our last summer. (e.m)

nine: dinner disasters.

eddie doesn't call me for two nights after our day out.
though i waited patiently by the phone,
he never once called.
i figure it must mean he's planning something great.
what else could this silence mean?
i pretend it's not driving me insane.
i pretend i don't pick at the skin around my fingernails because at least that is an explainable pain,
unlike the one gnawing at me from the inside out at eddie's unexplained absence.
but no worries,
i have the upmost faith in my oldest friend.
so, i'll suppress the urge to seek him out and i'll wait for his grand idea to show up at my window.
and the wait will have been worth it.
until then,
instead of wasting my summer staring at the yellow wallpaper,
i decide today is the day i'll mend my past friendships.
beginning and ending with nancy wheeler.
the moment she opens her front door and sees me,
she engulfs me into a hug so deep,
i fear i'll lose myself in this cardigan-bundled woman.
i wouldn't quite mind it.
nancy was always like the older sister i never had but always wanted.
in some ways,
she was better company than my own mother.
even at eight years old.
"i'm not even mad you've been in town for weeks now. i'm just glad you didn't forget about me."
"forget about you?"
i ask in disbelief.
"how could i forget you? you made kids eat dirt for messing with me."
nancy laughs at the memory and i feel the nod of her head.
we soon pull away from one another so i take the chance to ask her,
"do you want to go do something?"
"god, yes. let me get my purse."
i greet nancy's mother and father while she gets her belongings.
i even wave to mike,
who was barely out of diapers when i last saw him.
"hey...you know eddie, don't you?"
i ask mike in a whisper.
he nods his head,
so i continue with,
"have you seen him lately?"
"uh, yeah. just last night. dnd night."
i try to hide the heartbreak on my face.
eddie is ignoring me.
"okay...cool, yeah. thanks."
i'm out of the house with nancy as soon as i can be.
she senses my troubles with that sororal sense of hers as we pile into my car.
"what's bothering you?"
she ponders.
"long story."
"yeah? does it involve you and eddie in the woods?"
i furrow my eyebrows at this.
"what? me and eddie in the woods?"
"yeah. i don't know. i heard people saying the football team caught you two, you know..."
i shake my head.
i want to hear her say it.
i want to know what it is she's alluding to,
even though i'm already aware.
i want to hear this torrid rumor in all its malignancy.
"we were what?"
"hooking up."
my grip on the steering wheel becomes iron tight.
so much in fact,
my knuckles bleed into shades of white.
"hey, calm down. it's only rumors, okay? it wasn't that long ago they were saying the same things about me."
nancy pulls down the mirror and fixes her hair while she talks,
"get this: ex-boyfriend and his friends spray paint on the movie theater display, "nancy wheelers a whore."  and it doesn't come down for weeks. i mean everyone saw it."
"jesus christ. what an asshole. who did that?"
she's calm when she says,
"steve harrington."
"no way. seriously? ugh, dickhead."
nancy laughs quietly but shakes her head at my insult.
"he's different now. it was an emotional time for everyone, but...things have changed a lot."
"yeah, so i've heard."
she lays an easygoing hand to my shoulder.
"the rumors will go away, they always do. it just means you're really one of us now."
i snicker at the thought of being considered a hawkins girl only now that i've been hazed by awful gossip.
i wonder if eddie's caught wind of this.
is that why he's ignoring me?
is the thought of us being together that repulsive to him?
i tense up at the thoight.
it can't be that.
not since he nearly kissed me that one night.
almost kissed you,
he didn't though.
and why didn't he?
because he finds you utterly disgusting.
i force the thoughts out of my head and focus on the friend at my side.
i'll hash this over when i'm alone.
but for now,
i'll enjoy my time with nancy and pretend like eddie never existed.
nancy and i are walking into the diner as people are leaving when a familiar shoulder brushes mine.
"y/n l/n!"
reed is greeting me now with a soft smile.
"hey,"
i return.
i look for the trace of judgement in his eyes.
surely he's heard of my new name.
but i don't find it there.
instead his brown eyes shine with the elation of a good summers night.
"i never heard from you about friday."
"oh, shit...yeah, i'm sorry,"
i say in a sigh,
shaking my head in frustration.
"i've been caught up."
"yeah, no. i get that, totally."
is reed nervous?
he doesn't strike me at the nervous type.
yet here he is,
shoving his hands into his pockets and smiling bashfully.
"i'll make it up to you. you deserve at least that much for coming to see me that day in the rain."
my timing is either awful or there's a god out there who finds great amusement in watching me writhe.
the moment the words leave my lips,
i see eddie munson across the street.
i try to break away from this conversation with reed,
one i don't even want to have anymore,
so that i might be able to chase eddie and beg him to talk to me,
but nancy's firm hand holds the crook of my elbow and keeps me still.
she's sniffed out my desperation before i could even act on it.
"that's not wise, y/n. everyone is in this restaurant right now. you run after him, it's fuel to their fire,"
she warns me in a low voice so that reed doesn't hear.
i'm blinking back tears and trying not to scream.
"y/n?"
reed asks me now.
i circle back to him,
somehow finding peace in his generosity.
i find my breath again.
"call me and we'll make plans."
i don't know why i'm making promises i cannot keep.
i don't know what i'm doing in this town besides ruining the good memories i salvaged.
reed hugs me goodbye and i nearly crumble into him.
he's warm and he feels rather safe,
but i pull myself together to say goodbye.
nancy and i sit across the table from one another as she scans her menu to say,
"alright, clover, tell me everything."