I Can't, Eddie... (Steddie)

1

The air had a crispness to it this morning that Steve wasn't prepared for. It was too early into fall for this chill. Then again, nothing ever seemed to make sense in Hawkins. Very few members of the community were aware of just how unbelievable the history of Hawkins had become in the last few years. Strangely enough, most of those in the know were local teenagers. They carried around an immense series of secrets that those much older than them struggled to keep. And yet, each year, the group of kids returned to school and attempted to maintain a sense of normalcy in their lives. For the most part, they were successful. They had friends and lives that continued on. Most days it was easy to pretend they were just like everyone else. Most days, but not every day.

Steve pulled into the school parking lot and quickly rummaged through the car looking for his jacket.

Damn. Did I leave it at home?

Rubbing his shoulders to generate some warmth, he made the trek to the building. Students filed in all around him, occasionally shouting hello or waving a hand in his direction. Everyone knew Steve. He had grown distant from the popular crowd in the last few years but his reputation preceded him. He had everyone's respect in this school and in this town, and he had earned it.

The beige walls branched out in front of him in an endless series of mazes. He blinked and suddenly the walls became blood red, crawling with black vines and oozing mysterious dark substances. Steve stopped in his tracks and whipped his head back and forth. His breath came in short bursts and his heart kicked in to overdrive.

It's not real, Steve. It's not real. Close your eyes.

His eyes fluttered closed as his hands clenched into fists.

You are not in the upside down. You are in Hawkins High School. You are safe.

...then why do I wake up everyday in terror?

A heavy object shoved into Steve's shoulder and his eyes snapped open, revealing a perfectly average high school hallway. He exhaled in relief and looked around for the source of the blow. His best friend Robin hovered near his shoulder, concern written all over her freckled face. Her copper hair was clipped back away from her face and her bright blue eyes probed Steve's.

"Is it still happening, Steve?" She clutched his arm and dragged him over to the line of green lockers against the wall.

Steve ran a hand over his face roughly.

"It hasn't happened in over a month," he admitted. Robin's face softened as she nodded in understanding.

"That's way less often than before, right?" She asked despite already knowing the answer. Robin wanted Steve to say the words himself. He needed that reminder and she knew it. It's part of what made their friendship so special.

"Yes. It's definitely getting better."

Except for the nightmares every single night for the last six months.

"Come on, let's get to class." Robin tugged Steve's hand to get him moving down the hall.

Willing his heart rate to go down, he followed behind her begrudgingly. The halls were nearly empty now, save for a few troublemakers or people with poor time management skills. Of course the kids fall into that category. Dustin and the boys were huddled with their D&D club right outside Steve and Robin's classroom. Steve shooed them off to their classes and the leader of the club, Eddie Munson, chuckled under his breath. Steve looked at Eddie and rolled his eyes, taking in his dark unruly hair grown well past his shoulders, his black clothes and rings, and his wide smile. He was a total pariah at the school with the exception of his fellow club members, most of whom were the gang of freshman Steve and Robin affectionately referred to as 'the kids'. Steve was pretty sure Eddie felt that same sense of protectiveness over them, and it always felt like Steve was in an unspoken competition with Eddie. A competition he wanted no part of and did not sign up for. It wasn't even a competition. Steve had been through so much with the kids, more than Eddie would ever know.

"You're such a mom, Harrington." Eddie shook his head with his trademark smirk, causing a dimple to pop out in his left cheek, and sauntered into the class he shared with Robin and Steve. Steve's stomach flipped as he crossed the threshold of the door.

"Fuck off, Munson." Steve muttered, too low for anyone to hear.

Really? I'm going to let Eddie get to me today? Get it together man.

The classroom was a series of small brown tables for two facing a blackboard and exhausted teacher. Large windows gave a view of the schools front lawn and the parking lot. Steve could just barely see his car. It felt like it was calling out to him, begging him to peel out of the lot and do anything but be at school. Despite the urge to escape, he sat down

"Your face is red." Robin poked Steve's cheek, keenly observing the color change in Steve's face.

Steve swatted her away.

"I'm still freaked out from earlier," he lied. Robin propped her chin up with her hand on the table they were sharing and quietly watched Steve.

Steve sat through class letting his mind wander. Every day felt the same. Just going through the motions with Robin by his side. Nothing ever changed anymore. He was comforted by it, but also terribly bored by it. That's why he felt a strange sense of relief at his hallucination this morning. It had been over a month and life was feeling dangerously normal again. There was a part of Steve that didn't want that. He didn't want to go back to a life of random girls and parties and meaningless everything. He felt disgusted by the advances of his biology lab partner every afternoon. She was a pretty girl, Steve just didn't feel the same desire he used to.

During lunch hour, Dustin rushed over to the table Steve and Robin were seated at and crashed his books and various wired machinery down in front of them.

"Jesus!" Steve yelped, leaning back to avoid a swinging battery pack.

"Steve," Dustin croaked, totally out of breath. "I don't have much time. I have to get back to our campaign." Steve rolled his eyes as far back as they could go.

"Shut up, asshole," Dustin continued, "do me a huge favor? I need you to bring these books to the club after school. I have to stay late for algebra and—"

"Absolutely the fuck not." Steve crossed his arms defiantly.

"Dude, seriously? You owe me one! I can just go tell Jessica right now what really happened—"

"Okayokayokay. Jesus. Fine." Steve ran his hand through his sandy brown hair and sighed. A few weeks ago, Dustin had done Steve a huge favor when he saw him suffering through a miserable date at the movie theater. Dustin had feigned being sick and begged Steve for a ride home. Steve got to leave the date and he ended up looking like the generous older friend.

"What is this even for?" Steve picked up the book at the top of the stack. It had a picture of what looked like some sort of drooling ogre-like creature wielding a bloody spiked club high above its head.

This is the nerdiest shit ever.

Dustin opened his mouth to launch into an explanation and Steve quickly raised a hand to stop him.

"Nope. Stop. I don't care." Now it was Dustin's turn to roll his eyes.

"Okay, thanks man. You might run into Eddie so just be nice. You know you're my favorite." Dustin bumped Steve's shoulder affectionately.

I'm not in a competition with Eddie.

Steve grunted in response and dragged the heavy books toward him. He turned toward Robin and she spoke before he could.

"I'm busy, I'm not going with you to drop those off. Sorry." She got up from her seat and marched off to her next class, leaving Steve alone at the table surrounded by books about trolls and vampires and god knows what else.