Tough life tougher love

Heart to heart

              ⚠️may contain sensitive subjects⚠️
Sitting crying on the floor someone knocked the door "go away" I couldn't face anyone not after hearing that, he promised no secrets and still lied to my face. "Hope ma jolie fille, please what have I done tell me," I go to answer the door so I could punch him this time but I hear Sam "she's not your pretty girl Steve your a fucking dick you slept with her last night promised no lies and yet you are still dating Sharon Carter." I opened the door they don't realise "know Bucky told me she was petrified to loose you to Peggy, well instead it's her niece you make me sick Steve." He goes to punch him but I grab his hand stopping him, before sighing and putting his hand down, "pechenʹye, he's not worth it" they both looked shocked that I was there "Hope I will go with you tomorrow if you want?" I shake my head "no you have a mission with Bucky please help Karli she's not a bad person just a mislead child." He nodded before going to walk away I grab his hand "can I speak to you in private please Sam?" He sighed but nodded "I don't think so you're my wife." Steve grabbed my arm "this isn't the 40s anymore and I ain't going to be your wife much longer." I slap his hand away and step aside for Sam to enter, I walk into the room and lock the door.

I turn to look at Sam who is sitting on the bed not looking at me "Sam, I know you hate me but please these mixed signals are pissing me off and confusing me so much." He looks up at me "pequ.. Hope, I can't do this I mean you just talk to him for 5 minutes then back into bed with him, Hope I love you but I can't be with you it's to hard." I have tears in my eyes and look at him "Sam I love you as well, please we can make it work, I miss you calling me pequeña ave, I miss your touch and not just in bed, I miss your smell your laugh, everything please Sam." Both of us have tears in our eyes "Hope ba... I can't be second best to Steve, please Hope let's just be friends I can't loose you altogether I lost your love to Steve I can't loose the friendship." I sit beside him and take his hand both tears staining our cheeks I take my free hand and wipe away his tears. "Sam you aren't second best yes I stupidly slept with him, I can't deny that but I used protection with him I didn't feel the same when it was with you. I meant what I said, I'm going to talk to him tomorrow after the lies I can't stay with him, pechenʹye please I want you if you don't feel the same please give this back to Sarah."

I take the necklace off and place it in his hand "I didn't realise you had this it was my mothers, when did she even give you this? I love you too, I still can't get over you sleeping with him but using protection makes me feel a little better, was he better or bigger than me?" I laughed a little causing him to look up "let me answer your questions shall I, Sarah gave me it in our first date, I don't expect you to forget but hoping you can forgive me, and I don't think anyone will be better or bigger than you pechenʹye." He uses his free hand and puts it on my cheek, "Hope can I ask you a serious question?" I nod a little worried what would come. "The red room, Natasha was there why didn't you have the..." he looks down he couldn't bare to ask the question as it's a sensitive subject "no Sam, I was in the red room but was a hydra agent, they wanted to use me for the super soldiers as I was the only female to survive their torture, they wanted me to create new weapons so the graduation ceremony was never an option I was just there to train." He looks at me with a look of guilt in his eyes, "well one thing I am thankful Zemo did was destroy them." I notice Sam's hand moved from mine to my thigh.

I didn't say anything as I felt safe in his touch "pequeña ave? You still haven't told me what you call me." He chuckles making me smile "it's Russian for cookie I can change it if you don't like it, but I think it suits you as you are sweet like a cookie." He smiles "no I like it but why not candy?" I shrug and smile "prefer cookies if I'm honest." I place my hand on his knee looking into his eyes, he leans in but I move back "pechen'ye I don't think we should." As much as I wanted to I knew it wasn't right, "you still want Steve don't you, I knew it damn I'm so fucking stupid." He stood up, letting out a sigh of hurt "no Sam that's not what I meant please let me explain," I stand and grab his hand, "what is it then?" I look into his eyes looking for the words "can we take it slow after the idiots I dated I don't want to ruin us, I love you Samual Thomas Wilson and only you." I pulled him in and kissed him filled with lust, love and passion he grabs my lower back with one hand and my neck with the other deepening the kiss "pequeña ave, my girl how I love you." He says between kisses "shut up and kiss me," he chuckled and pulled away from the kiss and pulled me in cuddling me close, "I am never letting you go again, I don't know about you but I am shattered, fancy putting on a film and going for a nap?" I keep my head on his chest "I want food first, you can get everything ready and get comfy I will be back in a minute ok?" He groans and chuckles "I just said I wasn't letting you go."  I laughed as he let me go "get comfortable pechen'ye, I will be back." I leave a lingering kiss on his lips before turning unlocking the door and head to the kitchen.

"Hey bubbles you look a lot happier," I smile at him "bubbles?" I jumped at the second voice "Loki right where did you come from."  He laughed looking up from his book "I was sitting here all the time pet, but didn't answer me bubbles." My face went bright red and Bucky laughed "she's always cheerful is what we tell people but you can read minds so real reason is she was chasing bubbles and fell and broke her arm." I growl at Bucky as Loki laughs "shut up reindeer games, damn being bullied by tank and I only came down for a snack." I look up and see both there faces shocked looking at me "what?" I looked at them eating a banana "where did you hear that name?" I just shrugged and walked away "Tony stark," I make my way back to the room "pequeña ave I missed you come here." He smiled as I came to the bed and lay down beside him, he turned on a movie "not good enough." He pulled me onto his chest I giggled "that's better get some sleep" I fall asleep listening to his heart a while into the movie, he smiled and fell asleep with his hands around me.