pretty blonde

"i fuck everything up."

i sat down on my bed and put in my airpods and listened to a playlist me and billy had made together the first song playing being 'my kind of woman' by mac demarco. it was billy's favorite song. i realized i had gotten myself suspended and my parents were coming home today. steve was probably gonna tell them too and i was gonna end up back in fucking therapy, rehab even. i felt a tear fall and saw it land on my skirt. i always manage a way to fuck everything up.

"chloe?" i heard steve's voice from outside my door. "it's open." i mumbled loud enough for him to hear. "mom and dad are downstairs. said they wanted to talk to you about something.." he said. fuck. i thought to myself. "tell them i'll be right there." i said. he nodded and walked out. i had to change because i knew if they saw what i was wearing i would be dead in a fucking heart beat. i threw on some shorts and a hoodie and walked downstairs.

"chloe, we need to talk." my dad said looking me in the eyes. fuckfuckfuck. "someone told me there was a fight at school and you were involved in it?" my dad said. i looked down. "answer me chloe." my dad said sternly, which honestly scared me. "yes sir. i didn't start the fight. i just finished it." i said, my lip quivering. i was genuinely scared as to what was gonna happen. "honey nobody's mad at you, we just need to know who it was that hurt you." my mother said, rubbing my shoulder. "tommy hagan." steve said. "who?" my father asked. now keep in mind, my parents didn't know about me being raped. i wasn't sure they would care so i just never told them. "tommy hagan. my.." i stopped myself as i burst into tears. my mother looked concerned and my father was fuming. "dad can i talk to you alone?" steve asked and pulled my father aside. my mother wrapped me in her arms, trying her best to calm me down. i hadn't had a panic attack in a few months so it all came rushing back.

"that fucking bastard." i heard my dad say as he stormed into the kitchen again and grabbing his keys. "where are you going?!" my mother yelled out at him. "to kill the fucking boy that raped our daughter." he said. steve was following right behind him. he stopped and whispered in my ear, "billy's on his way, he's bringing you some ice cream and a movie." i nodded and smiled at steve as him and my father drove off. "baby, why didn't you ever tell us..?" my mother asked, tears falling from her eyes. "y-you guys were never home, i didn't even know if you guys would e-even care.." i said, still sobbing. "oh honey..." she said wrapping me in her arms tighter. "of course we would've cared! if you would've told us that the second it happened we would've flown back in and he would be in prison. and i'm so so sorry for thinking that rehab would've helped you, i should've just asked you instead of putting you in it." she said, still crying. then there was a knock on the door.

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