Tramp: Alright then; now that you're all onboard. I need you to go to the White House briefing room, there you'll be filled in on the details.
*Alpha huffs impatiently
Alpha: Fine....But I can already tell you this probably isn't gonna go the way you want it to.
Tramp: WHATEVER! THESE THINGS HAVE TO BE STOPPED! AT ANY COST!
Jorg: I have a feeling he's definitely gonna regret saying that...
And so the three enter the Whitehouse briefing room.
Awaiting them with yet another projector screen are both the NASA and Space Force reps from the previous Kinder Cosmic.
Jorg leans forward with his wrists pressed against his hips antagonizing the Space Force rep flamboyantly.
Jorg: FANCY MEETIN' YOU HERE!
*He grins with a wide eyed, psychotic expression plastered acrossed his face.
The USSF REP hurls a cup of coffee he was holding against a nearby wall in irritation.
USSF REP: “FOR FUCKS SAKE NOT THESE TWO!
He said he was calling "the calvary"
......
I THOUGHT HE MEANT THE GODDAMNED ARMY!?”
The NASA representative steps forward
NASA REP: As you can clearly see my compatriot here has had a very rough day an-
USSF REP: THE LAST THING I WANNA DEAL WITH IS YOU TWO AND YOUR BULLSHIT!
*suddenly Jorg can be seen wearing a pink fluttering "princess dress" as he runs towards the Space Force rep and embraces his legs not unlike a small child.
Jorg: Did you miss me daddy??
Jorg says whilst gazing upwards at the rep and batting his eyelids.
USSF REP: GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!
He can be seen pushing Jorg off of his leg and storming out of the briefing room in a rage.
USSF REP: AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
*the door slams
NASA Rep: Now if I can get yo-
Muffled screams can be heard from the other side of the door.
USSF Rep: AAAAAAAHHHHHH!
*steps can be heard from outside of the office
Jorg, Alpha, Luna, and the NASA Rep all stand around the room staring at one another awkwardly.
USSF Rep yells from further down the hall: FUCK!
The three burst into laughter.
Luna: Jorg, where did you even get that??
Alpha: You don't want to know...
NASA Rep: *Ahem
NASA Rep: Now that I have your attention....hopefully. If you could look at the feed on this screen right here.
The screen relays satellite imagery of the alien invaders "blipping" into earth's orbit and descending upon the planet.
NASA Rep: Do either of you know what these creatures are?
Alpha: Nope...
Jorg: But they can "blip"....like us.
NASA Rep: How many extraterrestrial entities that you know of can "blip"?
Alpha: There are a few, but none of which look anything like that.
NASA Rep: Well then it's back to square one I guess. What we need the two of you to do is find out what these creatures are and how to get rid of them.
Luna: The military can't deal with them?
NASA Rep: Absolutely not, they have been deployed at several locations but have yet to engage because we still don't know what kind of supernatural force we're dealing with.
Alpha: oh...look at that. A kernel of wisdom...
NASA Rep: There's a provisionary storehouse just outside of DC that we have deployed a local regiment to stand by and await orders, just head there and you'll find out more when you get there.
NASA Rep: Luna, I need you to stay with me and see if we can't figure out more about these creatures in the meantime.
Luna: “Very well..
Hey Alpha; take this!”
She hands Alpha a small cellular phone.
Alpha looks down at the object.
Alpha: What is it?
Luna: A phone....
Alpha looks at Luna quizzically.
Luna: A communication device.
Alpha: OH! Ok...
Alpha says as he tucks the cellphone into the pocket of his coat.
The two proceed to leave as Jorg can be seen pulling up the bottom of his dress and strutting outside of the briefing room with Alf trailing close behind.
He pauses and turns to flap his wrist flamboyantly waving at Luna.
Jorg: BYE LUNA!
Luna laughing: Bye Jorg!
And so the two and a half are once again escorted by military convoy to an encampment outside of the provisionary storehouse, from a distance the massive creatures can be seen tearing into food bins and conex boxes ripping them apart and devouring everything within sight.
At the edge of the outpost the Space Force commander can be seen overlooking the creatures with a pair of binoculars, surrounded by Space Marines eagerly awaiting the coming battle as the two; with Alf in tow, approach.
Commander looking at the two: It won't be long now until they finish and move on...
Commander: Any suggestions?
Jorg: BEAT THEIR ASSES INTO OBLIVION!
*Alf barks and scrambles within Jorgs grip
Commander: Couldn't have said it any better myself.
Space Marine: I'M GONNA PUMP THEIR FAT ASSES FULL O' LEAD!
Jorg sets the puppy down nearby an outpost tent.
Jorg: Now; STAY HERE boy! I'll be right back...
The puppy barks plaintively and wags his tail.
Alpha groans loudly: Let's get this over with.
As the group advances towards the alien creatures they get closer and closer, but the creatures continue eating completely unaware or unconcerned of their presence.
As the group reaches a distance within a few dozen feet of the creatures, of which still pay the oncoming threat absolutely no mind; a Space Marine speaks.
Space Marine: Permission to engage, SIR!
Commander: FIRE AWAY!
Space Marine: READ EM AND WEEP YOU "SPACE PIG" SONS OF BITCHES!
The marine fires his weapon into the nearest alien repeatedly in a hail of automatic gunfire as each bullet hitting the thick leathery skin of the creature is ricocheted back one after another.
