boys //ziam

chapter eighty-six

lucas sneaks justin into his room so they could make out. when things start to get very heated, lucas stops it from going further.

justin sighs.

"what was that?" lucas asks.

"i didn't say anything," justin denies.

"you just sighed," lucas says.

"is it a crime to sigh?"

"yes," lucas says. "you're disappointed that we're not having sex."

"can you blame me?" justin asks. "look, i'm not trying to pressure you, okay? but you keep saying that you want to wait for the right time. how am i supposed to know when the right time is? we've been together for two years and the only thing we do is make out and blow jobs."

"you said you didn't mind,"

"i don't," justin says.

"it sure sounds like you do," lucas says.

"okay, maybe i do a little," justin says. "i'm sorry. i don't know how to say this without sounding like a jerk. you're my boyfriend and i love you. i want you to be comfortable during our first time, i don't want to pressure you. but at the same time i want to do more, you know. it's been two years. you're the hottest person in school right now. every day i have to listen to the guys at the team talk about how they want to screw you and how lucky i am to be doing it. but i'm a virgin, i'm the only virgin on the team."

"are you kidding? you want us to have sex because of those idiots in your football team?"

"no, of course not," justin says. "i want us to have sex because i love you. and i want to be with you intimately. and i don't know why you don't want to be with me."

"i do want to be with you," lucas says.

"then what do we keep waiting for?"

"i'm just not ready," lucas says.

"why?"

"i don't know!" lucas yells. "i don't know and i'm sorry. i think you should go."

"what?" justin asks. "really? you're kicking me out for letting you know how i feel?"

"no justin. i just need time to think," lucas says.

"i'm sorry," justin says. "listen, i get it. but no one ever feels ready. you don't want to lose your virginity in either of our houses, and you're right. it should be special. we can plan something."

"it's not the location justin," lucas says.

"just give me a chance, okay? we can go somewhere really nice. i've been saving, i can afford us a three day stay at a resort. we don't have to have sex too, you can back off anytime i just want to spend time with you."

lucas sighs. justin is right, he hasn't really been putting effort into the relationship too, he's not been a good boyfriend. "alright."

justin smiles, kissing him. "thank you. and i'm sorry if i sounded insensitive."

"it's okay," lucas smiles. "do you want to spend christmas with us?"

"sure," justin says. "as long as you spend it with my family too."

"how are we gonna do that?" lucas laughs.

"our houses are just next to each other. we'll keep switching,"

"sounds stressful," lucas says. "but alright."

...

"can you believe him?" zayn huffs as he rants to his brother. he didn't want to involve zayaad in this, but he's getting so pent up holding things inside. "and then he says theo is not my son and fúcking just drives off with him."