almost; dream ✓

twelve

"go fish" anna attempted to say humbly as she was winning.

after her "episode" as the doctors and her family have lovingly started calling her overdose,  there was some concern with how much her breathing had slowed so they decided to keep her a few more days until she was able to breathe successfully and healthily on her own.

today was day five of being in the hospital, and anna was ready to leave. she was at the point of going insane. she was tired of the ticking of the clock on her wall. she was tired of how uncomfortable the bed gotten. she was tired of the meals they brought her.

but her family and clay had made it bearable. they were sitting it the formation that had become regular practice. her dad sat on the chair, reading. her mum sat on the bench in front of the window that had become a makeshift bed for whoever stayed the night while she typed away on her laptop. toby sat at the feet of the bed and clay was squeezed sitting next to anna while all three played some sort of card game.

"i wanna play something else." toby mumbled.

"only because you keep losing." anna retorted.

"okay, okay. how about we play-" clay was cut off by a knock on the door.

"good evening smith family," dr. owens, anna's assigned doctor, sang as he entered, like he had the last few nights. "so it looks like we will be ready to discharge miss anna first thing in the morning but first we are gonna monitor how she does through the night with no assisted oxygen. we have been very pleased with her improvements today but want to ensure she can make it through a night alright."

"thank you dr. owens." anna replied with a gratitude that she was finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

"of course. and since its nearing midnight we are going to have to have everyone except for your overnight guest go ahead and leave for the night in about 15 minutes."

anna hated this part of every night.

night one her father stayed. night two was her mum. night three she wished that she was still in her coma because her family began making her choose, so she chose her father to stay again. night four she picked toby.

"who do you want staying with you tonight? i think we all have an overnight bag down in the car." her mom said like she did every night. anna knew they all had bags.

anna looked between their faces, knowing it wouldn't upset any of them if they weren't picked. she glanced down at her hands as she shuffled the deck of cards. her right shoulder could feel the warmth of clay's body as it was laying on him.

"um, clay could stay with me tonight. you know, only if you want to." she nervously said as she glanced up at him.

"of course." he whispered with a smile as he he sat up to
help her parents and brother gather all of their belongings.

her family slowly came and gave their goodbyes and goodnights, toby quickly going and retrieving clay's bag from the car.

"we'll be back first thing in the morning and then you get to come home." her mom said as she kissed her forehead.

as they all left, toby quickly poked his head back in the room to say "i know it's been a while but don't do anything tonight. got it?"

"get out." clay said laughing at the boy who had become a little brother to him.

once the door shut, it was just clay and anna in the dimly lit room.

"how are you feeling?" he asked as he slowly started laying out the blankets and pillow for his makeshift bed.

"just tired and ready to leave. i know i don't have to stay in this bed but i feel trapped."

"c'mere then." clay stopped making his bed and went to her bedside.

while it had been a few days, anna still felt very weak. when she needed to use the restroom or was told to walk for a bit, she normally needed help getting up so she didn't lose her balance.

clay pulled back her blanket while she swung her legs to the side of the bed, revealing the sweatpants that had become her comfort item during her stay. he bent over so his shoulder wasn't too tall for her to grab onto for support. one of his hands gently sat on the small of her back while the other held one of hers.

"take a few steps holding onto me to make sure you're stable."

they got to the middle of the room and she felt well enough to let go of her grip on his shoulder, but lingered holding his hand for just a moment.

"now you aren't trapped." clay extended out his arms to gesture to her surroundings.

"what do i do now?" anna laughed as she watched him look around the room for an idea.

"we can dance."

"you know i don't dance."

"i know you don't, that's why i said we."

he grabbed his phone off of her nightstand, and began searching for a song. he played champagne problems by taylor swift, knowing it was one of anna's favorites.

"may i?" he extended his hand for anna to grab.

"i guess." she drew out but it was obvious she was a bit giddy in this moment.

one of her hands held his while the other sat on his shoulder, and his other hand sat on her hip. they softly swayed and clay was thankful they were so close because he could hear her humming.

"this song is kind of sad now that i'm really listening to the lyrics." clay commented quietly.

"you don't have to listen to them." anna laid her head on his chest. she hoped he took her advice or else she was worried he would relate the song to their situation.

as the song ended anna couldn't help but let out a long yawn as sleep took over her wants.

"why don't you lay back down and try and sleep." clay said so gently that all anna could do is nod.

once he had her back in the hospital bed and completely covered by the blankets, he turned off the lamp in the corner. the moon shining through the window provided enough illumination for her to see him pulling back the blankets on the bench. as he laid down a smile crept onto her face as she noticed he was pulling his knees to his chest because he was too tall for the small bed, but he didn't complain because he was with his anna.

"clay?"

"yeah, honey?"

"think you could sleep over here?" he leaned up to look at anna, even though he couldn't see her as well as she could see him.

"yeah, i can do that."

clay was so careful as he squeezed next to anna when she scooted over. he gave her a glance asking for permission, she nodded knowing what he meant. she lifted her head for him to slide his arm under. anna instantly exhaled in relief in the feeling of being so close to clay. her mind was so conflicted. how could she still not know what place she wants clay to hold in her life but long for the opportunity to be near him.

"i've missed having you so close."

anna glanced up to see clay's eyes were closed, either trying to sleep or enjoy the moment.

"this is the first night since i left that i don't have to use a noise machine to sleep." anna said quietly.

"why?" clay was confused.

"i didn't realize how quiet it is without you breathing next to me so i had to fill the silence."

clay didn't say anything because he didn't need to. he said held her a little tighter.