almost; dream ✓

three

anna struggled to stay composed on the plane. her mind kept replaying the scenes of clay dropping her off.

he had been quiet all morning, silently helping her get her things together. but once they arrived at the airport is when his panic set in.

"please don't do this anna. i don't want you to go." he was saying with tears streaming down his face.

it had become so real in that moment that she was actually leaving. he was grasping onto every last thread of hope he could get his hands on.

"what am i gonna do?" clay sobbed into anna's shoulder.

"i need you to be okay clay. please." she said, knowing she wasn't offering much comfort. mostly because she didn't know how. how do you comfort someone when you are the reason they hurt?

"now boarding flight 47 to london." the monotone intercom announced.

clay's hands began to shake. he was out of time. he wasn't able to fix things in time.

"i love you so much honey. and i'm gonna be right here. i'm not gonna leave. if you're ready in a week or ten years. i'm gonna be here." clay said in between tears, holding anna's shoulders and making eye contact to ensure that she understood.

anna didn't have the strength to speak because she knew this was all her fault. so she just pulled clay in tight one last time. she rubbed his back before standing on her toes to kiss his cheek. she quickly grabbed her bag and began walking to her terminal before she could make things harder for either of them.

and now she was on her flight, stuck between two strangers who had no idea of the torment happening in her mind, and probably wouldn't care if they did know.

she made the decision that she wanted to fall asleep, because if she was asleep then she could give her mind a break from all of this. she just prayed that her mind wouldn't choose to dream of clay as it often did.

"um, i'm near a big sign that says 'welcome to london' thats blue. its that one we took a picture in front of that time we went to amsterdam. there's also a-" before she could finish her sentence anna heard a shout.

"anna!!"

she turned her head to find the voice and instantly saw her little brother.

"toby!"

all of the hurt of the last few weeks melted away momentarily as her brother enveloped her in a huge hug that she hadn't felt in nearly half a year. she held him tight, feeling relief rush over her as she took in the childhood smell of the laundry detergent that her mom always used.

"i've missed you." toby quietly said.

"i've missed you so much. i'm sorry i haven't come back more." she began to feel guilty.

"stop that right there," he pointed a finger at his older sister. "you are here now and we won't have regrets about anything that has happened between then and now. come on now, mom and dad are ready to see you."

toby grabbed her duffel bag and backpack as she continued rolling her suitcase. anna glanced over his shoulder as he pulled out his phone and opened his texts.

dream(clay)

did she make it okay?

yes she's with me now. you dont
have to worry

"you hungry? it was a long flight, do you want food?" toby asked as they neared the parking lot.

"no, i think i'm just ready to be home." anna replied.