Flawed (s.m.)

006.

 Shawn and I had decided to pop in the DVD version of Tangled, but we only made it about halfway through the movie until we began to get antsy. All I really wanted to do was talk to him. It had been quite some time since I just sat down and talked with anybody, and anybody even includes Mikayla and Sofi. I just needed to gush everything to someone and have a nice conversation. He seemed happy to oblige as his attention was diverted from the movie and then directed towards me. Currently, my denim-clad legs were lazily thrown across his lap while my back rested against the comfortable material of the sofa. My neck was craned so that I could look at him as we spoke about everything we could possibly speak about.

 "I have a question," I suddenly piped up, sitting forward a little bit. Holding his eye contact with me, Shawn's expression contorted into one of curiosity.

 "Yeah? And what's that?" he asked in return. I folded my hands in my lap and began to twiddle my thumbs as I tried to come up with the correct wording for my upcoming sentence, looking up towards the ceiling. When I finally made a choice, I looked back over at him, taking in a sharp breath. I really didn't want to make this awkward by making him spill the details that I desperately wanted to know.

 "Um.. what's the story with you and Nash and that whole crowd? I remember you talking to him the night you drugged me, and he mentioned that they don't hang out with you anymore. Why?" I interrogated, creases appearing on my forehead. Now it was his turn to take a deep breath. His arms dropped from their previous position across his chest to rest against my legs. "It's complicated," he answered, his teeth latching onto his lower lip for a brief moment while he stared off into space. It was hard to tell if he was reminiscing or just plain remembering, but I could tell he was thinking really hard about it. "Well, I mean, it's not really complicated, per se, it's just.." he stopped himself before groaning in frustration. "Ugh."

 "It's okay. You don't have to tell me. I was just wondering," I said, feeling the vibe that he didn't really want to go into the details.

 "No, um, sorry. It's fine. I can tell you," he replied reassuringly. My full attention was turned to him as he began to speak. "So, during my freshman year, I had some classes with Nash, right? I knew he was one of the 'populars' or whatever you want to call them, so he kinda intimidated me at first and I just kept my distance because, y'know.." he started to explain, glancing at me to make sure I was paying attention. He had nothing to worry about though, because I was fully engaged in his story. Something about the way he talked reeled me in. It was almost impossible not to listen to the kid. He let out a sigh before continuing.

 "Then I started helping him out with homework and stuff because I was this stupid freshman who just wanted to fit in and blah blah blah. I did some assignments for him and stuff like that, and we hung out a few times. No big deal. Then, we started going to parties and all these different things and I guess I kinda started figuring out that he was seriously a douche. Like, Kanye-level douche." I laughed a little at his reference before he carried on. "He literally treated people like they were toys just to mess around with and I couldn't stand that. I sorta started drifting away from the group and started hanging out with this kid Matt. Nash would get super pissed. It was almost like he was possessive." Shawn paused, his tongue quickly peaking out from his mouth to wet his lips. "So, one day, I was gonna go longboard with Matt and we were meeting up after school, and I had cancelled going to the mall with Nash or some shit like that. When I went to meet Matt by the flagpole outside of school, Nash and Nate and Cameron and all of them were there. I thought they were just gonna give me crap about bailing and then maybe invite him to the mall instead, but then I saw that Nash was just whaling on Matt. And then when Matt started holding his own, Cam and Nate held him back." His breathing hitched as he seemed to remember something. He looked up at me with concerned eyes.

 "You don't have to go on if you d—""No, it's okay. Really," he assured, offering me a weak smile. 

 "So like, clearly, I went over to them and tried to break it up. And then when they didn't, I just.. kind of.. blacked out. I was so fed up with Nash and his bullshit that I got that mad. And I still don't remember all of the specifics, but I did some serious damage. Nash ended up in the hospital with a broken nose and some bruised ribs. And yeah, that's it. That's why they hate me." He stopped talking, looking down at his hands with a clear expression of disappointment. 

 "What's wrong?" I asked, gently nudging his shoulder. I didn't see what was so wrong with this; Shawn had been standing up for a friend, and judging by these details, he did a pretty damn good job.

 "I just.. don't really like to think about it. I don't like that I can hurt someone like that," he confessed, making my heart shatter into about a million pieces. It baffled me that he was such a genuine, good guy. Most dudes his age would be so proud that they managed to kick the asses of three jocks. "And, um.. maybe I.. maybe I thought I'd uh, scare you away or something," he added. Now, instead of shattering, my heart was melting. Why did he care, anyway? I smiled slightly at him, moving a bit closer to him.

 "Luckily for you, I don't scare too easily," I affirmed. He smiled back at me, but soon his face fell again.

 "When I saw what they were trying to do to you, I thought I was gonna lose it again. That's just so disgusting and unjustifiable and I can't even picture why they would tr—" I cut him off by softly planting a kiss on his cheek. This time, it was a genuine, cheesy kiss on the cheek. It wasn't to impress anyone and it wasn't to scare anyone off. This kiss was a sincere gesture that sprouted from the bottom of my heart, and it was rare that I showed anyone that side of me. Shawn was just such a sweet guy and I wanted him to know that not only did I appreciate what he did for me at that party, but I just appreciated him in general, too.

 So, when he asked, "What was that for?", I found it to be an easy question to answer. 

 "I just.. wanted to say thank you for putting up with me, I guess," I responded casually, giving a slight shrug. He nodded, his face turning the slightest shade of red as he tried to hide a smile. "Hey, you wanna do something?" I changed the subject.

 "Hm? Like what?" He looked at me again.

 "Go to a party," I replied. The expression on his face communicated that he wasn't the biggest fan of the idea. And judging by his story, he never really had fun at any parties. That's just because he hadn't been to a party with me.

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A/N: Sorry this chapter is so short! I just felt like I had to answer at least some of your questions!

But don't worry, there may or may not be another chapter coming out tonight..