!!CURSE WARNING!!
Y/n: remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with murder?
Childe: Stop romanticizing about the past-
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Scaramouche: Your....Right
Childe: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?
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Y/n: WHATS YOUR TYPE
Childe: Oh anything really, but you especially ;)
Y/n desperetly as Childe bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE!
Childe: Oh! B positive
Y/n: DON'T TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE
Childe:
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Childe: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.
Y/n: You and me!!!
Childe, tearing up: Okay.
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Y/n: This is a mistake
Childe, enthusiastically: A mistake we're going to laugh about one day!
Y/n: But not today
Childe, still enthusiastic: Oh, no. Today's going to be a mess
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Childe: Don't worry, I know exactly what I'm doing. Everything is going to be fine!
Y/n: How can you still say that?
Childe: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.
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Childe: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.
Y/n: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.
Childe: Absolutely not.
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Childe: I know you're deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.
Scaramouche: It's not a joke.
Scaramouche: *sniffles*
Scaramouche: I'm a legit snack-
Y/n: Ikr-
Childe: Y/n?!
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Childe: How do I deal with my enemies?
Dotore: Kill them
Childe: That's a bit extreme, I was hoping for a more passive solution
Signora: Kill them only a little?
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Childe: You're 'the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans', what does that mean?
Scaramouche: It means i was second worst thing to happen to those orphans.
Childe: but what's the first worst thing?
*Awkward pause*
Scaramouche: Childe, they weren't always orphans.
Childe:
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*Childe, Y/n and Scaramouche skipping stones on lake*
Childe: It's such a beautiful evening.
Scaramouche: Take that you fucking lake
Y/n: Thats for letting me fucking drown-
Childe: How does the lake LET you drown-
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Y/n: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million dollars?
Signora: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.
Scaramouche: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.
Signora: Good thinking
Childe: You can stab me for free ;)
Signora and Scaramouche: wtf-
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Childe: I can't believe you live nearby, and you won't let anyone crash at your place.
Y/n: You already know too much about me.
Childe: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won't let me crash at your place.
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Childe: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you're all invited
Signora: If?
Y/n: Great, the only party I've ever been invited to and they might not even die.
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[Scaramouche after cutting his long hair]
Childe, texting Y/n: Y/n! Help I'm being kidnapped
Y/n: Where are you?
Childe: I'm with some strange person. In a car. Help.
Y/n: I'll call Scaramouche.
Scaramouche, answering their cell: Y'ello?
Y/n: Where's Childe? They texted me that they were being kidnapped.
Scaramouche: Childe? Whaddya mean, they're right next to me-
Scaramouche:
Scaramouche: I'll call you back. *Hangs up*
Scaramouche: THE NEW FUCKING HAIRCUT ISN'T THAT BAD!
Childe: WHO ARE YOU?!?
YOU ARE READING
Genshin Scenarios & Oneshots, etc
FanfictionGenshin Impact Scenario-Oneshots-Songflics and Headcannons (cover found on Pinterest, not mine) :3