boys //ziam

chapter twelve

...

this is it, zayn is finally going to tell him what he's been wondering for so long. he stares at him as he waits for him to continue the story. he sees his moms eyes start to moisten and his heart does a leap. his mom is obviously traumatized by whatever happened, is he really that selfish to make him go through that trauma just so he can know what happened?

"mom," jordan interrupts. "you don't have to tell me."

zayn gives him a tear filled smile and touches jordan's arm to give him reassurance. "it's okay, i want to. i'm just a bit scared."

"why?" jordan asks.

"i don't want you to look at me different, i did some fucked up things," zayn says.

"i won't look at you different, i promise," he says, ignoring the fact that his mom just swore which he's usually very against.

zayn takes a deep breath and decides to continue. "your uncle said your dad was a horrible person. he wasn't, not at first. at first, he was amazing. i met him through zayaad, they were friends. back then money was a bit tight for us, zayaad was in university and he did some things, not exactly legal to earn money."

"what? like selling drugs?" jordan questions. zayn avoids his eyes. "woah no way uncle zayaad was a drug dealer. cooool."

zayn gives him a stern look. "there is nothing cool about that."

jordan shrugs. "sorry."

"but yes, he did sell drugs. he lived in an apartment by himself and i used to go spend my holidays with him when i got bored at home. it was always exciting, zayaad never let me get bored. i met your father at his apartment once."

"was he handsome?" jordan perks up in interest.

"yes, you saw the picture," zayn replies honestly. "he was one of the most gorgeous men i've ever met."

"is that where i get my looks from?" jordan grins, giving zayn a look at causes him to roll his eyes. of course jordan is very narcissistic, something zayn often denies it's gotten from him.

"you got lots from me too," zayn responds, looking at jordan sadly. almost like he's remembering something as he's talking and it makes jordan feel a bit guilty.

"i know he was a bad person and i know that i'm a selfish, horrible person because i still want to know about him, even after knowing that he hurt you," jordan confesses.

zayn swallows at that. it's clear that jordan is really interested in getting to know his father. zayn isn't so sure anymore that jordan can handle the truth.

"honey, no, you're not. i'm the selfish one for keeping you away from him," zayn says. "and he wasn't a horrible person, he made some bad decisions but so did i."

"i want to hear the rest of the story," jordan says. "how did you start dating him?"

"he wasn't interested in me at first. he was older, i was still in high school and was his friends younger brother. so i made all the first moves. until he finally noticed me and then we started dating. we kept it a secret from zayaad because we knew he wouldn't approve. it went well for a few months until," zayn sighs. "money got a bit tight for him. he was taking care of his entire family by himself at only nineteen, so he joined a gang. i warned him against it, so did zayaad but he didn't listen to us. a rival gang murdered his entire family."