boys //ziam

chapter seventy-eight

y'all kept on asking about noah. so here you goooo

...

hey mom.

i don't know if you'll ever get to read this. but i miss you. you're the only one i want to talk to. dad keeps calling me to find out if i'm enjoying my new school, and i tell him that i am. but i'm not. i miss you. i miss oliver. i miss everyone at home. i wish i could go back. but i can't, i ruined things with oliver and he hates me. we never got to settle before i left. he doesn't call me or want to speak to me. and i don't have you anymore because you're not yourself.

...

hey mom.

i thought i would be better here. but it turns out, i don't fit in anywhere. no one likes me here too. i feel so alone.

...

hey mom.

dad didn't call me today. i think he's gotten tired of it, i tell him the same thing everyday. that everything is fine and i love this place. but i don't want him to worry. i know he's already going through a lot. i don't want to add to it.

...

hey mom.

dad called today, he didn't sound good. have you been treating him well? anytime he calls, i hope he's calling to tell me you're back to being mom again.

...

hey mom.

i think i'm getting the hang of this place. i still have no friends but i've accepted that i'm not meant to have friends. i'll just be alone for the rest of my life.

...

hey mom.

dad told me that there would be no bullies at this school. he was wrong. i'm tired of always being picked on, is there something wrong with me?

...

hey mom.

i'm sorry. i wish i was a better son.

...

"hey, mom. i thought i would be better here but i'm gay and retárded,"

"give that back," noah says, teary eyed as he watches his bully read out his journal in the hallway.

"what are you gonna do, cry to your mom?" the boy says, teasingly to him.

noah tries to get it from him, but he's held back by the boys other friends. he tries to wrestle away from them but they're much stronger than him.

"stop it, please," noah begs.

the bully looks at him and smirks. then starts to tear out the pages of noah's journal.

"no," noah sobs, wondering what he did to deserve that.

"hey, leave him alone," another boy says. he looks like he's in a class ahead of them. the bullies seem to be scared of him, and decide to run away.

the boy walks up to noah. "are you okay?"

a teary eyed noah looks up at the taller boy. blue. his eyes are so blue. they remind noah of a painting of the ocean his mom once painted.

"yeah," he says, picking up his torn journal from the floor. "thank you."

"you know, you won't survive this place if you keep showing them your weakness," the boy says. "you need to be tough. beat them at their own game."