I Can't, Eddie... (Steddie)

8

Eddie's eyes went wide for just a moment, until Steve put his hand on Eddie's thigh and gave him a smoldering look. Eddie's eyes narrowed and he bit his lip. A low sound of desire came from Steve's throat and Eddie leaned forward, responding with a deep kiss. Steve pulled Eddie down so they were both laying on his bed. Eddie rolled over hovering over Steve and sliding his hand up Steve's jawline. Steve brought his hands down under Eddie's shirt and felt up his abs. Eddie pulled back and shook off his denim vest. He quickly brought his shirt up over his head, tossing them both on the floor. Eddie leaned back toward Steve bare-chested. For what felt like the millionth time, Steve noticed that although Eddie was skinny, he did have some muscle tone alone his arms and in his abdominals. He was also covered in tattoos. The ink swirled and curved into all sorts of shapes. Some beautiful, some disturbing. Steve could have sat for hours examining each one in detail. He threw his head back and his eyes practically rolled back into his head.

"Fuck. That's what you've been hiding under those ridiculous clothes??"

Eddie laughed and shrugged.

"Sorry it took you so long to see me shirtless, Harrington."

"Come here," Steve growled.

Eddie leaned back over and Steve ran his hands over Eddie's chest and down onto his back, pulling him even closer. The kissing seemed to get more intense by the second, and Steve had a growing desire to know if Eddie wanted him as much as he wanted Eddie. He cautiously brought his hand lower on Eddie's abdomen until he felt the metal button of Eddie's jeans. Eddie pulled back again, eyes round.

"Steve Harrington, are you trying to get in my pants?" He laughed, and as he leaned back Steve could see the growing evidence of Eddie's arousal, which only made Steve increasingly turned on as well. It was going beyond want. He needed Eddie.

"...Maybe?" Steve said tentatively. He hadn't really thought about what he would do after he unbuttoned Eddie's pants, and he didn't know if he was ready to take that step.

"Let's slow down." Eddie said, running a hand affectionately through Steve's still wet hair. Steve shivered at the touch.

"Probably a good idea," Steve said, shifting up so his back was against the headboard. He patted the space on the bed next to him. Eddie smiled widely, showing off his perfect dimple, and hopped over Steve to land perfectly next to him on the bed. He leaned over and put one finger under Steve's chin, planting a quick kiss before pulling back. Steve moved with Eddie and stole one last kiss before Eddie laughed and shook his head.

"Ridiculous," Eddie muttered, nuzzling his head against Steve's neck all the same.

They sat quietly for a few moments enjoying each other's company. Steve eventually picked up Eddie's hand and started examining it delicately. First he looked at Eddie's nails, covered in chipped black nail polish. Then he moved down to the rings he had on three of his fingers. One was solid black, the next was a dark silver engraved with a skull pattern, and the last one was also black, but it had a strange pattern of curvy characters with dots and dashes above some of them. Steve didn't recognize it as anything he had ever seen and he looked at it far longer than the other rings, until Eddie murmured without moving his head from Steve's shoulder.

"It's elvish. Like from lord of the rings."

Eddie's tone was matter-of-fact. He wasn't embarrassed or ashamed. Steve felt a wave of jealousy wash over him. Eddie was so confident and sure of who he was. He was happy to be himself and surround himself with people who were either similar to him, or who accepted him for who we was.

Not every part of who he is.

"Does anyone else know you're...," Steve trailed off.

"You can say 'gay'," Eddie lifted his head and turned to look at Steve, leaving his hand in Steve's.

Steve waited for Eddie to answer the question.

"Actually, no. I mean, I'm not an idiot, I know there are rumors. But as far as anyone is concerned, that's all they are."

"Wait, no one? Like, I'm the first person you've told?"

"Yup."

"Does that mean you've never kissed anyone either?"

"That would be correct."

Steve had to pick his jaw up from the floor.

"Wait, what?! How—but you—the way you—???" Steve sputtered, "but you seem so confident. Like you've done this like, at least some in the past!"

Eddie shrugged.

"It feels natural with you. I just go with what I'm feeling in the moment. Honestly, I'm following your lead most of the time. You're the one who's 'experienced'. And I'm the one who keeps telling you to slow down, Harrington," he pointed out.

Steve realized that was perfectly true and felt a surge of tenderness. Protectiveness, even. There were so many facets to Eddie. He was arrogant, he was a total geek. He was cute, he was sexy. He was kind, he was an asshole. It made Steve's head spin in the best way.

"Well, um—" Steve cleared his throat, "thanks. For trusting me."

"I didn't have much of a choice," Eddie joked, "although part of me thinks you would have been happy to have continued on with your life pretending that was all a nightmare."

Bullshit.

Steve turned to look Eddie directly in the eyes.

"I was miserable every day. It was all I could think about. It consumed every part of my brain. And not because I wished it wasn't real." Steve took a deep breath. He just wanted Eddie to understand. "And my nightmares have nothing to do with you," he added as an afterthought.

"You have nightmares?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah, it's nothing," Steve waved him off and changed the topic slightly, "although that's not to say I haven't dreamt about you. Because I definitely have." He smirked ever so slightly and winked at Eddie.

"Oh really. What kind of dreams? Or can you not say, for the sake of my virtue?" Eddie feigned distress, putting a hand dramatically on his forehead.

Steve's heart rate started increasing again. "Let's just say my dreams really compromise your virtue, babe."

"'Babe'?! Wow, I'm horrified by how much I like that." Eddie laughed.

"Who would have thought Eddie Munson loves a pet name??" Steve teased.

"I bet you love 'em. Don't ya, big boy?" Eddie winked and roared with laughter as Steve went beet red.

"Why is it impossible to embarrass you?!" Steve whined.

They kept joking, flirting, and stealing the occasional kiss from one another. Neither boy had noticed how dark it was getting outside. Eddie finally caught sight of the black window and jumped up.

"Shit! I gotta get going. I'll need this for real now," he chuckled, grabbing the jacket off the bed and reaching for the rest of his clothes. Steve looked outside and shook his head.

"No, just stay. I'll sleep on the floor."

"Stay? Like sleep over? Don't you need to, like, ask your parents?"

Steve laughed, "No. They don't care what I do." Eddie frowned but didn't comment.

"Fine. I'll stay. And you don't have to sleep on the floor. I mean, I don't mind sharing but if you do then I'll sleep on the floor. It's your house."

"Absolutely not. Get back over here." Steve yanked on Eddie's arm and he collapsed back onto the bed in a heap.

They watched late night television on Steve's small TV for hours, cuddling and occasionally chatting. There was always some part of them intertwined. Steve felt a sense of complete bliss. He couldn't fully comprehend just how happy and at ease his mind was in that moment, but when he finally fell asleep holding Eddie, whose head was resting on Steve's chest, he slept without nightmares for the first time in years.