Tactless Temerity

04

Josephine

"Señorita Hilario." I was kind of offguard when the door to my limo opened at hindi si Trevor ang nakita ko. "Take my hand, por favor, there are eyes." He politely urged and paired it with a smile that was so familiar, it was irritably uncanny.

"Uhm, sorry." Kaagad kong kinuha ang kamay ni Javier para maalalayan niya na ako palabas. I checked my pulse and heartbeat, at normal naman. I did not feel any repulsion. "I thought it was Trevor that was going to accompany me?" I tried to tread carefully as I came out. I also noted the media men outside the The Tentarice Manila. They were everywehere, maging sa loob ng lobby kung saan papasok sa ballroom.

"Lo siento." Bintawan niya na ang kamay ko at pinauna ako ng kaunti para makapaglakad na kami. "Oh second thought, please place your hand around my arm. The flies had spotted us." He hissed at kaagad naman akong sumunod. He purposely switched us and stood on my right and I appreciated the gesture.

Javier, in his pre patron days was a favorite of the media. Kaya hindi ko alam kung bakit siya ang kasama ko ngayon. This event did not feel like a first test for me either, pakiramdam ko ay finals ito.

"It was Carmen who decided to switch Trevor and I the last second. Trust me, I never wanted to cause you any worry." May paumanhin niyang pahayag at ako naman ay napaisip.

"They really wanted me to step up tonight." I spoke as I realized.

"I'll be with you every step of the way, just let me know when you are comfortable or not."

I looked up at him when he said that. He sounded like him...and in this angle, he resembled Clifford so much that I wanted to peel his skin off his face. I stopped my thoughts before it added more details.

....

"He's here." Kasabay ng pagsasalita ni Javier ay ang paglitaw ng wineglass sa harapan ko. "I thought you could use some cabernet."

"Thanks." Kinuha ko naman ito at mayamaya pa ay nasa harapan ko na siya. We chose to sit at our assigned table at nagpapasalamat akong nasa may gilid ito at malayo sa mga nagkukumpulang tao. "Who's here?"

"My brother. The foolish one." Hinuli niya ang mga mata ko at hindi ko naman itinago ang pagkasuklam. "I...I'm sorry that he had to be born stupid." He stifled a smile at his attempt to make me feel better. Umiling ako sa kanya.

"I don't think that you should apologize in his behalf. Besides, it won't take anything back."

"Still...sometimes, I think that maybe things would have been different had we all grown up together, had I had the courage to come home. Maybe he could have someone to unload the burden that he chose to carry."

"I understand that you care for him, Javier...but...I say this with so much contempt, I don't fucking care. I wish that people would stop apologizing, defending and sensationalizing his notoriety. It was me who suffered, hindi kayo at wala kayong karapatang baguhin itong poot nararamdaman ko. Sa akin ito, at maganda man o masama ito, ay sa akin pa rin ito."

Tumango naman si Javier at natahimik na. I did not meant to be rude so I tried to calm myself and made it up to him.

"If you promise not to talk about any of it anymore, I would also stop being a drag tonight. Maybe we could talk shop?"

Tumango siya at napakamot ng ulo.

"Aya is...something. But I know that you can straighten her up."

"Straighten her up? Why do you sound like a strict parent? I did an initial check on her, she's remarkable. I am actually jealous of her lifestyle."