Flawed (s.m.)

016.

  It seemed as if the weekend would never actually roll around. Avoiding Shawn made the school day so much less enjoyable and bland, causing the week to drone on for what very well could've been an eternity. The guilt remained cemented in the pit of my stomach; it was a constant reminder of how absolutely shitty I was. He deserved answers, but I was too selfish to give them to him. I wanted him to treat me like the normal, crazy Audrey I was instead of like a vulnerable girl with a limited amount of days left before she kicked the bucket. I knew now that no matter what, being treated like regular Audrey would not be an option. Regular Audrey doesn't have a terminal illness, and she doesn't lie to people she cares for about having said illness. Now, I was an Audrey that I didn't like- she felt trapped by her wild emotions. I hated myself for deceiving Shawn, and I had no idea how he'll see me after he's exposed to the truth of my misfortune.

  By the grace of God, however, it was finally Saturday. Mother was out of town at one of those pretentious law conferences she could never seem to pass up, and I was left with a monumental list of chores to do. For once in my life, it didn't seem like such a hassle. I was grateful to have an excuse to be stuck in the house so that I didn't have to face Shawn and I could be left alone to ponder how I should attempt to fix this whole mess. However, I was saving that last part for later as I pointlessly mopped the already-shiny floor of the kitchen, blasting a new song that the Jacks had recently allowed me to download.

  Those two were always messing around in the studio, and as of now, they're working on an EP in hopes that it will take them even greater places. Simply being social media stars wasn't enough for them, which I totally supported, because this new track they sent to me recently would be what some would consider "fire". It was a song called "Shallow Love", and I absolutely could not get it out of my head. The best remedy for that, at least in my opinion, was to dance around the house like an idiot and sing it at the top of my lungs as it blasted from my stereo. Who said that chores couldn't be fun?

  "Whatcha in it for, girl?" I practically shouted over the song, showing off my best impression of Johnson to absolutely no one at all. "I don't even fuckin' know..." I responded to myself, imitating Gilinsky this time, then laughing just as Johnson does to close off the song. Just as I was thinking about how awesome it was that they could make me feel better even when they weren't here to crack stupid jokes, I was startled by the sound of clapping. It started off slow and somewhat soft, but then grew louder and harsher as people started clapping more and more frantically by the second. After nearly jumping out of my skin, I pivoted around to see my four best friends laughing at me, still clapping. The initial embarrassment quickly faded as I curtsied before them.

  "Who ever knew that you were such a performer, Auds?" Johnson teased. I gave an exaggerated shrug.

  "Well, what can I say? I'm a girl of many talents, it's just that the most prevalent one is hitting multiple keggers before curfew." They all chuckled, Gilinsky taking a couple steps forward.

  "Seriously, girl, you nailed that bridge," he joked, grabbing the mop out of my hand and mimicking my booty popping. My hand came in contact with his shoulder, and the mop dropped to the floor with a smack.

  "Shut up. How the hell did you get in here, anyway?" I leaned my elbow against the kitchen table to rest my side against the hard mahogany.

  "You act like we haven't known you our whole lives, damn. We know about the key you keep under the tree on your porch. Duh," Sofi explained, and I nodded with understanding. I always forgot about that god forsaken key. Walking over to the living room, I glanced over my shoulder at my group of friends who were following in close suit behind me.

  "So, what brings your lovely faces to my humble abode?" I inquired with a slightly dorky tone, earning a few muted chuckles from the group. Despite the fact that I wanted to be alone for a while to sort out my thoughts, I did genuinely miss my friends. They made me forget about all the craziness that was going on when they were around. But now, suddenly, they were eerily quiet. A suspicious feeling slowly began to mush together with the guilt that was stuck inside of me. Mikayla hid her face in her hands, not daring to look at me with her giant blue eyes. Oh, this should be just fantastic.