Why So Cruel (luberto)

the train ride to genova

luca POV:

The train ride was long and grueling all I could think about was the nightmare that had just happened to me and the new nightmare that awaited.

I turned to Alberto who was dead asleep, guilia was too so I was all alone to deal with this nervous feeling.

Which I can do! I've already caused enough damage for them they don't need this new damage too.

I sat my leg shaking as I tried to shut my eyes and go to a place better than the one I was thinking of.

Luca: it will be fine mabey they won't bother me this year

Luca: mabey they dropped out or better yet forgot about me.

I suppose the sound of my personal pep talk woke up Alberto because not long after I started muttering to myself I felt a pair of arms pull me to their side.

Alberto: lu your shaking what's wrong?

I stutterd for a moment before exclaiming that nothing was wrong and he was alright to go back to sleep.

Alberto has worried enough about me he dosent need to be bothered over some stupid anxiety.

Alberto: luca clearly something is wrong tell me so I can help you

His tone shook me a little bit it was rare he was ever this serious with me but when he was he meant it.

I sighed and looked up at him, I wasn't ready to tell the whole truth not even guilia knew.

But I'd tell him a bit..

Luca: I..I'm nervous for school, I'm nervous that because of what's happened I'm gonna act differently or be treated differently..

Al looked at me with a sympathetic frown and kissed my forehead pulling me into a tighter hug.

Alberto: luca you have nothing to worry about I'm going to be by your side 100% of the way.

Luca: really?

Alberto: yes, you and I we can do anything remember.

I giggled slightly remembering the things we used to say to eachother as children and nodded.

Luca: yes I remember thankyou

Guilia: um when you too are done being lovey dovey weirdos the trains almost here.

Alberto almost choked on his spit remembering we weren't alone on this train.

( and I've just remembered my bone crushing love for daddy massimo 😏)

Sure enough we were no more than 15 minutes away from genova.

I leaned into Alberto shutting my eyes and laughing a bit as guilia made gagging noises

But in whole truth was simply just joking. She had a girlfriend too who she must have been missing.

Not long after me and guilias banter had started we had to stop as the train had come to a halt.

We each grabbed our luggages and waited to get off the train.

After getting off we looked around for maria guilias mother but she was nowhere to be seen.

Guilia: that's odd she's always here let me message her..

I watched as she send her mother a message and we all patiently awaited her reply.

-guilias phone-

Mama
----------'

               "Hey mum where are you?"

*seen*

                    "Mum hello?"

*typing*
               

"Sorry  hun I'm on a work
trip in Nepal right
now be back ASAP keys
are under the matt"  

---------‐------------------------------

-End of convo-

Guilia: UGH she's so irresponsible why on earth would she do that fuck sakes!

Alberto: guilia it's fine calm down let's just get walking before it's dark.

Guilia: fine but I'm telling papa about this!

I remained silent as the two bickerd I was tired and had no energy for it.

---

After some walking we eventually made it over to guilias mums house. And opened the door.

We were all so tired we each ate the meal maria left for us and retreated to bed.

I flopped down onto the mattress, Alberto not far behind me.

Curling up into the blankets Alberto turned me so I was facing him.

(Like this)

Alberto: we both know you weren't telling the truth now tell me what was up on the train?

Damn! How the fuck did he always know?! Every time, nothing gets past him I swear.

I sighed for a moment before speaking.

Luca: I'm nervous because all of last year and the year before I was bullied and I'm scared it's going to happen again and with everything that's happened I don't think I can Handle it

I found myself venting as I thought about everything I had lost this summer.

Alberto: oh luca..come here..

He pulled me into an even tighter hug and I couldnt stop my sobs, my body shook as the events of the summer took over me.

My parents, my health and almost my life too..I lost all of that.

And now I'm just this weak nothing crying in my boyfriends arms.

He began to stroke my hair as an attempt to sooth me.

But I was far too distraught, my body began to shake and breathing became tough.

I thought this was one of my panic attacks but it was far worse.

At one point I found myself almost heaving for air as anxiety took over

Alberto: shh..sh.sh your ok I'm here..

He hugged me right and continued to stroke my hair and eventually my heavy sobs and body shaking panic attack subsided and I was able to hug Alberto back and kiss him good night as sleep consumed me.

Done I promise to get another chapter out this week!!!