JASH

Chapter 40

                           Ashley

Jason was in pain. And the fact that he was in pain made my heart twist. I felt bad even though i shouldn't feel anything.
Sometimes Jason was so caring about me and sometimes he just hated me.
He looked down at me and wasn't even afraid of me.
And then after sometime he was worried sick about me and was calling doctors and lecturing me about how i should take care of myself.
Then he was touching me and even my romantically dumb ass could see that what we had was different and that he desired me and that we were about to kiss at multiple occasions.
And then he had a girlfriend.

A girlfriend whom he never mentioned. A girlfriend he didn't care much about while he was touching me.

I told him alot about me just so he could understand. I told him alot of things that i didnt even tell James when we first became friends.
It took my friends years to get those things out of me and to share it with them but i had just told him like poof.

I didn't want him to think that i was a coldblooded killer. I wanted him to see that i didn't raise a hand on innocents and all i wanted was to help those who couldn't help themselves.
I wanted him to know that my terrible past brought me here and i was a rogue killer but that i fought for a cause.

Why did i care about what he thought.
Well that, dear friends, is a mystery.

Why did i open up to him? Why did I let him touch me? Why did i want him more? Why did his deep, musical voice and innocent yet beautiful face made sparks flow through me?

So many questions and i had no answers. I was just ughhh BLANK.

It was frustrating.

I felt so bad when he had to hold a gun and kill all those men to save himself.
I felt terrible because i caused it all to happen.
I couldn't sleep easily at nights but after meeting Jason i couldn't sleep at all.
I kept Anna and Mylie away from all this and constantly lied to them. Just to keep them safe.
And they were my friends since school so it was natural to care about them.
But Jason was just no one. Nothing special yet so special and i cared for him more then i should have.

I wanted him to smile and i wanted him to sing.
I wanted him to be happy. No i wanted him to be happy with me by his side even though i wasnt the one who should be by his side.

And the day he held that gun a part of me died in pain.
And when i saw him hurt and bloodied while dangling from the balcony i wanted to kill myself.

It was painful to see him like that and pain wasn't new to me.

But today when i fought and i saw that he fought in a trained way i was surprised.
But then maybe he got some training at the gym where he got those greek god like muscles.

He had a stone hard body and the muscles were perfectly craved and as shameful as it sounded i repeatedly punched him just so i could feel his abs.

Yeah i know thats weird.

But then i realized that Jason had a fighting pattern.
He was a good fighter.
A really good one and the way he moved and punched and blocked it was evident that he had got some high level training which was very suspicious.

Jason was taught all of this at some point in the past. His movements showed lack of practice. But still i could feel that he knew how to fight and not fight in just any normal way he knew how to fight in a mafian way.
The slow yet steady reflexes, the controlled way he threw punches and the absolute feral way he retaliated.
It all showed one thing.
The one who taught him was a good mafian fighter and that he was teaching him to become the same.