just selfies of my breakdowns, with each picture will come with a description of how I felt during each one. it's probably a stupid thing to do but I figure if I'm gonna try to love myself it's best to start with the broken pieces first, so yeah.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Started overthinking like I always do. Started thinking bout my past and forgot about the present. I mean yesterday is history, tomorrow's a mystery and today's a gift that is why it's called the present after all. I just seem to forget that more often than not, is all. I do try my best to live in the present but during these breakdowns I get trapped in the past. I mean the pain is bearable when there are no reminders of how it came to be. Though when certain things trigger past memories it's like I travel back in time and somehow get stuck their. Always feeling like I'll never be able to escape or leave, just running and running. Until I fall down and then think maybe I can leave all I have to do is turn around and face them and not run anymore. But see that's the thing people think it's so easy to escape. But the thing is, if the chain that ties you down isn't physical but psychological it's a lot harder than you'd think to escape it or get free from it. I mean if I truly believed it was that easy and it truly was, I wouldn't still be where I am ya know. I'd have left long ago, I wouldn't have stuck around and tried my best to get used to the pain of it all. If I knew it was so easy to leave, if it actually was so easy to leave I wouldn't lie. I wouldn't say I'm fine or say I'm used to it to anything that's not right or is wrong. But I can say that what I see in this photo is a girl who can't escape. Not because she's still tied down anymore no she freed herself a while ago. It's simply because she's still holding out hope for the ones she loves to change for the better. She's still holding out that little bit of hope that is sadly slowly being blown out. She's slowly starting to lose hope. she's slowly dying because she always told herself, I only have one reason to live and it's for them. So now that the hope she had for them is slowly going out so is her will to live, if she doesn't find another one real soon. She knows she could have so many reasons to live for. But she's spent so long choosing to only live for them sense they had her trapped all these years that she can't find one. She wants to find another reason to live, so she's using the fact that she's looking for one reason to keep on living, to stay alive for the time being. But she looks exhausted like she's had to shoulder so much, that was not hers to carry. She looks stressed out and tired from society, from people that she's always thinks of living in the wild as an animal and with the animals. She'd do anything to escape society, and all that pain she knows she'll have to one day face now that she's freed from that house.
