Everything That's Precious

Chapter One: My Mother and Baked Mac & Cheese

1 month, 2 weeks pregnant

There's only one thing scarier than finding out you're pregnant at seventeen. And that one thing could be the deciding factor of how you go about the next 9 months of your life. There's only one thing scarier: telling your mother you're pregnant at seventeen.

My mom and I are extremely close. She had me when she was twenty-one and she's pretty much raised my siblings and I by herself since. She had my older sister at eighteen, so she's always been overly protective.  She's also extremely adamant about us not ending up the way she did: barely out of high school and pregnant.

Well, it turns out that I'm not exactly like my mother. She made it out of high school before she got pregnant. I didn't. That makes telling her even harder.

My mom was meant to be a mother, just like I believe I am, too. She's a power house, that woman. Although she was dealt one of the crappiest cards of life possible, she came through strong and with four beautiful children to prove it.

I have three siblings. My older sister, Devon, is nineteen. She's tall, blonde, brown-eyed, and beautiful. Devon and I have different fathers. Devon's father, James, is still in her life and a big part of the adult she's becoming. My older sister and I are polar opposites, but she's one of my best friends and I'd trust her with anything. Besides my best friend, Jenna, she's the only person who knows I'm pregnant.

My younger brothers, on the other hand, are gruntier than a grunt can get (at least they act like such). One from my father, the other from my mothers ex-fiancé, Matt.

My oldest younger brother (if that makes any sense) is ten. Travis is funny, annoying, and a pain in the behind, but I love him more than life itself. Travis looks just like our father: thin, dark brown hair, wide forehead, and long skinny legs. However, he has our mother's chocolate brown eyes. Since we have the same father, we also have a bond unlike any of our siblings. Our father, Aaron, was with our mom for ten years. Extremely abusive and entirely too stupid, he's been in and out of jail my whole life. When Travis was little, my mother finally found the courage and strength to leave him. We haven't seen much of him since.

Two years later, Mom met Matt and they had my youngest younger brother, Johnny, a year later. Johnny is six now and is utterly adorable. Although he has a little miniature Matt face, his thick curly caramel hair and big chocolate brown eyes are sweet enough to melt anyone's heart. Since he's extremely smart for six-year-old, he's managed to skip a grade and make all three of his older siblings look bad. I know it's kind of wrong to say, but mom has always played favorites with Johnny since he was born. She spoils him constantly, gives him everything he wants. Maybe it's because Matt left, too; decided to dedicate his life to popping pills than raising his son. Part of me believes Mom thinks she has to prove something. To who, I don't know - it may even be to herself- but I am convinced she spoils Johnny so much because she doesn't want him to turn out sour.

And finally, there's me; my mother's princess, Sophia Natalia McKenna. My life began in a tizzy, so I guess it would make sense that I've been hit with such bad luck. Seventeen long years ago, I was born into a stressful atmosphere: my grandmother wanted my mom to put me up for adoption, my father was in jail, my mother was beyond depressed. Maybe my stressful welcome into this world is what made me such a screw up, but then that would be putting the blame of my mistakes on my mother, Anna. That's something I will never do. My mistakes are mine and mine alone, not my mother's.

And all of that brings us to why I'm so scared about telling her I'm pregnant. All my life I tried to be the best I can be for my mom. I've always made sure I got good grades in school and helped out as much as possible. All I've ever wanted was for her to be proud of me, and even though she tells me all the time that she is, I still feel as though I let her down all the time. Now having to tell her I'm having a baby will break her apart, and that's something I'm not so sure I can handle.