Tactless Temerity

03

Josephine

"Doctor Aragon." I acknowledged as I opened the door of my condo wider to let him in.

Alam kong masyado akong mapaghangad ngayon, na kakayanin ko ang makasama ulit siya ng malapitan, nang walang masyadong tao at mapakisamahan ng sibilisado pero gagawin ko.

I cannot forever be in hiding and in fear of seeing him or him again and why not start with the root of all my woes and face the vilest mine alive name Clifford?

He was unmoving and if anything, he looked relieved after I spoke. Siguro ay dahil hindi ko siya itinaboy. Titig na titig siya sa akin at kahit hindi ko inaasahan ang pagdating niya ngayon ay alam kong maayos naman ang istura ko at nakatago ang lahat ng nakakahiyang kailangang itago.

At bakit ko pala ikakahiya pagdating sa kayna? Dapat siguro ay makita niya? Para tumigil na siya?

Alam kong protektado rin ako ng accords at kung balak muli akong i-pain ng ahas na ito ay alam kong hindi niya na magagawa dahil nasa ilalim ako ng proteksiyon ni Dustan.

Dustan swore on his grandfather's grave, well Carmen forced him to, but it counted, he swore to behead this despicable human being if ever he tried to hurt or make a pawn out of me again.

"I have to be in Bohol this afternoon for a meeting, so it would be convenient if you tell me why you are here. If you need to sit down and gather your thoughts and if you need me for something, Doctor Aragon, I suggest you speak to my Keeper, Left Eye, so that she can add it up my schedule."

"Josie..." He whispered and I had to stop myself from closing my eyes and just let my tears fall.

Isang kataga lang ng pangalan ko ay ramdam na ramdam ko ang pangungulila sa boses niya. Pero para saan? Sadyang napakagaling yata talaga ng ahas na ito sa pagkukunwari. He should be an actor, tiyak na mananalo siya ng maraming award.

Surprisingly, I still felt in control of the situation kaya pilit kong itinatatak sa isipan na nasa pareho na kaming kinatatayuan ngayon at marami na akong natutunan kay Rory, Carmen Ate Sidd at Felix kaya dapat lang ay i-apply ko na ito sa sarili ko, at lalong lalo na sa mga ahas na katulad ng nasa harapan ko.

I needed to match this venomous snake and if I can, be more lethal than him in pretending.

"Clifford." I uttered, a lump in my throat formed and I wanted to vomit speaking his name again.

"Fuck, Josie..." Napaatras siyang nakatitig pa rin sa mga mata ko.

Nagulat yata at wala siyang makitang kung ano mang emosyon o bakas ng kaluluwa ko kung 'yun man ang strategy niya sa kung ano mang balak niya na naman sa akin.

Hindi pa ba siya tapos?

Maswerte nga siya at wala akong balak na balikan, gantihan at parusahan siya ng katotohanan ng kapalit ng ginawa niya sa akin.

I was also not stupid to not think that he had feelings for me, of course he did, every illusion had a bit of truth to it so I knew that he cared. But it wasn't enough to choose me then, and it will never be enough now to make what happened...unhappen.

"Time is of the essence, Doctor." I cut whatever charade of believable reverie he was in.

Napahilamos siya ng mukha bago umiling ng maraming beses.

"Josie...I...." He snapped his gaze at me, full of spite, but surprisingly not for me. "I'm sorry. Pinapangako kong aayusin ko ang lahat...I might be late, pero aayusin ko." Desperation was also evident in his voice, a first. Palagi na lang kasi siyang humihingi ng tawad, na sa totoo lang ay nakakairindi na. "Tell me his name."