Flawed (s.m.)

017.

  I could make out the distinct sound of Gilinsky's car starting up as I sat with my back against the door, reminding myself of how I sat in this very position just the other day. I banged the back of my head against the wood, immediately regretting the gesture as soon as my already-painful headache worsened. In this moment, I could cry. But I knew that I'd been doing too much of that lately. I was Audrey Landenna, and no matter the circumstances, Audrey Landenna was a strong human being. I'm going to get through this, I thought to myself, and I debated saying it out loud, too, just so I could maybe actually convince myself of that. Never in my life had I felt more betrayed by my friends, and I'd never thought of myself as selfish until this very moment. I couldn't shake the thought that Sofi was absolutely right about that.

  I twitched away from the door after a knocking sound boomed from the other side of it, completely catching me off guard. I sighed dreadfully, wanting nothing more than whoever was standing outside in the scorching heat to turn the hell around and not come back. Conjuring up the willpower to look out the window, I slightly pulled back the satin that covered the glass on the side of the door. I halfway expected it to be Kenny, and I thought of how miraculously perfect it would be for him to be able to witness two of my breakdowns in a row. I recognized the tattered black converse immediately. Taking a giant gulp, I hastily hid myself behind the door once again. He kept knocking.

  "Audrey, I saw you..." Shawn declared. I groaned, just audibly enough for him to be able to hear from outside. I felt the door budge behind me, and I cursed myself for being too distracted with my teenage angst bullshit to actually lock the door. I still didn't move. "Hi, beautiful," he spoke softly. I continued to stare straight ahead, struggling to find the words to say to him. He kept moving the door, inch by inch, moving me along the hard floor. After I heard the click of the lock, I could feel the warmth of his body next to me as he made himself comfortable. Many moments of silence passed by, and I was still incapable of deciding on the perfect thing to say.

  "I understand if you don't want to talk to me anymore," I mumbled, still not daring to look at him.

  "So, it's true, then?" was his initial response. He let out a sigh, and I knew that it was because he was disappointed. I didn't reply. I just kept staring straight ahead. His hand softly placed itself on top of mine, intertwining my fingers with his. "You should've told me, y'know." I bit down on my lip to keep it from quivering as tears began to prick at my eyes yet again. Don't cry, Audrey, don't cry. I took deep breaths in from my nose, not watching as Shawn brought my knuckles up to his plump lips. I leaned into him a little bit to reassure him that I appreciated his comfort. I was just truly at a loss for words. He rested his cheek against the top of my head, and I closed my eyes, feeling relaxed as we breathed in sync.

  "I'm sorry," I finally whispered.

  "Me, too," he replied, making my eyebrows knit together with confusion. I fully expected him to get up, walk out the door, and leave me here to regret not telling him sooner, but instead, he squeezed my hand. "I'm really sorry that you actually thought I was going to stop being here for you." My head snapped up to look into his chocolate brown eyes that were filled with nothing but understanding. "If you want things to keep going on like nothing is happening, then that's okay. I'm still going to treat you like the Audrey I met just a few weeks ago." I smiled up at him, feeling the gentle tickle of a tear making its way down my cheek. He brought his free hand up to my face to wipe it away with his thumb.

  "Thank you," I said quietly, leaning my forehead against his. He placed a chaste peck on my lips, leaving me to interpret it as "you're welcome." I propped myself up on my knees, tossing one leg over to meet the floor on the other side of his waist. My hands rested on his shoulders, making him smile as he looked up at me.

  "So, what's on the agenda for today?" he questioned, his hands moving up to rub my sides. I chewed on my lower lip in a sad attempt to keep myself from grinning anymore. I took one hand from his shoulder and reached into the pocket of my sweatpants, unveiling the lengthy list of to-do's my mom so generously left for me. His eyebrows raised at the sight.

  "Well, these chores aren't gonna do themselves," I stated. He nodded, pressing his lips together in a firm line.

  "We better get moving, then," he remarked before standing up and bringing me with him. My legs latched around his waist as he walked me into the kitchen. Sitting me on the table, he took the list from my hands to determine what's been done and what needed to be done. "So, what's first? Dusting the cabinets or cleaning the china?" he smirked.

--

  I woke up to the sound of the front door closing, jumping to sit upright on the couch. Shawn was still sound asleep, his long legs taking up the majority of the space. We must've fallen asleep when we paused cleaning to take a "short" break. I smiled down at him, but my face fell at the sound of my mother's voice.

  "Audrey Ann!" she shouted, causing Shawn's eyes to flutter open. "What did I tell you about getting this house done? Have you real--" I cut her off.

  "Mom, really? Keep in mind that you came home a whole day early," I snapped, and immediately after I started praying to all existing religious forces that she didn't march over here and slap me upside again. Luckily, her body language relaxed as Shawn sat up, looking at me with worry.

  "Oh, I um.." she began. "I didn't realize you had company. Hello, Shawn." Her heels clicked against the floor as she made her way into the kitchen, setting her purse down on the counter.

  "Hi, Mrs. Landenna," he replied, offering my mom a friendly wave. I rolled my eyes, wondering why mom let me off the hook as long as Shawn was involved. It was actually beginning to freak me out. Sure, he was definitely what a mom would consider to be a good influence.

  "I was just about to get dinner started," my mom announced. Oh no. No. This couldn't be happening. "Would you like to join us?" Shawn smiled.

  "Of course I would. Just let me tell my mom real quick."

  It was happening.  

--

A/N: this chapter is a tiny bit shorter, sorry for that! she finally talked to shawn though, which is A+.

thank you all for the good feedback! new chapter ASAP.

ALSO i'm starting a songfic based on "Force of Nature" by Bea Miller and I have a lot of other stuff coming out too ahhhhh