the zombie next door

Wait

*TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE*

i didn't go to school the next day. which was odd for me. i took extra time getting ready. my mom wasn't home and wouldn't be for awhile. there was nothing to do but wait. i waited till everyone from Zed's house had left and went and placed my letter in his mailbox. i came home and cleaned the house for my mom. i placed her letter neatly on her pillow. i walked into the bathroom and gathered my supplies. 

i opened the bottle of pills and sallowed nearly half. there was nothing i could do now. so i sat and waited. the feeling, the anxiety of waiting was almost too much. suddenly my eyes grew heavy and i slept. i slept for what felt like hours. i only awoke to a crash coming from the living room. i could hear wood split and fall to the ground. there were primal noises echoing through the house. it sounded like Zed. my head was too heavy to move. my body glued to my mattress. all i could do was wait. 

heavy footsteps grew closer to my room. i could tell it was still daylight outside. i felt breathing on my face followed with tears dripping down. an arm was under me sitting me up right. i could tell he was yelling. sobbing uncontrollably. he shook me with all his might. gathering enough strength to move my arm i slowly brought it to his face and grazed his cheek. a tear rolled down my face curving at my lips. that's all the emotion i could muster. all of the sudden it was like someone lit my throat on fire. bile rose up my esophagus and onto the ground right next to Zed. he embraced me in a tight hug patting my back. 

the words slowly came into focus. "Zeo please, please be ok". the only word i could mutter was "wait'. he sat and said "i will". i was in and out for the next couple of hours. each time my eyes creaked open i could see Zed in the same place he'd been. each time i awoke i could tell my strength was coming back. i should've known better it would take more than some over the counter pain pills to kill an already dead zombie. 

when i fully woke up Zed was staring at me. he had cleaned up my mess and was doing exactly what i asked of him. waiting. i started to open my mouth when he told me to stop. "save your energy, i'll be back with a glass of water". sure enough he brought me water. i slowly nursed the cup. i sat up looking at him clearly for the first time in weeks. his eyes were darker and his cheeks stained with tears. i wanted to say so many things but the only word that came out was "why". i didn't even know what i was asking. why did you leave me? why did you humiliate me? why was i not enough? there were so many possibilities. how did i expect him to know how to answer. 

"Zeo, i- i'm so sorry"

"for?" i asked meekly 

"everything" he stated with a crack in his voice 

"you just expect me to forgive you?" i asked 

"no" he whispered "i got your letter, i wrote you one too before all of this happened." he looked down at me from where he was standing. "i'll leave it here for you." he placed it on my vanity. then he proceeded to head for the door. 

"wait!" i yelled 

he turned and looked back at me. i started crying harder than i have all week. he turned away and walked out of the gapping hole i now had for a front door. i wanted to run after him but i didn't the strength. so i was forced to watch him leave.