The red means i love you| rants (1)

So uh...

So this is just one huge life update I have been somewhat busy and my mental health has hit rock bottom over the last three weeks I almost relapsed probably over 10 times almost tried to commit su!cide thankful I didn't well technically I did relapsed but that's not the point I went to Pittsburgh that's when I had watched stranger things volume two

———————-volume 2 spoilers—————

When max was basically dead I was sobbing so badly and when they showed the memories of max and el I started sobbing even harder I was in the hotel room at the time and I was sobbing so loud that my mom literally said "the people in the room next to us probably think we're murdering you" her exact words I'm not even kidding that night we went to dinner at the hark rock cafe and I almost cried it reminded me of Eddie
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Last Saturday I had two parades for band I started talking to a friend who I hadn't talked to in a while and during that whole day I helped a girl with her hair, helped a girl with her uniform, gave a girl hand sanitizer after she touched moldy gum, comforted a girl in silks after she had seen her abuser at both parades, had to find my friends phone at a carnival, tripped over my silk over 10 time yes I counted and a lot more i watched                 Z-O-M-B-I-E-S 3 I cried ;-; I also got in a fight with my dad in the middle of a Walmart, got punched in the face by my brother had to comfort him after he was crying which has been basically every day, today I organized my new bookshelves, barely talked to my girlfriend, have almost had over 5 panic attacks somehow my life is a fucking mess and that is just what I can remember;-;