Handsome And Haunting (Wangxian Modern AU)

Lost

This chapter was hard to write for me.
This is the reason why I updated this late, but no matter how long it takes, I will finish this fiction!
I have many more which I want to write!
I hope you like the chapter!

A side note: You may be mad at Wangji, but you will understand his real intention in the end.

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'That idiot...' Lan Zhan thought. Wei Ying was playing a dangerous game by escaping from the mental ward to see him while all Lan Zhan was doing trying to protect him for his own good.

'Go away Wei Ying...' He pleaded in his mind, but he was still there. He knew Wei Ying was stubborn. Even though he was soaked wet because of the rain and was shivering because of the cold he was still sitting on the porch.

Even though he knew he was going to regret, he had to do this for Wei Ying's own good. 'I'm sorry, Wei Ying,' he thought to himself. He opened the door keeping a flat expression on his face. "Why are you here Wei Ying?" He crossed his arms on his chest.

Despite the coldness of his voice, Wei Ying was happy to hear Lan Zhan's voice. He stared into the cold golden eyes with hope and love. "I came here to see you." He gave a broken smile. The rain drops were dripping down his hair and his clothes. "You left without any explanation. You didn't even say goodbye to me..."

"I didn't." Lan Zhan spoke with a sharp voice even though every piece of his heart was breaking inside. "Because I didn't want to talk with you. I didn't want to see your face."

Wei Ying felt like someone was stabbing him in the stomach and poking it making the wound deeper. It was not like being stabbed in the heart. It hurt but didn't kill him. "Why?" He could barely spoke.

The pain in his voice hit him like someone just poured buckets of cold water to him. "Because I didn't want to deal with your last minute dramas." While not looking at Wei Ying, it was easier to tell all of these lies. "You tired me up with your personality and with your dramas. I'm tired of you."

As soon as he heard the first words tears began streaming down Wei Ying's cheeks. "You told me you love me..." He couldn't believe these words were lie. Someone couldn't pretend like they love another person while looking at them in the eyes. They couldn't pretend like that when they were kissing them. These were lies! They must had been! Lan Zhan loved him. They loved each other!

"I don't love you." Lan Zhan frowned. "I thought I did but I'm really tired of the dramas which I go through." 'I'm doing this for Wei Ying...' He exhaled. "Let alone everything, it is ethically wrong. You shouldn't have been more than my patient in the first place."

Wei Ying's heart shattered even more if it was possible. He felt his head was spinning. "This is how you really feel?" His face was soaked with tears and rain drops.

'No...' Lan Zhan wanted to say but he couldn't. He had to wait a few more days for Wei Ying's own good. "Yes, this is what I really feel. The thing between us is ethically wrong and..." He stopped for a moment and forced himself to say the last word. "Disgusting."

"Do you think it is disgusting?" Wei Ying asked. 'Do you think our love is disgusting?' was the real question he wanted to ask, but he couldn't bring himself for this.

"Yes, it is disgusting." Lan Zhan said without looking into Wei Ying's eyes. That was better, because everyone knows that eyes are the mirror of the heart. "I'm a doctor and you are my patient. Nothing more."

"Okay." Wei Ying held his tears back. "Then in this case, I don't want to be your patient anymore and I don't want to see you ever again either." With that he left. He hoped Lan Zhan would stop him, but he didn't.

As Wei Ying was walking away Lan Zhan began tearing up. He wanted to call out for him. He wanted to tell him to stop. He wanted to tell him he was sorry. He wanted to tell him he loved him. He wanted to tell him he had to do this for his own good. He couldn't. He had to be patient for a few more days.

'You came back here again.'

'Because you don't have anywhere else to go.'

'Your beloved doctor didn't want you either.'

'I had been telling this from the first day.'

'You were right. Who even would want a mess like him?'

Wei Ying felt so weak that he couldn't even answer them back. He couldn't even hear what they were saying. He could see some doctors were running toward him before he fell onto the ground and everything went black.

"He must have been outside for a long time." Wei Ying heard a stranger's voice, but he couldn't find the enough strength to open his eyes. His chest, his head and his sides were killing him. "He has pneumonia."

He was cold. Even though he was half sleeping he was aware that he was shaking and his teeth were chattering. Ironically he was also aware of the sweat which was dripping down from his face. Someone wiped his face with a wet towel.

He could sense there were two people in the room, but only one of them was talking for some reason. 'Whatever...' He thought. 'I'm too tired to mind this.' After a few minutes, everything was finally quiet again. So he could sleep peacefully.

Or he just hoped so.

Nightmares didn't leave him alone, but this time it was worse, because he didn't have any strength to wake up from them.

His past.

His bullies.

The voices.

The monsters.

The darkness.

All of them were surrounding him one after the other.

He fell into one after another.

Even though he wanted to stop it, he couldn't.

Maybe his mind knew that being stuck in nightmares was better than waking up to the reality which is more horrible.

Then he felt someone was stroking his hair gently as if they were aware that he had nightmares and they wanted to calm him down. When the person touched his hair all the nightmares went away.

Wei Ying wanted to thank the person, to his savior, but he couldn't find the strength to open his eyes.

He felt a breath touched against his skin as the person whispered something in his ear. "I'm sorry."

Wei Ying knew this voice, but he was sure it was a dream.

Lan Zhan was there.

It was too good to be real.

So it must had been a dream.

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I don't know why, but I can't find anything to say today.
I guess I'm getting emotional for getting close to the final lol.
Happy eid to everyone who celebrates it!
Stay safe!
Lots of love~