Boys Don't Cry - Steddie

Chapter 5

Steve didn't go back to sleep at all. He couldn't. Any time he closed his eyes all he saw were Eddie's looking back at him. Dark, intense, analyzing him, seeing everything. What the hell was wrong with him?

He didn't even register the drive to Robin's house. He just pulled into the driveway, shifted the car to park, and beeped once to let her know he was waiting, the same as every other day he picked her up. He zoned out as he waited, unable to get his mind off of Eddie and Eddie's hair and Eddie's eyes and Eddie's lips and Eddie's hands. Stop. Stop it, just leave it alone.

Steve honked the horn for the second time in the past five minutes. He was tired of waiting for Robin to get in the car so they could go to work. He was tired of sitting in his car alone because when he was alone he thought of Eddie, and when he thought of Eddie he felt sick. Finally he saw her hop out the door on one foot, trying to pull her other shoe on.

She opened the passenger side door and glared at him, "Patience is a virtue, you know. I was on my way, I left my vest upstairs and my mom hates when I wear my shoes through the house."

"You were taking forever, Robin," he glanced over at her as she plopped down in the seat, closing the car door and putting on her seatbelt.

He put the BMW in reverse and backed out of the driveway, heading towards the store. They were both quiet for a few minutes, "You look like shit."

"And you look as radiant as ever," Steve glanced in the rear view mirror quickly, taking note of the dark circles under his eyes and his usually neat hair that was now messy from running his fingers through it anxiously.

Robin chewed on her lip as she studied him, trying to figure out who or what Steve was upset about, praying it wasn't her. She cleared her throat, "How's Eddie doing?"

"Don't know."

"I thought he was staying with you."

"He is."

"Then how do you not-"

"Jesus, Rob, I didn't talk to him this morning! I don't know, okay?" His knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel just a little bit too hard.

Robin sank back in her seat and looked out the window, falling silent.

Steve sighed, "I'm sorry... I didn't get a lot of sleep last night, and... I just- I'm not doing great."

"It's fine." She didn't say anything for the rest of the ride.

They went through their usual opening routine and unlocked the door at exactly noon. Robin would throw the occasional worried glance at Steve. She could practically feel the waves of anxiety rolling off of him as he sat behind the counter with his head in his hand, staring at the computer screen while he waited for something to do. Robin set the small stack of tapes in her hand back down on the cart, deciding to finish restocking the shelves later. She slid behind the counter and stood next to Steve, copying him by putting her head on her hand and looking up at him expectantly.

Steve did his best to ignore her. He really did, but the thought that Robin would think he was upset with her made him feel even worse than he already did. "It's not about you if that's what you want to know."

"I won't push you, Steve."

"Something's wrong with me."

"I could have told you that."

"Fuck off..." he tried to fight the smile like he had tried to ignore Robin. He failed at both.

"There he is," Robin smiled too, turning to lean back on the counter as she crossed her arms. "Long night?"