Tactless Temerity

15

Josephine

I had never felt so out of place the second I stepped inside the wooden halls of Sigurd's massive longhouse. There were so many...people. I think the whole village was present and even as it was, I would still stick out like a sore thumb dahil sa suot ko. They were all in dresses and suits habang ako ay naka maroon na hooded windbreaker, navy jeans at uggs lang. At wala akong bahid ng make up dahil wala akong ibang nasa isip kundi makasama si Sigurd. I was not even wearing my contacts, just a thick pair of wayfarer shades.

The urge to retreat was strong at hindi ko maiwasang mapaisip kung tama ba ang ginagawa ko. For all I know, Sigurd was just like Clifford...maybe much visceral and maybe he was done using me...shit. Shit. I hated that I was having these thoughts.

Had I been wrong all along? Should I not have followed my instincts and ran after him? And did he even ran away? Nope, he didn't run away either. Masyado lang akong melodramatic at cynical.

I sighed heavily then took a step back, then I went outside where the cold greeted me again. Napakaliwanag pa. May mga Keepers akong nakitang naglilibot, I could even see a group of them assembling from afar and to my right, there was an open longhouse where there were actual blacksmiths and I was sure that they were wielding metals.

Napangiti ako ng wala sa sarili. I admired how they preserved such tradition at itong ito na nakikita ko ang laman ng mga kwento ni Sigurd. God...I could feel my nerves hyperventilating at my present predicament. So he was not lying? Ang hirap ng ganitong pag-iisip. At napakalamig pa. I clasped my hands and rubbed them together to create friction, wala rin akong gloves and I did not even think to bring one. I had never been to this part of the world.

"Hallo..?" Someone called out kaya nilingon ko ang pinaggalingan ng boses.

"Hi." I answered awkwardly at the smiling lady with a cane. I felt at ease when I saw her wearing house clothes, in which I confirmed that my emotions were not just on its extremes, but it was quite passive aggressive.

"You're the shield maiden." She stated with wonder and awe. "Come, pasok,." She took hurried steps towards me at una kong naisip ang mga paa niya, kaya nataranta ako at tinakbo ang distansiya namin.

Her last word made me do a double take.

"Nagtatagalog po kayo. And you called me shield maiden. Do you work for Sigurd?"

She gave me a hearty laugh and I had to hold my chest when longing enveloped my being because she looked at me fondly. I don't know why I suddenly missed my mother and the lady had this aura...that I wanted to just hug her and make her tell me that it was all going to be okay.

"Not as good as my daughters pero subok. Nagsusubok ako."

Mas napatanga ako. I was unable to move a muscle, embarrassed upon recognition.

"You're Anya." I whispered.

"I am...and I've been waiting for you, shield maiden. Come." She opened her arms and I took it, I hugged her.

I was suddenly so vulnerable that I could not help myself.

"I'm sorry...I did not mean to lunge at you." Pilit akong kumawala pero mas hinigpitan niya ang yakap.

"Nonsense...Siggy will be very happy."

...

Anya took me to her room, made me sit on her big couch and gave me a thick blanket as she excused her self to get something. Gusto ko sanang magtanong kung nasaan si Sigurd but my gut told me to stay with her, I don't know, there was still the feeling of longing in my stomach.