Trying To Understand This Complicated Feelings

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Hi~
Warning!
Boys are kissing in this chapter (not a fully kiss though) but if you are disturbed by boys getting closer emotionally or physically, please don't read the chapter.
I won't tolerate if I see any hate comments!

⊱ ───── {.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.} ──── ⊰

"Good morning Lan Zhan." Unlike yesterday, Wei Ying welcomed Wangji with a smile on his face.

Lan Zhan was stunned. Was Wei Ying finally getting warmer to him or was it because of his dissociative identity disorder? No matter what was the reason, he was happy that Wei Ying was not looking at him like he wanted to kill him. "Good morning," he said back. "How are you today?"

"I'm unusually good." Wei Ying said with a chuckle.

Lan Zhan sensed something was different. Wei Ying was unusually cheerful. It was unbelievable and surprising after his tantrum yesterday. "I can see that," he mumbled. They stared at each other in silence for a while.

"What about you Lan Zhan?" Wei Ying asked which surprised Lan Zhan. Wei Ying never asked how he was feeling. "It seems like you didn't sleep well last night," Wei Ying continued. "You have bloodshot eyes," he added.

"I'm fine." Lan Zhan tried to avoid from the topic. He didn't want to tell Wei Ying that he had nightmares about him.

Wei Ying stood up and walked toward Lan Zhan with a smile on his face. "I can see that you are lying." He pinned Lan Zhan against the wall. Their bodies were pressed really close and there were just a few inches between their faces. He held a hair strand of Lan Zhan. "You have a really good looking."

Lan Zhan's heart began beating fast like a bird in the cage. However, he didn't understand. Was it because he was scared that Wei Ying was going to do something to him or was it because he was excited that he was close with Wei Ying? Their chests were touching each other and he was sure that Wei Ying could feel his heartbeats too. When Wei Ying touched a strand of his hair his heart began beating even faster as if it was possible. "Wei Ying... What do you think you are doing?" He tried not to sound weak, but it was like all the air in his lungs were gone.

Wei Ying just smirked when he heard how Lan Zhan's voice was trembling. Wei Ying went closer and closer to Lan Zhan. His lips were trembling in anticipation. Wei Ying pressed his lips against Lan Zhan's lips slightly.

It was not a kiss at all, it was just a small touching of lips, but it was enough to make Lan Zhan's heart skip a beat. He wanted to grab Wei Ying's hair and deepen the kiss, but his wrists were pinned against the wall. He couldn't move at all. 'This is wrong, push him away...' His mind was telling him to do the logical thing, but his body was not obeying. After seconds which felt like hours to him, Wei Ying pulled away letting his wrists go. As soon as Wei Ying released his wrists, Lan Zhan pushed him away and ran to the door. He immediately locked the door and leaned against it. "Damn it..." He whispered. His ears were red just like the other times he got embarrassed.

"Wangji, are you alright?" He cursed to himself when he heard his uncle's voice.

"I'm fine," he replied, but he was not sounding convincing.

"Really?" Lan Qiren asked looking at him trying to understand if he was telling the truth.

"Yes, really." Lan Zhan said avoiding making eye contact with his uncle. "I just need some air."

Lan Qiren was not convinced, but he just nodded his head not pressuring to his nephew to tell him what was wrong. "Alright, come back when you feel better."

Lan Zhan nodded his head. He was glad that he could get away easily. He touched his lips absently. They were tingling at the memory of Wei Ying's soft lips touched against them. 'What's happening to me? Why was I attracted to someone I just had seen a few times in my life?' He thought to himself. 'What am I going to after he leaves the mental ward?' This was what scared Lan Zhan the most. Not being able to see Wei Ying ever again was scaring him.

There is a fact. Whenever you think about someone a lot, it is because they were thinking about you first. "So he was thinking about me first." Wei Ying mumbled and smirked. He never thought he would be attracted by a guy before. He was not definitely a homophobic, but he never thought himself as gay either. Even though it had been a short time since they met, seeing Lan Zhan or even thinking about him making his heart skip a beat.

He chuckled as he was laying on the uncomfortable bed. "I can't be in love with him." Even if his mind denied the truth, his heart knew: He was slowly falling in love with Lan Zhan.

Lan Zhan woke up, gasping for air. 'Same dream again...' He ran his hand through his hair. It was still dark. He looked at his digital desk clock. It was 04.32 in the morning. Even though he couldn't remember every details of his dream, it was still scaring the hell out of him. It was impossible to go back to sleep again. The nightmares didn't let him to have a peaceful sleep.

Wei Ying was in his mind all the time as he was sitting on his chair. He was such into the deep thoughts that, his tea was already cold. "Good morning, Wangji." He flinched when he heard his older brother's voice.

"Good morning," he briefly replied. He was not in the mood to talk.

Lan Huan sat on the other chair. "You seem distrait, is everything alright?"

Lan Zhan hesitated to answer, but he needed help to sort some things in his mind out. It was ironic. He was a psychiatrist and he never had any problem in understanding the other people's emotions or feelings, but he couldn't understand his own feelings. You know what they say: The shoemaker's son always goes barefoot. "To be honest," he started, holding the tea cup in his hands, "I'm not sure."

Lan Huan looked at his younger brother in sympathy. "Is there a problem with your new patient?" He patted Lan Zhan's shoulder.

"No..." Lan Zhan replied. "Yes..." He then let out a sigh. "I don't know..."

This unclear answer made Lan Huan confused. "I don't understand what you meant Wangji. You know, you can talk with me about everything."

Lan Zhan let out a sigh. "I don't blame you. My new patient makes me confused too. It seems like he hates me, but yesterday..." He didn't want to tell everything in details to his brother. "Yesterday, he treated me in a different way. I have been think about this since I left his side yesterday." Lan Zhan explained as best as he could.

Lan Huan nodded his head understandingly. "I see now... Maybe you are affected by him more than you think," he said with a kind voice.

"What should I do?" Lan Zhan couldn't help and asked.

"Listen to your heart," Lan Huan replied. "I'm sure you will solve this problem like you did with your other patients."

He was standing in front of the room which Wei Ying was staying. After he talked with his older brother, he immediately left the house and found himself standing in front of the certain room. Unlike earlier, he was not feeling as brave as before. It took a few minutes, but he eventually picked his courage up and unlocked the door. 

⊱ ───── {.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.} ──── ⊰

Wei Ying acts flirty toward Lan Zhan because of his dissociative identity disorder.
Sorry, this chapter was shorter than usual, because I didn't have time.
My online school started, I have a group project, I have an upcoming implant operation and we are moving to a new house. So I was busy with packing my things.
I could write until chapter 6 (not finished chapter 6 though) and there will be smut in chapter 6~
Please stay tuned lol!
Well... Actually don't expect too much from me because I'm not good at smut at all heheh...
Lots of love~

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