Mephobia Review Shop

17.| Everything Will Be Alright

REVIEWER: royallyethereal

Everything Will Be Alright - ochun_2012

Book Cover/Title - 3/5 

The book cover you currently have on is okay, I suppose. I mean, I love the two hands reaching out to each other; it gives us a small hint of what the book is going to be about. But, I can't exactly say the same about your background nor your text placement. I think it could be better. Plus, I don't see your name on there, either. It's not mandatory, though, so I'm not really too fussed about that. I'm going to give the cover a 1/3. The blurb seems to match well with the title. Reading both, I get a good idea of what the book is going to be about, therefore, I'm giving it a 2/2.

Blurb - 2/5 

Okay, your blurb is sweet, short, and gives us a good idea for what the book is going to be about. Honestly, I wouldn't have any problems with it if it weren't for the small errors I caught here and there. I'll go through it little by little and point out what I mean."Fear, rage, shock. When a child is hit with a trauma that's too big for him, those emotions stay with him, as sweet companions. Eventually driving them crazy. That's what Tutors are for." Okay, first of all, I really think it'd be so much better to replace the commas in the first sentence with periods, instead, as a sort of emphasis to really get your point across: "Fear. Rage. Shock." Sometimes, authors make small sentences or one-word sentences for emphasis. It gives the book that little "hmph!" if you know what I mean. Second of all, I don't believe there's a reason for the comma after "with him". The sentence could do just fine without it. . . "those emotions stay with him as sweet companions." Onto the next sentence, I'm really not sure what you meant by "them". Was that word supposed to be there or was it supposed to be "him", instead?

Moving down to the third paragraph in your blurb: "Sofia, tutor at her first job, will have to protect Alexander, twelve years old figure skater. Alas, she has no idea what exactly is that she have to protect him from." In the first paragraph of your blurb, I noticed you capitalized "Tutor", yet, here you didn't. I suggest you keep your terms consistent. Like for example, in my book, I have these bad villains known as the Twisted Beings, and I always make sure to keep their name capitalized because it's what they're called; it's not just a term, it's a name. So, you have to decide: is [tutor] supposed to be just a simple term/word or is it a name. If it's the former, then, there wouldn't be a reason to capitalize them, but if it was the latter, then you do so. Remember to be consistent. Another suggestion I have for you is to add dashes in between the age of a person's. However, this only occurs when the age is written before the person's name/title (I have no better way to explain this, I'm sorry). But in your case, it should be written as "twelve-year-old figure skater". (And there's no need to add 's' after 'year'). Remember that this is only if the age is written before the person's name/title. For example: 

Alexander is a twelve years old 

Twelve-year-old Alexander. 

Alexander is a twelve-year-old figure skater.

 See, there's a difference between the first example and the other two. Moving on. . . I have to admit, the last sentence sounds kind of awkward. I mean, I understand what you're trying to tell me, but as I say the sentence out loud, it doesn't flow too well. 

Original • She has no idea what exactly is that she have to save him from. 

Edited • She has no idea what exactly she's trying to save him from.