Follow the light《Yizhan version》

《Chapter 17: Battle scars》

"So many years of education yet nobody taught us how to love ourselves . . ." 

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Xiao Zhan's POV 

I held my head on my knees while sighing deeply, they weren't treating me awful, but neither was it a place to call home, especially when I see that agent Tracer all the time. 

He had all the features of my di di, yet his attitude was so different, I didn't fully believe that he killed my di di, but maybe this world is indeed so small, and maybe there exists another universe where my di di did not leave me, and I-  

No, we get a happily ever after. 

So many maybe's in my life yet no reality. 

Whenever I would look into Tracer's eyes, I would see traces of my di di inside them, but I couldn't hold back the thought they had the same bracelet, I just couldn't. 

Why was fate playing so cruelly with me? 

I shivered in the thin clothing I wore while I closed my eyes, slowly rocking myself at a soft pace, trying to imagine my di di hugging me while placing a small kiss on my ear like he used to do, and then hearing his melodiously soothing voice whispering into my ear. 

Maybe my di di did indeed die the very same night he disappeared, yet I felt some hope inside me, like a light because my di di was like wildflowers. 

He was the free lively type who smiled unconsciously, no matter what happened, he wasn't like Tracer, he couldn't be, my di di was different. 

My mind was about to daze off again when I heard it; a loud thunder, filling the whole room and the atmosphere. 

I was unconsciously shaking while I heard the rain dropping on the outside without loud thunders following, and flashes, it reminded me of the day my di di disappeared.  

It had the exact same weather, and I always assumed that I would have felt it if something horrible happened to my di di, yet when he disappeared I felt nothing but emptiness filling me, craving for answers that weren't there. 

Almost as if he disappeared from existence, I wasn't even able to remember his name somehow, and my memories with him were fading, his face was always blank, yet his voice was like the one of an angel, soft and soothing as if he was singing a lullaby whenever he talked. 

I kept rocking myself when the door opened, showing a shadow of a person I couldn't see, and immediately I went into defence, feeling something or someone touching me carefully. 

Two warm pairs of arms held on to me while slowly a voice started whispering next to my ear, "it's okay Zhan ge, calm down, I'm here, shh," he kept whispering the words while tears ran down my face, the tears that never came on the so-called funeral of my di di because I didn't want to know he did really pass away without evidence. 

In the beginning, my parents still acted as if they cared and people tried to talk sense into me, but it didn't last long until they were done with the game and just chanted that my di di had died, but never did there pass a second in which I believed them, yet they had planted a seed inside the deepest part of my heart. 

"Shh, it's okay Zhan ge, calm down." I kept listening to the voice while sleepiness started to take over my body, I felt weak and wanted to sleep, I almost wasn't able to keep my eyes open. 

So I forced myself to look, and I looked right into the face of Tracer, the one resembling my di di in many aspects, and now when I listened carefully, their voices sounded so like each other.