iris. - steddie

07. aftermath

monday march 21, 1986

steve got in his car and drove out of the trailer park, vision fuzzy as he felt tears forming in his eyes, threatening to spill any minute.

he hardly made it half a mile out before he pulled over onto the side of the road, shaky breaths staggering from his lips.

he couldn't believe he kissed eddie.

he kissed him.

it couldn't have been through intoxication, they only split one joint. no, steve knew exactly what he was doing.

now, he didn't even recognize himself.

steve's entire life, he'd never experienced feelings as strong as he did in that trailer.

he knew whatever it was he had with nancy 2 years ago was just blind infatuation.

but there's no way that's what this was.

the very idea of eddie made steve's heart speed up, and made him feel sick at the same time. he hasn't even known him that long.

something about the boy just pulled him in more than steve'd ever imagine anyone could.

and he had left eddie in the trailer.

eddie remained sitting on the floor with his knees curled to his chin, head in his hands as tears dropped from his face and sunk into the fabric of his shirt.

from the second he met steve, he could tell how genuine of a person he was. eddie had always thought steve was one of those stereotypical rich teens who didn't care about anything but their reputation.

but in just a few days, watching steve take care of all of the kids? how he looked at eddie with such genuine concern and sympathy in the trailer & school bathrooms?

no, steve was like no one he'd met before.

and he kissed him.

eddie knew there was no way steve was into guys. sure, he was the one who asked him to initiate the kiss, but he immediately stormed out.

it was probably him. it was him that ruined it.

'fuck,' he whispered through a small sob, leaning his head back against the wall.

as his breath slowed, eddie felt stinging in his hand slightly. he looked down at where his right hand rested on the floor to see his knuckles bloodied as small drops fell onto the ground.

he slowly pulled himself up, walking to the sink and wincing as he ran cold water over them.

eddie didn't feel like doing anything. he walked into his room, laying down on his bed and drifted to sleep staring down the hallway where he had ruined one of the best things he'd had in a while.

.
the next morning

steve blinked his eyes open as the alarm beside his bed beeped loudly, only to get switched off and knocked off the table.

the memories of the night before came colliding back into his head. steve had driven home trying not to break down crying and fallen asleep within seconds as soon as he was in his room.

he couldn't like eddie.

steve knew he had gotten past what other people thought of him ages ago, but he had gotten his heart smashed by nancy wheeler. he didn't even want to imagine how much eddie could be able to hurt him.

he heard the phone ring downstairs, steve rolling back over to face the window and go back to sleep.

out of the corner of his eye, he caught a little glimpse of eddie's jeans he still hadn't given back.

steve covered his face with the blanket, staring at the white of the comforter as he took deep breaths. it'd be fine. he'll figure it out, right?

a few hours later, he eventually got himself out of bed and went downstairs. steve picked up the phone, which beeped with 2 messages.

he played the first one.

'hey, dingus! are you still asleep? you do know you're my ride to school, right?' robin's voice came through the phone in a joking manner. 'you better be here in the next like, 10 minutes or i'm screwed!'

fuck. he had completely forgotten he actually had to go to school. his mind was too shaken by the fact he kissed a guy, let alone eddie munson.

steve took a deep breath, the next message playing.

'steve seriously it's been almost 2 hours, are you okay?' the worried tone in robin's voice made his heart hurt. 'please call me back dude, you're scaring me.'

robin knew exactly what she and steve had been through just less than a year ago, and it made him feel awful he had let her get that concerned over him.

steve dialed her number, taking a deep breath. 'please pick up, please pick up, please—' he whispered, before he heard her voice on the other line.

'hello?' she said, voice still sounding scared.

'robin?' steve choked out, not expecting his voice to break at all.

'steve? oh my god, are you okay?' she immediately spit out, sounding somewhat happy he finally answered.

'yeah— yeah i'm fine robin, i'm sorry i didn't pick you up this morning i didn't mean to-'

'did something happen?'

steve paused, wanting to tell her so bad, but he could hardly process how he felt himself.

'nothing you have to worry about,' steve said. 'i'm fine.' he said, sounding more like was trying to convince himself rather than her.

'do you need me to come over?' she said, steve letting out a little laugh.

'how?' he said, a small smile tugging onto his face.

'i.. i don't know. i can walk— or-'

'you're gonna find some way to come over, aren't you?' steve said, already knowing the answer.

'probably. you sound like you're sad.' robin paused, the brunette not saying anything. 'and you already made me miss school. you don't get to do that then cry alone.'

steve knew she was right, he'd probably drive himself crazy and end up crying.

'..i can be at yours in 15.'