"Was It An Accident?" || Sayonika Fanfic

Chapter 3. Ignorance

TW: mentions of depression and $U1C1D3.

Friday

Five minutes later..

"..Hey Sayori." Natsuki opened the door to Sayori's room, she found her looking down..

"..Did we miss something here or..?" She was concerned. Then Sayori looks up at Natsuki.

"Oh, no, no, It's fine.. Eheh.." Sayori started to chuckle... Unusually.

"..Hold up.. Where's Monika?.." Natsuki turned around if there's any sign.. Sayori then became quiet again.. But she took a breath.

"Oh, she had to go because she said she was busy at nine! Ahah..." She was lying..

"Alright then.." Natsuki and Yuri look at her with uncertainty.

The next day..

Saturday [10:12]

The next day.. Yuri and Natsuki thanked Sayori and left this morning and said their goodbyes. They already tidy up everything so it's all good.

And just like that, Sayori hasn't responded to any of her texts in the group chat.. All thanks to Monika about what happened to.. Everything. Yesterday. She thinks that Monika believes that the kiss didn't matter.. Monika, however, was quite worried about Sayori. She would start texting her something..

[3:20] Natsuki's DMs.

Buffsuki_69: Why isn't she answering my texts? Did something happen yesterday or what?!

M@rkov_F4N: I don't know.. Perhaps she's busy doing something?.. Besides, she didn't answer any of my texts either.

Buffsuki_69: Or MAYBE.. Monika left early! That's why she never said anything!

M@rkov_F4N: Maybe you're right. I feel like Monika just ran away.. But for what? Sayori?..

Buffsuki_69: Maybe... But Idk if that's the case-

M@rkov_F4N: I guess. I wish we could at least talk to her..

Buffsuki_69: I agree- She kinda concerns me sometimes-

[3:59]

It started raining. But it didn't rain that hard or sprinkled, it just rained normally. And there was no lightning so everything was all good. However.. Sayori was still in her room like she had summer depression or became home sick.. And yet she still hasn't replied to any of her texts at all.. Not even MC's.. It's like something poisoned and parilyzed her.. She doesn't wanna move.. She just wanted to sit there until she's gone.. However, things got a little boring from here. Like there was nobody she can talk to right now.. She thinks about writing poems and thought that it would be a good idea to remove her boredom. Sayori would stare at the ceiling, then look at the floor.. Yeah.. She should write something, she thought to herself.
  She would then finally get up, grab her notebook and a pencil, and start writing a poem to show her feelings.. Depressing feelings..

Tears would start to fall on the page, leaving them small drops. She started shaking, mentally trying to think that this was just nothing. Nothing at all. But it wasn't.. She started to cry horribly. Hiding her face from the page. She took several breaths, and gasped multiple times. She couldn't handle all of this pain.. All of this was just.. Damaging her. Which made more tears fall on the poem she wrote.
She thought back about what happened last time when Monika said.. I'm sorry?.. No.. She was sorry. She was sorry for everything. She wished that she didn't do this.. She wished that nothing ever happened. She wished that she wouldn't kiss Monika again.. Well.. Depending on how Monika feels about her... Sayori would start to look back at her missed texts, then scroll up. At least nothing happened in the group chat until..
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..Monika?..

It seems that she tried to ask Sayori about what happened and didn't get a response from her in the DMs.

MonithePianist: Hey.. Before you say anything, I just wanna say... I'm sorry about what happened last night.

Sayori tried to respond back..

'Hey Monika..' ...She backspaced the message.

'I'm so sorry about what happened..' And backspaced again. Each and every single time..

'Please forgive me if I kissed you..'

'Oh, it was nothing!'

'Is it okay if we can forget about it..? Well I mean if it works for you! lol-'

'.. I love you..'

She can't figure out what she wants to say. So instead she kept on ignoring it. She would lay down at her bed, sighing. Then closed her eyes a bit. She was.. Dreaming..

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Sayori was walking inside the club.. As she opened the door, she saw Monika. Monika was reading a love letter from someone.. She turned to her. With a serious and unsatisfying face. She would then rip the letter and drop it on the ground.. She would then say..
"Sorry, but we can't."
Then she walked away. Sayori was shocked about what she said.. she would pick up the torn letter.. It was her vent poem earlier.. It became ashes once she grabbed it.. She felt.. Ill about that.. Rejected by someone she used to like.. She thought that this wasn't a dream at all. Even if it is, she felt like it wasn't. She turned around.. The club started to fade away.. Panicking..
This dream wasn't a dream, but a nightmare. An endless nightmare.. She would look down.. Hearing a lot of people laughing at her.. A lot of people ignore her too. Even Monika.. Sayori had no choice.. This reality was nothing but pain. Sorrow and pain. At least there's no room for happiness or anything.. She just wanted to die..

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[6:40]

Sayori immediately woke up. Lightly panting like she almost had a heart attack. Her heart rate began to slow down as she took a deep breath. She had made a decision. She needs to reach her as soon as possible.. Even when it's raining. But Monika was the only way she could stop this madness. The person who can talk to her or explain everything.. The one who can protect her..

She did it only because she wanted to feel better again.. But this time, she wanted to feel better with her. Sayori grabbed her red hoodie, then went downstairs to get her shoes. She would open the door, which started to keep on raining and went for a run. She was running to look for Monika.. She didn't care if it rained. She didn't care if she felt like she wanted to stay home. She only cared about apologizing to Monika.

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Her friend, and her first kiss.. For an accident. An accident that Sayori and Monika were ashamed of.. They believed that this was a very bad idea.. But it also wasn't.

At Monika's house, she was watching the rain while hugging a pillow.. She can't stop thinking about yesterday... At least she said sorry before she left. But she doesn't think that it was an apology at all. She didn't wanna run away because she wanted to, that was only because she was confused and didn't know where to start.. Her head starts to short circuit a little like she wasn't herself.. Which kinda happened when she kissed Sayori.. She started thinking.. What if she didn't wanna text me back?.. What if she didn't wanna talk to me anymore?... What if she doesn't like me.. Monika felt guilty too. She wanted things to change but.. She can't. And now that memory is mentally stuck with her forever.. Forever... and ever..

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...Knock knock..