!!CURSE WARNING!!
Childe: Zhongli, in your professional opinion, how would I die?
Zhongli: Murder, Assassination, Maybe during a genocide and we'd never find your head.
Y/n: *Silently raising his finger in question*
Zhongli: You'd slip in the tub
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Zhongli: Why does Y/n have a knife?
Venti: Well they felt unsafe, so I gave them one!
Zhongli: Well now I feel unsafe...
Venti: Oh! I'm sorry
Venti:
Venti: Would you also like a knife?
-----------------------------------------
Zhongli: Time to wake up!
Y/n sleepily: 5 more minutes...
Zhongli: Aww ok <33
Zhongli: Time to wake up!
Venti sleepily: 5 more minutes...
Zhongli sharpening a knife: Perhaps you misheard me-
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Xiao: Can I go see my girlfriend?
Zhongli: No!
Xiao: Why?!
Zhongli: Chores before Whores
Xiao: Zhongli!
Zhongli: Dishes before Bitches
Xiao: Why are you like this?
Zhongli: Cutting grass before getting ass-
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Venti: I'm not stupid Y/n my knowledge is better than yours!
Y/n: Really now?
Zhongli: Spell orange
Venti: The color or the fruit?
Zhongli: Meeting adjourned
--------------------------------------------
*Y/n wearing Zhongli's sweater*
Zhongli: Stealing from me again?
Y/n: What?
Zhongli: First my heart, then my clothes...
Zhongli: Whats next? My last name~?
Y/n: O///O
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Y/n: The food is so cute! I can't eat it!
Venti:
Ei:
Xiao:
Ganyu:
Zhongli: Your cute, I still eat you~
Xiao: ONE DINNER
Ei: *Sighs* Here we go again...
Xiao: JUST ONE NORMAL DINNER IS ALL I ASK!
--------------------------------------------
Y/n: Please! Can I borrow your phone I lose mine! What's your password?
Zhongli: No...I'm sorry.
Y/n: WHY NOT?!
Zhongli: J-JUST BECAUSE-
Xiao: His password is Y/n
---------------------------------------------
Stranger: I have your son
Zhongli: I don't have a son?
Stranger: So who's kid is this asking me to kill him so he doesn't have to go back to the old grandpa and the dog brained idiot?
Zhongli: Oh my god you have Xiao-
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Zhongli texting: The first person I had a crush on I didn't know how to handle it, so I filled their car with heart shaped confetti!
Y/n: ....Wait
Y/n: THAT WAS YOU?!?
Zhongli: Shit-
Zhongli: Who added you to this gc
Zhongli: They're so dead-
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Xiao: DIE
Y/n: Please don't
Xiao: DIE!
Y/n: PLEASE DON'T DIE
Ganyu: I'm confused... Why are they yelling at a plant?
Zhongli: Me and Y/n bought it and Y/n said it was our child, and I think Xiao's jealous
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Y/n: Zhongli and I are no longer together...
Ganyu: Y/n...That's a terrible way to tell people you're married.
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Y/n: Oh, fiddlesticks.
Zhongli: Look, I understand this is a tense situation, but let's watch the fucking language.
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Zhongli: Venti, let me see what you have.
Venti running past him: A KNIFE!!
Zhongli: NO!!
Ei watching concerned: Oh my lord, why does he have a knife?!
------------------------------------------------------------
Zhongli: Did you guys get the eggs like a asked?
Ganyu: Even better!
Y/n holding up a chicken: Look!
Ganyu: It's name is Zhong!
Zhongli: What the fuck-
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YOU ARE READING
Genshin Scenarios & Oneshots, etc
FanfictionGenshin Impact Scenario-Oneshots-Songflics and Headcannons (cover found on Pinterest, not mine) :3
