the stall i was in. he dropped to the ground in front of me and tucked my hair behind my ears.

"hey, hey look at me okay?" he said to me while rubbing my cheek.

" J i-i cant br-breathe." i managed to get out.

he took my hand and put it on his chest, "breathe with me okay?" he whispered

"jj i-i can't." i cried

"baby. i need you to breathe with me. in, and out. in, and out." he kept repeating to me
—————————————
about ten minuites later my breathing slowed down and i was leaning against jj's chest listening to his heartbeat.

"wanna get out of here?" he whispered

i wasnt ready to talk yet so i just nodded against his chest.

————————————————-
a few hours later, we were at the chateau. jj managed to help me clean up and change into comfier clothes.

after that we were laying in my bed. my head was on his chest and he was rubbing my head.

"hey baby? do you wanna talk about what happened?" he said quietly

"i'm sorry jj. it was just too much being at school without JB there and i-it was too much with everyone starting. i'm really sorry. i didn't mean to ruin your day like that." i whispered as tears built up in my eyes.

"baby girl." he said as he sat up to look at me.  "please don't you ever apologize like that okay? you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. you did not ruin my day. as long as i'm with you, i'm happy as hell." he finished.

"are you sure?" i mumbled

"yes princess" he confirmed

"i love you j." i whispered while looking up at him.

"i love you y/n. and nothing will ever change that." he said as he placed a kiss on my head.

"also, we need to go to the pharmacy to get you a prescription for anxiety meds. you deserve to get this under control." he whispered

"okay" i replied.

we later fell asleep watching my favourite movie. i love that boy more than words can possibly describe.