Cruise (A Shawn Mendes Fanfic)

Thinkin'

I close the door and walk towards my bed. The amount of anger I have inside me is not containable. I need to punch something right now. Finding the nearest thing to me, which happened to be my hairspray bottle, I chucked it to the ground. My brother wasn't in the room so it was okay.

How could Shawn be like this. I legitimately thought he was something else. A gentle person. What he did wasn't even necessarily bad. If anything, I actually really enjoyed it. I had never been kissed before. It made me feel almost "wanted" for a second. It was the fact that he wasn't stopping when I asked him to. That's what pissed me off. It's not his right to overpower me. Who does he think he is?

Lying on my back on the bed, eased my body and mind. I laid in complete silence for around three minutes and it was so relieving. I needed time to think. Picking up my phone beside me, I come to find out that it is already 8:54 PM. Where had the time gone. Obviously I was just a naïve and wide eyed girl being lured into Shawn's trap. He's definitely a charmer, that one.

I haven't been spending anytime with my family. This was supposed to be one full week with just my family and I. We were supposed to come out of this trip with a closer bond with one another, but instead I'm over here, locking lips with some famous boy I just casually met. Just as I'm thinking about my family, I receive a text from Dad.

Dad: "I know it's late but meet us for dinner in 10 minutes. Where are you? Just checking up."

I would love to go to dinner with my family tonight, but I'm just completely worn out and in no mood to talk to anyone. Shawn has ruined my night and I'm feeling selfish and terrible that that will affect my family's night as well. All I want to do is go to bed. I send a text back to my dad.

"I'm in my cabin and I'm so tired. Is it okay if I skip out on dinner tonight? I'm in no mood for any food right now. I just wanna sleep."

Seconds later, I receive a reply.

Dad: "Sure honey. I'm sorry you feel that way. Get some rest. I'll tell mum. Goodnight!"

With that, I put my phone down and head to the washroom to remove my makeup and cleanse my face. I should shower but my body is on the verge of collapsing. I need to sleep.

Getting into my bed finally, I lie down, staring into the blank ceiling. The more I think about it, the more I'm really starting to hate myself for shutting Shawn down like that. Before he kissed me, he sung me a beautiful song he wrote just for me. I don't know how many times he's done that for girls....probably many, but it made me feel so special. Everything we did today was incredible. Talking to him felt like talking a friend you would've had for years. He kissed me in the moment of it all and I should've let him. I know he wouldn't have taken it that far. I know that HE knows that I wouldn't allow it. I should really text him and apologize. I force myself to find the courage to pick up my phone and send him a text.

"Shawn I'm sorry for what happened tonight. I was being so stupid. I really hope I can see you tomorrow so I can explain myself."

As I'm about to put my phone down, it buzzes.

Shawn: "okay"

Well..at least he's not ignoring me. With that I connect my charger to my phone and put it down. This one day of drama has been more than what has ever happened to me in my life. Sleep is all I need right now.

//short chapter! I needed a small, calm chapter before things get hot and flamey again!//