Follow the light《Yizhan version》

《Chapter 13: Assassin or Princess . . . ?》

"Here's a real question: How have you survived this long when you're so violently self-destructive . . . ?" 

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Lily's POV 

"I may hope they have no idea what your real identity is Lily, or do I need to call you Xia'er?" I smiled at Jiyang, motioning for him to sit down, and he did like an obedient puppy. 

"I don't care what you call me, but the little Xia'er the world once used to know died that night with her parents," Jiyang's eyes were unreadable like always, he was one of the most intellectual people I had met in this lifetime. 

"I know you are not that little princess anymore Xia'er, but she still lives inside you, there," he pointed at the place where my so supposed heart would be before continuing, "and sometimes she crawls out of the darkness, and once in a lifetime, someone catches her in your eyes, wanting to be freed, and I know you changed, of course, I do understand that when you were younger, you would even cry when you saw a dead ant, but even then, you changed so much. I always kept the hope you were still the little girl, but I realized the moment when you cut your hair to break the stereotypical image that she had long ago faded and might still be fading bit by bit . . .'' I sighed while crossing my arms, shaking my head slowly. 

"Jiyang, there goes no night by in which I don't get those damned nightmares in which I am younger, me walking tiptoeing towards my parent's room, the window that was open with the rain falling down from heaven like pouring tears, and I know something was very wrong, I should have known that that wet feeling wasn't rain, but I was stupid and young, I am sorry to tell you, but indeed, that little girl died that very same night with her parents. And even if I would return, I don't wanna take the responsibilities of a crown that isn't mine anymore," Jiyang bit his lower lip till it almost started bleeding while I kept looking at him, our eyes no moment letting go of each other. 

"But if you don't take-" 

"They have survived it so long without me, Jiyang, why would they even want me? A princess without a title? I am not the girl I was, I am an assassin Jiyang, an assassin who can not be a queen!" I sighed frustratedly, ruffling a hand through my hair while closing my eyes. 

"If you would get the chance to change things, would you do it?" I opened my eyes, groaning while shaking my head in disbelief before answering, "I am sorry to say Jiyang, but I don't believe in fairytales anymore, of course, I don't," I threw my hands in the air in defeat, "my parents were killed in cold blood, and now you're asking me to take over their position while I am a damned assassin! Are you out of your mind?" 

"I am not, and I still do believe in fairytales indeed Xia'er, because it was you who told me miracles exist and always to believe in it!" For the first time, I saw emotion flickering through the facade Jiyang held up, but I shook my head. 

"Jiyang, you still don't get it, do you? I am a prisoner, but how do you make sure a prisoner doesn't escape?" This was one of the things I had always reminded Jiyang of when we were younger, and I saw how he became paler. 

"What . . . ?" 

"Jiyang sweetie," I folded my hands to put my chin on them with a sly smile, "I did not choose to be an assassin, but if you thought that it was an 'accident' like the news announced, you're wrong, do you think it's possible for all of our parents to die in the very same month, all under 'weird' circumstances that were turned into suicide and stuff?" I stared at him while Jiyang averted my gaze. 

"You weren't like this, what made you like this, Xia'er?" I snorted at his words. 

"How many times do I still need to explain that that little girl died? The Xia'er you knew died that very same night with her parents, I changed, not even because I like it, but sometimes we need to adjust to survive," I suppressed the upcoming memories filled with pain, the sticky feeling of what I assumed was rain on my body . . . 

"Then what is it that you want, why are you here, Lily?" He sneered my name with much hate, and I totally understood his tone, yet I wished he accepted. 

"Jiyang, you know why I chose to use the name Lily Moon to hide myself under?" He sighed while keeping quiet, and I took it as an initiative to continue, "lilies are the flower of pure innocence yet the flowers also stand for death, I chose Moon because the moon is beautiful, maybe because it's far away, sometimes we can't see some scars from far away, yet the pain is there . . ." 

"You're dodging my question," I smiled softly, he was indeed smart and didn't buy my tricks, he didn't change much, still the very same dreamy boy, it seemed like the outside world wasn't able to break that what bends. 

"Why am I here? Of course, because I want to, did you really think they caught me Jiyang?" He groaned at the nickname, and I smiled, "I came here because I've some unfinished business with one of the agents-" Before I was able to finish Jiyang cut my words. 

"That's gonna be your dead, Xia'er!" 

"I know, but even then it will be worth it because I'll be seeking justice for all of our families, I am ready to die for it, Jiyang, I love you, as much as I love Tracer, Qihe and Eliwa, and only because of my bloodline your families died, it's the least I can-" 

"Xia'er, you were six, you were so young and couldn't know what was happening, you don't need to do this, please, there's still a way back . . ." I smiled wryly before speaking out my thoughts. 

"I know that there is a way back, there always is, but Jiyang, I don't wanna continue living with the question 'what if', I prefer to say 'oops', so let me walk this path alone, you all don't need to be involved," Jiyang smiled, and I raised an eyebrow. 

"Xia'er, do you expect anyone to let you do it all alone if it was so, no one would have become an assassin for you, and I wouldn't be here, you do realize that, huh," I blinked, once, twice and thrice, letting the words sink in as if he had thrown a stone into a large river with no end. 

"Xia'er, it doesn't matter to them whether you are Xia'er, the princess, or Lily the assassin, to them you are you, and they love you the way you are, even though people seem to call you cruel and arrogant. We the small circle of the family know you keep up that hateful image to save our ass, and we love you," we both ended up in a light huckle when the door behind Jiyang opened, and my target for whom I came all the end and even let myself be locked up stepped inside . . . 

Word count: 1259 words