our last summer. (e.m)

seven: it's raining opportunities.

the down pour has put a damper on my plans today. what plans?
i'm not even sure,
but i know eddie and i would have come up with something great.
it's his speciality to be spontaneous.
i'm proven right when my phone rings and eddie's voice is on the other end,
just hours later from our conversation last night.
"can i come over?"
"of course! my dad would love to-"
"no, i just meant me and you."
i sit back on the bed and whisper,
"like...sneak in?"
he hears my disbelief and laughs at it.
"it's not the taboo you think it is, y/n. it's raining and you have my jacket."
i take it from its resting spot in the empty space beside where i sleep and i clutch it against my chest.
"what if i'm not ready to give it back?"
"then you can have it forever. so long as you let me sneak in on rainy days."
i laugh softly into the phone then wrap the wire around my finger while i say,
"fine. the windows open for you. but don't you dare bring mud into my room."
"me? nah, i wouldn't dream of it. see you soon,
green girl."
the many nicknames he keeps stored away in my honor never fails to make me laugh,
including now.
i make him promise that he'll be safe on his travel here then we say goodbye.
i anxiously wait for him.
i pick up stray clothes i've thrown to the ground,
i try to tidy up my comforter,
i run around all in a panic for eddie's arrival.
this is no longer the room in which we sat together to play our own version of chess,
where there really were no rules.
this is not the room in which he was the captive boy and i was the savior,
or where we played pirates together.
all of that is stored away in the attic with the rest of our childhood.
"clover girl? can i come in?"
my father.
my heart drops and i pray that god doesn't out me for what i'm doing.
"yes,"
i say in a voice that doesn't sound like mine.
relax.
you look guilty.
i remind myself.
my father steps in the room and gives me a gentle smile.
"bad weather, huh?"
"yeah. it's storming pretty bad."
he nods in agreement then scans my room as though he'll find courage in the corner of my walls.
"so, uh...i figured since there's not much to do today, that you and i could watch something? we can watch your favorite, aristocats."
i scratch the back of my neck and allow myself a moment to think back.
when it rained like it is now,
so heavy and overbearing that you couldn't leave the house,
my parents and i would bundle up on the couch in the thickest of blankets that my father brought from home,
popcorn in our laps and cocoa straight from the stove.
i was always squished in the middle so that i could link my arms in with my parents and sing with the movie.
we watched it so often,
my father would get the songs stuck in his head on random occasions.
he always called me his own roquefort,
since i would laugh so hard at that mouse and his cookie eating.
i don't know when we stopped doing that as a family.
maybe that was one of the many things i overlooked.
i come back to reality,
where the rain pours outside and there's only my father and i here to celebrate it.
i give him a smile and say,
"can we do it later? i'm just...i've got some stuff to unpack."
my father nods his head and says without any disappointment,
"yeah, yeah. of course...whenever you're ready."
he gives me a close lipped smile then closes the door behind him.
i almost want to follow him like i used to do as a kid and sit beside him on that wide couch,
but the sequence of knocks at the window stops me.
i hurry to open it where eddie munson lies in wait for my answering.
"how'd you manage to stay dry?"
i ask him quietly with a smile on my lips.
i lay a towel on the ground for him to step on so that his shoes don't transfer any mud inside.
before he steps any further into my room,
he unties them and leaves them on the towel.
"there's this wonderful thing called umbrellas, have you heard?"
he says sarcastically as he takes a look around my room.
"no you'll have to tell me more. nice socks, by the way."
eddie looks down at his feet where white socks trail up past his ankle,
decorated in black stripes at the top.
"yeah? i got a matching pair if you want 'em."
i laugh with the shake my head.
eddie surveys my room then turns back to me with eyebrows drawn up.
"this is the same room?"
"yep. where eddie the banished once reigned."
eddie laughs at the reminder and sits beside me.
"and clover-over, the greatest queen who ever ruled."
"we made quite the duo, didn't we?"
he nudges my shoulder with his own and nods.
"the best duo that kingdom ever saw."
then he falls backwards onto my bed,
where his hair sprawls out around him and leaves me in open-eyed admiration.
