Christmas Plans

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Skip ahead to December.

"So I was thinking for Christmas you could come have dinner at my place." my mother says from across the table.
We were at the diner, no she doesn't know I work here, and this was totally unexpected. My mother has been trying to make en effort to talk to me, but it still doesn't settle right with me. But she somehow manages to find me on campus and drag me somewhere to talk. I wipe up my hot chocolate that I spit every where when she told me her idea, and quickly come up with an excuse.
"Um... Ashley said something about visiting family, I think. Im pretty sure" I stutter
"I want to meet her dammit! I want to know what lovely lady gets to be with my daughter."
I roll my eyes. I have told this woman ten thousand times that Ashley is a guy but shes not convinced. I even showed her a photo!
"Mom, Ashley is a guy! I am straight! and I don't think we can do Christmas with you."
She gives me a glare, a glare I'm half tempted to slap off her face.
"You will be at my house on Christmas day young lady, you are my daughter!"
My anger boils over...
"How dare you command me to do anyting! You are lucky I'm even talking to you! Have you forgotten what you have done to me, what you're leaving has caused me! My eye isn't white for no reason! I don't have trouble reading, writing, and walking for no reason! It's you're fault! It's your fault I suffer from depression, it's your fault I was bullied, beaten, almost left for dead in a high school bathroom! It's your fault I have scars apon scars from self-harm! You think I owe you something because you saved me once? What about all those other times huh? I don't owe you shit bitch! You have no right to call yourself my mother. You are not a mother! A mother doesn't leave her children behind! A mother plans and shows up to their childs funeral! You are a sad excuse for a human being! I will NOT be at your house for Christmas, I will NOT introduce you to my boyfriend, and I will NOT talk to you ever again! Rot in hell!"

With that I grab my bag and get up. I storm out of the door and run to campus. I run all the way to my dorm, locking the door, knowing my roommate will have to knock but not caring. I'm breating so fast, tears staining my face. My first instict is to grab the blade, I want to. to only make a few cuts, to release the pain. Right as I'm about too my phone starts to ring that familiar ring.
"Ash!" I cry into the phone
"Baby what's wrong!?!?" panic is evident in his voice
"I just had a fight with my mom, I'm panicing, I want to cut, I need you!" I sob as I throw my razor across the room. I hear it clank on the heating vent under Shay's bed.
"Neva plase calm down sweetie. I will be home in two days. 50 hours from this moment you will be in my arms. I will hold you and not let you go okay. We will spend Christmas with Andy and Juliet, Amy and Chris already said it was okay, and we will be miles from her okay."
As he explains what he has planned my breathing slows just from hearing his voice, I am able to completly calm down. "Okay. See you in 49 hours and 50 minutes."
he laughs, "I love you Neveah."
"Love you too Ashley."

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