The marine is struck by a ricocheting bullet and falls to the ground screaming in agony while the commander and other marines drop to the ground, Alpha suspends the remaining munitions in place with his telekinesis.
Space Marine: AAAAAGHHH! I TOOK A BULLET TO THE KNEE!
As two Space Marines recover and drag their injured companion away another Space Marine steps forward, this time with a flamethrower and douses another one of the creatures in superheated flame.
Space Marine: HOW BOUT SOME SMOKED HAM!?!?
The creatures still keep feeding completely unmoved by the violence surrounding them as the flames erupt and envelop the "space pig" the marine fires the weapon for what seems like an insurmountable amount of time until it sputters and cuts off completely out of fuel.
As the flames dissipate the creature can be seen obliviously shuffling a few paces and then ripping open another container and resuming it's feast.
Space Pig: GLOMP! GLOMP! GLOMP! GLOOOOMP!
Commander: seems like conventional weapons aren't going to work...
Jorg stretches and bounces up and down in his "air jordans".
Jorg: I GOT THIS!
Jorg backs up a few paces and then sprints towards the creature at supersonic speed firing at it enveloped in a wave of telekinetic energy like an invisible alien bullet he drop kicks the side of the beast and is immediately ricochet a great distance away.
Jorg: WAAAAAaaaahhhh!
Jorg is hurdled through the air and slams into the side of a nearby building, falling onto the ground face first lying sprawled out in the mud and dirt.
Jorg: .......I'M AIGHT!
The commander turns and looks at Alpha who is standing solitarily with his arms folded thinking contemplatively.
Alpha looks back towards the commander
Alpha: WHAT!?
The commander shrugs and points towards one of the beasts in response.
Alpha: Fine....
Alpha meticulously pats the dust off of his coat and then braces himself for a confrontation.
Alpha hovers utilizing all of his telekinetic power lifting the creature from it's position while the "space pig" still tries to feed as it is slowly ripped away from the container kicking its eight little legs fruitlessly into the air. Alpha's telekinetic power sweeps a cloud of dust up surrounding him as he focuses on the creature and slams it into a nearby building at immeasurable speed.
BOINK!
The gluttonous beast bounces off of the building like a basketball still kicking it's feet midair and falls back into the very same spot it was previously feeding before Alpha's attack then continues to feed as if nothing had occurred to begin with.
Alpha: Well I'll be damned...these things are pretty much invincible.
Commander: You got anymore parlor tricks up your sleeve ET?
Alpha: None that would bother it; obviously.
Commander: well then, time to call in the BIG GUNS!
Alpha: Yeah....I don't think that's a good id-
Before Alpha can finish speaking the commander has already called in an airstrike to their current position.
Commander: CLEAR THE AREA!
As the commander haphazardly sprints away Alpha hears the sound of a Fighter Jet rocketing above them, the commander had not taken into account that he just called an airstrike into a civilian population and that the aircraft itself was already in it’s immediate vicinity.
Alpha races towards the commander, grabs him by the back of his uniform and blips away as rockets are launched into the storehouse exploding and vaporizing everything within sight, before the mushroom cloud can spread decimating nearby buildings and civilians Alpha contains it in a wave of telekinetic energy.
Just as the explosion dissipates Alpha and the Commander hear a very familiar noise emanating from behind them.
Space Pigs: GLOMP! GLOMP! GLOMP!
As the two turn they see the pack of space pigs feeding on the military encampment store of provisions with Alf squatting on his hind legs furiously barking and growling at them.
Commander: GET THE HELL OUTTA MY RATIONS!
The commander jumps on the back of one of the creatures with a knife in hand angrily stabbing at the creature repeatedly as the knife bounces away with every strike.
Jorg approaches the encampment where Alf runs over and begins barking and whimpering at him.
Jorg: What's wrong boy? You hungry?
The commanders assault can still be heard intermittently in the background.
BOINK! BOINK! BOINK!
Commander: C'MON AND FIGHT ME YOU OVERWEIGHT PILE OF STAR SHIT!
Jorg: Here boy, have some of this.
Jorg pulls out a bowl and a packet of wet puppy food that he empties into the bowl as Alf barks and wags his tail.
*BOINK *BOINK
Commander: MOTHER!
BOINK! BOINK! BOINK! BOINK!
Commander: FUC-
The noise suddenly stops, accompanied by the sound of shuffling weight and a loud gurgling noises as the beast turns it's attention towards the dog food and scurries at incredible speed towards it throwing the commander off of his mounted position and onto the ground.
Commander: AAAAAGHHH! MY BACK!
The creature slams into the bowl of wet dog food and with it, Alf. Who is tossed across the ground and in fear begins yelping and running away in the opposite direction with Jorg running behind trying to catch him.
The space pigs finish devouring the compound and then simultaneously blip away before Alpha who charges towards them preparing for another attack can reach them.
Alpha: SHIT!
Jorg can be heard in the distance screaming towards the direction in which Alf had fled.
Jorg: ALF! NOOOOO!
The dog runs into the ruins of the recently bombed out and still burning storage facility, yelping. As Jorg approaches the building explodes once more in a massive ball of fire.
Jorg falls to his knees and cries out in anguish as he watches the fire rage before him.
Jorg: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
YOU ARE READING
Kinder Cosmic: Part 2 - Paradise Lost
Science FictionThe grey aliens known as Alpha and Jorg have settled into their home away from home upon our Earth; tucked away in an MIT laboratory. As they regail one another with stories of the many Earthly activities in which they've participated in order to p...
