boys //ziam

chapter ninety-three

zayn is absolutely sure that if he asks liam to stay in the marriage, liam would.

he knows he's the reason they went for couples counseling. liam is going to try if zayn wants him too.

but it doesn't make zayn feel good. the first day they went for couples counseling zayn decided it was going to be the last.

he doesn't want liam to stay with him to make him happy. he wants liam to stay with him because he makes liam happy.

but he doesn't do that.

not anymore.

liam isn't happy with him. he makes liam sad.

he doesn't want to trap liam in the marriage just to make himself happy.

he has to let him go. no matter how it hurts.

he tells liam that he no longer wants to go through with the counseling.

liam asks him if that's what he truly wants.

it isn't. but it's what liam wants. so zayn nods, and they end it.

he goes back home to an empty bed.

he feels miserable. all he's thinking of is now what?

a life without liam. he really can't imagine how it's going to be.

he already signed the papers. any moment from now they'll be divorced.

it usually takes up to six months if all goes well.

zayn can't stay in their bedroom any longer. he decides to take a drive.

he finds himself at his brothers house. zayaad looks like he's packing.

"where are you going?" zayn asks.

"to find harry," zayaad responds. "i'm tired of staying here, doing nothing and feeling guilty. don't try to change my mind. i'm done."

"i'm not," zayn says. he understands zayaad. the hope for something that can turn out disappointing to work out. "do you really believe harry is alive and you'd find him?"

"yes," zayaad says with unwavering confidence.

"how are you so sure?" zayn asks. all the evidence points to him being dead.

"i just know it," zayaad says.

"okay," zayn says. "i really hope you find him."

"i will," zayaad say. "i'm not coming back till i do."

zayn knows when zayaad makes up his mind on something, he can't convince him not to.

"you can have the keys to my place. i paid for a years rent," zayaad says.

"thank you," zayn responds. he feels sad. like this might be the last time he sees his brother in a while.

he watched zayaad pack the rest of his stuff and watches his brother leave. this isn't the first time it's happening but he's still sad about it.

...

liam comes by the house.

"where's your mom?" he asks oliver who's playing video games in the living room.

"no idea," oliver replies, not taking his eyes off the screen. "hi dad."

liam sits next to him. "hey."

"want to play?" oliver asks, passing him the controller. liam shrugs, taking it. he rarely gets to spend time with just him and oliver.

"are you and mom still getting the divorce?" he asks.