Follow the light《Yizhan version》

《Chapter 16: Eliwa's past》

"Resistance . . . Because if we fight we might lose, but if we don't fight, we've already lost . . ." 

*** 

It was dark, maybe it was early in the morning, the moment when the sun hadn't set up yet, or it was late at night when the sun had already gone down, but it didn't matter, it was dark. 

The eyes of the young girl were closed while she listened to the thumping of her own racing heartbeat inside her ears, the feeling of something or in other words, someone watching her grew with the seconds while the little girl slowly slid down the bed, her feet touching the bare cold wood of the ground. 

A slight shiver went down her spine when the cold winter air went through her thin nightdress, and she quickly fished a cloak to put over me, it was made of high quality, and she embraced herself with the warmth it gave while walking towards the door, ready to open it when she heard some sort of unknown rustling followed by a high-pitched scream; it was her mothers scream. 

Even though her mother would only scream when seeing insects, this got compared to her voice, but octaves higher, she was shouting in angst, and the young girl stopped in her tracks, frozen down in place, not knowing what to do, when her mom's voice died away into the silence. 

That scream had pierced through her memories, like a knife cutting through her soul when a tear slid down her face, a small but visible tear slid down the porcelain face of the scared girl, and before she knew what happened, she heard it. 

Light footsteps, came her way, and she didn't know what to do, of course, she didn't know, the girl was just a simple six years old kid whose family worked for the queen and the king, the young girl was educated, read books, was smart and quirky, but in the end, she was six and scared. 

The footsteps became louder with the second just like the breath of the girl when her feet had already moved backwards, she hit the wall, before she heard the unfamiliar sound behind her, coming from her window, and she turned around to look down. 

Two shadows were standing there, familiar shaping, but she couldn't recognize them, they seemed to make signs to her, trying to say something, and the young girl quickly glanced behind her, the footsteps had stopped, but she heard a deep breath from the other side of the door while she heard some noise of stuff happening outside there, and she quickly turned back to the window. 

The two dark figures were still standing, motioning for her to jump, but the girl was scared, after all, she was so much except confident, and while the people down there kept trying to make her jump, she kept shaking her head like a chant. 

"Eliwa, I know you are scared, we all are, but do you want to die with our parents? If we survive, we can get them justice, trust me." It was the voice of her best friend, Qihe, and from that moment she knew who the other figure was that was smiling softly at her from down the place, even though the moonlight was dimmed she knew Lily was smiling through her tears, she always was, and the young girl knew she trusted Lily. 

The door clink was slowly going down while the young girl glanced down, it was a bit high, but she knew that if she would jump the garden would catch her fall, she took a deep breath and climbed on the window frame. 

The door opened, the girl turned her head, two huge men were standing there, holding a bloodied knife, and both the young girl's eyes and the two men's eyes widened, and before any of the two men could stop the girl, she jumped. 

The cold night air embraced her . . . 

*** 

Eliwa's POV 

I shot up with sweat dripping over my forehead, and I felt something wet running over my face when I felt a soft hand softly squeezing mine, I took a breath before turning my head to meet Qihe's galaxy-deep eyes that assured me everything was okay. 

Fear rushed through my veins while Qihe gave me a small smile, he had taken the place Lily always was for, they knew I suffered from those nightmares, we all did, it was usual, but it was always Lily reassuring me, and now she wasn't here, it still felt weird. 

I couldn't let everything sink in, so I leaned forwards and caught Qihe's warm muscular body into a hug with fresh tears mixing over the old ones, I had no idea how late it was, but the room was dark, but it was maybe because we had dark curtains to keep out all the light, I had no light or flame left inside me, not after Lily left. 

Qihe slowly rubbed small rounds on my back, calming me down while my breath kept hitching, while I buried my face into his crook, he kept assuring me it would be okay while softly humming a song that I remembered the queen always humming to us when we were staying over at Lily's place. 

To realize Lily was a princess who got assassinated from her life and ended up being an assassin herself was unimaginable, but she was the one saving us, and she had told us all that killing those who killed our parents wouldn't make us better. 

It indeed was not, it didn't give me any feeling of justice, but I knew that it was better since they had done more than just killing our parents and getting away with it, so much more . . . 

"We all miss her, Eliwa, I once told Lily that she was my- our better half, but she had smiled with a headshake, saying that that wasn't true, Lily told me that she was darkness, Lily was like the Moon; her last name, she seemed beautiful, but once you came closer you would see the scars of loneliness, sometimes, Lily said, something only looks beautiful because it's far away." 

I nodded listening to my slowly stable breath that matched Qihe's before speaking up, "it seemed like one puzzling maze, and we almost had the last piece, almost, we would get the puzzle solved, but what would happen after that? We had spent our whole lives hunting them down for justice, we were unlike normal kids, but what were we going to do if this all ends? 

Because at the end of the day, who are we? 

Assassins? Orphans? Thieves? Humans? 

And only now I realized for the first time in years that I wasn't scared for the killing part, but the piece of letting go of our mission after it is completed . . . 

Would I still be Eliwa at that moment, the well-known queen of thieves? Or would I be Xing'er, the little girl who heard her own parents getting assassinated while doing nothing? Or would I be a nobody since I am nowhere registered? Qihe, tell me, who am I?" Tears were trickling their way down, one by one, finding their way . . . 

And I got an answer that I did not expect, "at the end of the day, to me you would still be Eliwa or Xing'er, a name won't change who you are because to me you're you, and you will always be Eliwa, you should never doubt yourself, you're beautiful with all the scars that made you human. You, I, Lily, Tracer, we are what makes humans scared, yet we are what makes humanity human, we made ourselves the villain, the monster to save them from becoming one. In the end, to me you will always be you, after all, like Lily always said, beauty will fade, but kindness won't . . .'' I was crying without notice when I buried my head into his crook, and he held me, in the darkness with my monsters surrounding me, Qihe kept me in a safe embrace as Lily did, but unlike Lily, I knew he was more than just a friend, but was I ready to face my monsters with him? 

Was I ready for the darkness to enter? 

Yes. 

Yes, I was. 

I was Eliwa, the queen of thieves. 

I am Eliwa, the queen of thieves. 

I am Eliwa, and I am me. 

I am Eliwa, and I will always be me . . . 

Word count: 1443 words