"so, your dad did the room up?"
i carefully lay beside him so that we're close,
but not enough for our skin to brush and make my heart race.
"yeah, he did."
"have you unpacked?"
i shrug.
"barely."
eddie sits up on his side and rests his head in the palm of his hand to look down at me.
having him here in my room feels sentimental;
it makes me bright with elation.
"want some help?"
"i got all the comfort i need,"
i say as i hook two fingers around his jacket and showcase it around.
he laughs and tries to snatch it from my grasp,
but fails to do so.
i half suspect he made a weak attempt at retrieving it,
but i revel in the win nonetheless.
i stand to put the jacket back on as eddie watches from my bed.
i show it off it by spinning around and posing.
eddie falls into a pile of laughter that has to be muffled into his hands so that our secret isn't spilled.
"don't i look so cool?"
"oh, yeah. the coolest,"
he says while shaking his head at my antics.
i pretend the praising look in his eyes doesn't make me shy.
i could melt under his stare if i was given the choice.
i sit back beside him now and catch a glimpse of his hand out of the corner of my eye.
i turn back to see it swollen and purple with a cut across his knuckles.
"eddie,"
i gasp as i carefully bring it into my grasp.
"why didn't you take care of this?"
he looks down at it and shrugs.
"it looks badass."
i shake my head to signal my disappointment,
but it's betrayed by the smile on my face.
i feel his thumb begin to slowly caress the soft skin of my wrist as i keep his hand in mine.
"come here,"
i say as i get up and try to drag him along.
eddie groans in protest but follows me anyways.
we make way to the small bathroom that's connected to my room and i have him perch on the sink.
"i'm okay,"
he says as i begin pulling out supplies from beneath the sink.
"great. then you'll be even more okay."
eddie rolls his eyes playfully but doesn't make any objection to me dressing his wound.
then when i'm finished,
i give eddie's hand a gentle tap and say,
"all done. what a brave boy."
"the bravest,"
he says with a smile.
we linger there for a moment more,
his hand on top of mine,
looking nowhere but at each other.
eddie leans back against the mirror and exhales words in a breath so light,
i nearly miss it,
"god...you're beautiful."
i lean forward some,
like my body is responding to his words of praise,
and i wonder what it might be like to feel his lips on mine.
i imagine it would be like an angels kiss;
gentle and sweet,
delivering serenity.
"i'm so glad you're home."
the word shocks me to my core.
does he mean home in hawkins or home is here...with him?
and does it hurt him to know i'll be gone by the seasons end?
the same way it sends a tremor down my body,
emitting from my pierced heart?
i bring eddie in for a hug and bury myself in the crook of his neck.
i breathe him in and will time to stand still.
anything to be here for just a moment longer.
"eddie?"
"yeah, clove?"
before i can utter the words that come from an enamored tongue,
my father calls my name and panic ensues.
eddie pulls back and gives me a mischievous smile,
but i can see the worry in his eyes.
"stay in here."
"oh, y/n,"
eddie says,
clicking his tongue.
"how scandalous."
i mock his laughter then close the door behind me the very second my father slips in my room.
"sorry i keep bothering you,"
he says with an awkward chuckle.
i try to move eddie's shoes away and under my bed before my father sees them.
"no, you're not bothering me. i'm just...just cleaning, you know?"
i say with the same nervous laughter.
"somebody's at the door for you."
my hands stop nervously moving by my side and become curious with who sits at our front door.
i follow my father out and see reed being shielded from the rain,
wearing that same letterman jacket that those tormentors wore yesterday.
"reed,"
i greet with a smile.
"how'd you get here?"
"my mom knows your dad from the university. she told me i could find you here."
i give a shy laugh then nod my head.
i realize i'm still wearing eddie's jacket so i hurry to ask,
"okay...what's up?"
"friday night, you and i. let's do something."
i lean against the front door and look down at my feet with a smile.
"you came all the way in the rain to ask me that? you could have called."
"i could have, but you deserve this. it's the least i could do."
i take a look up the stairs where i know eddie munson remains,
then turn back to reed.
