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Naire Carter New York City, New York
After a month of long court cases and long crying sessions, Nia had finally won custody of Julie, while Sakina and Naire were slowly coming to terms with their loss. Sakina was no longer holed up in her own shell, she was gradually becoming herself again.
"I'm so happy for Nia and Julie, they've been through so much." Sakina spoke softly, they were currently sitting on the balcony and enjoying the sun.
Today was Nia and Julie's celebration party, which was hosted in Nia's backyard at 5pm. It was currently 10 am and the family had just finished their breakfast, currently, the main aim was to simply enjoy and relax in the sun. Sakina's appetite was growing but she was extremely careful in what she ate.
It was clear that she'd developed some sort of anxiety when it came towards keeping the baby safe. She ate in a strict diet, she tended to overthink everything and she worried a lot. Although she didn't cry as much, Naire could tell that Sakina was desperate to do this baby right, every action was driven by fear that she'd lose this baby too.
"They deserve it." Naire nodded, holding her hand out to make shade for Ebony, who was busy eating an ice cream while she watched a show on Sakina's phone.
"I can't even imagine how hard it's been for Nia, it must've left a scar." Sakina glanced towards the busy streets of New York absentmindedly, she worried about her friend a lot.
"Yeah, she's got someone to share the pain with though." Naire added on, she personally had never killed anyone but she could imagine the guilt and nightmares.
"Ion know, if I was her I wouldn't find comfort in Julie. Her presence would just make me feel worse." Sakina shrugged.
Naire glanced at her before looking towards the outside, allowing the silence to flourish between the two of them. At times, it was simply just being in each other's presence that was enough. Talking wasn't necessary.
-XX-
Nia embraced Sakina and they rocked side by side, they hadn't seen each other in a while and they'd missed one another. She pulled away to take a proper look at Sakina, who had a glow about her. Her stomach was still flat, which meant that no one would be able to tell that she was actually pregnant.
Sakina and Naire had only told Makena, Troy and Kya about her pregnancy. Troy and Kya already knew about her intersexuality, while Makena was driving herself insane with worry because she'd noticed the shift in Sakina's mood, so Naire had told her to make sure she didn't overthink anything.
No one else knew.
"Girl you glowing." Nia smilef, making Sakina wave her off while Naire put Ebony on the ground, then watched her run off to go play with Julie in the backyard.
"It's my new skincare." Sakina smiled back, she turned to glance at Naire, who kissed her cheek before walking outside to go join Kentrell for a blunt, away from the kids. Zaniya was in the backyard with Zion, watching the barbecue and the children.
Nia slumped onto the sofa and Sakina sat down beside her, their simply hugged once again. This time, the hug was deeper and much more meaningful. It said all Sakina wanted to say, without her having to actually say something. She kissed Nia's forehead with worry-filled eyes before pulling away.
"How do you feel?" Sakina asked softly, looking into Nia's eyes.
Glancing around the room, Nia replied, "I feel scared, she's a whole person who's my responsibility now." She paused and took in a shaky breath, "I gotta make sure this little girl grows up happy and hopeful, that's what I owe Salvador."
Sakina nodded her head slowly, she was simply here to be a listening ear to Nia.
"You know, the guilt doesn't get any better. It eats at me, day in and day out and it doesn't stop." Nia looked down at her hands, fiddling with them as she tried to calm herself down, "But I'd rather have these nightmares and feelings of guilt because they're my reminder that I got a debt to pay back, you know?"
"But you don't got a debt to pay back though." Sakina cut in softly, sighing as she watched Nia shake her head.
"I do. In exchange for my brothers staying alive, I gotta take care of Julie. I have to make sure she's good." Nia said, her eyes flooding up with tears. "Sal wasn't an evil person, he was a victim."
"So will you ever tell Julie how her brother died?" Sakina questioned, she reached out to rub Nia's arm as a way to try to comfort her.
"Yeah, as soon as she's all grown up and doesn't need me no more, I'm gonna tell her I killed him." Nia wiped her tears with a frown, "If she reports me, I'll serve the time and if she wants to cut me off, I'll stay away."
"But as long as I raise her and make sure she never lacks anything in her childhood, I'll be fine. I stole Julie's childhood from her, this is the least I could do."
"Nia she doesn't really need to know." Sakina urged her, tears now shimmering in her own eyes as the reality of what her friend was saying sunk in.
"She does. But only when she's an independent adult. That way, she can take care of herself and won't need anyone to be survive." Nia sighed, wiping the tears away and sniffling.
She looked up at Sakina, who was crying. They hugged one another once again.
"I know you don't understand why I'm doing this, Kina." Nia said with a hoarse voice, "And I hope you never ever understand."
-XX-
Rubbing her stomach, Sakina sat on the chair in the back yard while hear head was deep in thought. Her conversation with Nia had really opened her eyes, once she gave birth, there would be someone who depended on her, the same way Ebony depended on her and Naire.
She was responsible for this person's happiness, livelihood and health. Not to mention, making sure that they grew up to be functioning members of society. Staring at the sky, Sakina sighed once again. Feeling a deep weight resting on her chest, Salvador's story was so heartbreaking.
The odds were against him from the start.
Dead, immigrant parents. Horrible foster parents. He had to raise Julie by himself, led to blackmail from Latin Kings. Met the woman who saved his life and had to participate in the attempted murder of her brothers.
All while battling crippling depression. It fascinated her how blood really was not thicker than water.
Salvador had been willing to throw his whole life away for an 8 year old girl who had no relation to him. Simply because of the bond they'd formed.
Nia had saved him at 14 years old and later killed him at 19. They were truly linked to one another.
What a heavy burden for a 19 year old girl to carry on her shoulders.
