Enemies with Benefits (Harry Styles)

Chapter Twenty-Nine

*present*

Athena's POV

I'm still sleeping on a bed surrounded by the sound of some machines, then I realize that this bed isn't the bed that I'm used to sleeping in. So it's a little uncomfortable for me to sleep in.

When I wake up, I find Harry kissing me on my forehead, almost crying. "I'm sorry, Athena..." I hear him whispering. He still doesn't notice I'm awake.

I open my eyes, then Harry immediately supports me and helps me get up. "I'm glad you're up."

And I sit on the bed, looking around the room. There are some machines, living equipment, a private toilet, and a TV. "I'm in a hospital room, aren't I?" I speak in a voice that is not at all forceful.

He slowly nods. "The doctor said you had to stay here for a few more days."

Hearing his words, I realize again that I was in critical condition that I had to be taken to the hospital and even hospitalized. I'm also hooked up to an oxygen tube, and my body begins to shake with fear at the thought that I might have died without it.

"How long have I been sleeping here?" I ask, watching Harry sits on the pipe chair next to the bed.

"Two days," he says. "For those two days, you had no premonition that you were going to wake up. Your oxygen levels were not very stable, and the doctor was telling me that you might not survive if you continued to be deprived of oxygen."

I listen to him and try to understand the situation. "I've been asleep, doing nothing in this hospital bed for two days, am I right?"

He neither nods nor shakes his head. "I brought some towels and water from the apartment, and other stuff. For the past two days, I've been wiping you down, turning you over, and feeding you oxygen from the oxygen machine, just waiting for you to wake up."

I'm looking down because I still don't have the energy to look at him. "So you've been looking after me in this room?"

This time he slowly nods.

I want to thank him, or rather, I know I should thank him, but I remember my anger before I do. I keep silent, recalling what he did to me before I ended up here.

Harry seems like he gets what's in my mind now. "I'm sorry, baby..."

"Don't call me baby." My words come out with my anger.

Harry makes sad eyes and keeps whispering, "Sorry, sorry..."

I have no energy to do anything now. I can't even sigh. But my brain remains recalling what he did that night. I just don't have the energy to be angry right now, much less yell at him.

"You can leave now," I say to him clearly, though in a small voice.

He keeps shaking his head. "No please, don't let me go. I'm sorry for what I did, Athena. You know you're the only girl I want." Now he's gripping my right hand firmly with both of his. "Let me take care of you. You can't make me go in your condition, I'll be so worried."

I vigorously remove his hands from my own. I'm surprised at myself, as if my energy, which had disappeared until now, has suddenly been restored. "You did the same thing as you had done that night. I texted you that I needed your help, but what did you do? You just asked me to shut up and told me I was so annoying. And yes, I was annoying, I'm always annoying. But I'm much better than a buster who was having very loud sex, knowing his roommate could hear him and also knowing she needed help!" I feel my anger coming out all at once. He looks so sorry to me, but I ignore it.

"Now please leave here. I appreciate you for taking care of me for the past two days, but I'm awake now, I can do that by myself."

"But-" he starts to speak but I cut him off. "Go," I say. "Before my anger erupts again."

It takes him a little while to start moving, but he slowly gets up, heads for the door, and leaves the room.

And I'll continue to be immersed in sorrow. I don't even know what those tears are for, but I begin to cry. Then I cry, and cry, and cry, still in bed.

Naturally, I'm still mad at Harry, and I don't want to forgive him. But part of me wants to... However, that's not all that's going through my head. If that is all I feel, then what are these tears streaming down my cheeks now? I really don't know why I'm crying. My emotions are too complicated. I don't even know why I'm crying, but I only know that they are complicated. I wonder if there is a dictionary or something in this world that can completely decipher someone's emotions. If there is, I need it first and foremost.

This tires me out again. I just don't have any energy left, and now I'm losing all my energy again because of this feeling I have. Can I blame him for everything now?

And here comes the phone. I have been bedridden for two days, so I don't know where my phone is either, so I start looking for it. After a few minutes, I realize it is on the TV stand. I then pick up it and check the message that came.

Harry: Make sure to call me if there's something.

It's him. The one who I want to blame the most.

But even though he's the one I want to blame, if he had not called the ambulance and come to the hospital, I might not have survived, Besides, he took care of me for the past two days while the nurses were busy, so even if I say blame him, it's also true that I can't blame him all the way.

It still pisses me off, though. He did the same thing again over a year later as he did the day he and I spilt up.

The haze in my heart isn't going to go away at all, so I decide to just leave his text on 'read' so that we won't be even less awkward and won't be fighting anymore.

The next thing I do is look at the desk. There is water, yogurt, sweets, my favorite knick-knacks, and towels. Harry must have arranged them for me. I'm grateful for that.

He's so kind and reliable sometimes, and that always makes me blend in. He has a dirty mind and a beautiful heart, and it always draws me in. His soft side makes me feel so safe and comfortable, and maybe that's what makes him dangerous. I'm too attracted to it every time, and it makes me unable to brace myself when he hurts me. That makes me hurt even more. Just like his mind is a drug for someone, and that someone would be me. I guess I was already captivated by it, that I fell into the same trap twice.

I zone out for a while thinking about it. I'm in the hospital now, so I can relax all the time because I don't have to think about time anymore.

Then, as I close my eyes and try to meditate, a ringtone echoes through the room. I reach for the phone on the desk and grab it. I'm happy to see that the call is from my father.

"Hi, Dad," I say as I pick it up.

"Hello my darling, I'm finally back from my honeymoon! How have you been lately?" I can tell even through the phone that he's so happy to be talking.

I smile with my phone in my ear. But then my eyes burn. My heart burns. And then the tears start to fall. I have no idea how many times I've cried today.

"Athena? Is everything okay?" I hear him say.

I'm having difficulty speaking because of my tears. My brain is also sick of thinking. "Sorry Dad, but I'm not in the mood to talk now."

"That's fine, darling. Call me back when it's the right time for you."

I wondered if I should talk to him about it during the call, but he just got remarried and should be happy. I don't want him to be bothered by this.

Then my mind's occupied with Harry. I wonder how I should treat him from now on. I didn't understand the relationship even before, and this is going to complicate things even more. I even almost hear his voice. Maybe I miss that gentle voice. The soft side of him.