"i'll let you know."
"i'll wait on your call, y/n. don't leave me hanging!"
reed calls as he begins walking away,
that charming smile painted on his lips.
i wave goodbye then close the door,
only to turn and see my father.
"reed, huh?"
i shrug.
"maybe."
"yeah,"
he says with a laugh,
sticking his hands in his front pockets.
"he's a good kid."
i acknowledge his comment with the nod of my head then head back upstairs.
i find eddie looking at the ingredients in my shampoo when i enter.
"and here i thought you were keeping me hostage."
"i'm still considering it,"
i tease as we make way back into my bedroom.
"who was that?"
"oh...just nancy wheeler,"
i lie,
though i'm not sure why.
am i protecting eddie or protecting myself?
"really? why'd she come all the way out here?"
"to say hey in person."
i go to change the topic until i see the smile on his lips.
it belongs to a man who harbors a crush,
so i have to ask,
"you like nancy wheeler?"
i accuse while i kneel next to him on the bed.
i give him a playful shove and he backs away from me.
"no, i don't,"
he says,
but i can see through that facade.
"yeah, right."
jealousy crawls up from the darkest parts of myself and burns in every crevice of my existence.
i turn away from him in hopes it'll suffocate this burning envy for a girl who owns eddie's heart.
what a hypocrite i am;
angry with eddie yet considering a date of my own.
eddie uses two fingers to walk up the length of my shoulder then says,
"where'd you go?"
i don't answer him,
but instead ask him,
"do you and nancy wheeler date?"
he scoffs at the idea.
"no, we don't. it was an old crush, anyways."
i turn my attention back to him and see the truth,
however disappointing,
in the set of his irises.
"i'm sorry,"
i say with a frown.
"she would have been a lucky girl."
eddie laughs then rolls his eyes.
"you think so?"
"i know so,"
i tell him while i nudge his chin with my knuckle.
i want to tell him about reed,
so that i won't be made a liar,
but i can't.
not in this moment when it's just us.
we're in our own bubble of bliss and why would i ruin it by mentioning someone unworthy?
eddie pulls on the sides of his jacket to envelope me completely while he speaks,
"this jacket has never looked better."
i don't reply because i'm much too timid under his stare.
how could i ever consider someone else when eddie munson is all i'll ever need in this life?
***
the movie with my father didn't go half as bad as i once thought.
eddie left as soon as rain quit slamming against the pavement,
and when he sat out of my window with one foot out and one foot in,
i can swear we almost kissed.
but maybe that is only my feeble mind feeding into delusions.
my father kept up with tradition:
blankets were set out for us,
though our own this time instead of the usual shared one.
popcorn was made alongside cocoa.
it was as every bit delightful as i remembered it.
my father poked me carefully,
like it was an action he was trying out for future use,
then began singing in hopes i'd join him.
i eventually found myself singing alongside him and actually enjoying myself.
"everybody wants to be a cat.
because a cats the only cat who knows where it's at."
and then we fell into laughter together.
it was incredible.
relieving, even.
this was my father.
the man who never showed affection until i fell asleep,
when he'd kiss my head and say,
"sleep tight, my four leaf clover."
the man who laughed only with his family.
the man who was a great father in his own way.
he didn't have to tell me he loved me,
or even that he was proud of me.
i could always just feel it.
in the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled at my accomplishments.
in the firm patting of his hand to my back.
and now we feel almost like a family again,
sitting here with a piece of our past on display.
it's comforting.
"thank you for spending time with me lately. i know you could be doing better things."
"it's been fun. thank you for...you know, letting me come stay with you."
my father cups a hand over my shoulder,
like he used to do so many times before,
and says,
"this is your home, clover. of course. you're always welcome."
i find myself leaning into his embrace.
how i have missed this and never even realized.
i thought the wound of my fathers faded faith in me was a scar healed over in my heart.
but coming back here had reopened it and left it raw;
until now.
it's being healed over with his hand to my shoulder,
a mug of cocoa and buttery popcorn,
all while the aristocats make it back home safe.