"well you guys it took a while but here we are" i say
all seven of us are standing in the applebees parking lot and the getaway golf cart is right in front of us. this means dave and ian are inside of applebees.
"what are we gonna do when we see them??" theodore asks
"we're gonna take sausage and run. well, i am. you guys are gonna break into applebees and perform your superbowl set and choreo"
"but we've forgotten that" alvin says
"YOU PRACTICED IT FOR MONTHS HOW DID YOU FORGET"
"well we did just take a spontaneous trip to california" simon explains
"ok fine whghatever just do something to get everyones attention so i can find dave and ian!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
we go into applebees and ask for a table. the chipmunks go into the dining area and start doing a kickline. eleanor isnt wearing underwear so she flashes everyone but a bunch of old men start throwing dollar bills so i think they seem to be enjoying it. while the chipmunks get jiggy with it i search the floor. finally, in the back of the restaurant i find them........................................................................................................DAVE AND IAN!
....but NO SAUSAGE!!
i storm up to the table "where is my baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"how did you find us??" dave screams. he is eating a mozerella stick and drinking ians piss. gross. i thought they kept that stuff in the bathroom.
"i told you the california plan wouldn't work..........." ian sighs
"so this was your plan the whole time???"
"yes we knew you guys would come here so we told the manager to tell you we went to california idk how you guys got back here so fast"
"milo murphy said that you guys were in california he's the president"
"you dumb bitch we hired him"
"he still gave you away tho"
"oh"
"SO WHERE IS MY BABY???????????????"
dave smirks "youll never find her"
i run away in tears and find eleanor full on stripping while the rest of the chipmunks are party rocking in the house 2nite.
"eleanor, put your fucking clothes back on" i hiss "guys we have to find sausage i think that shes hidden somewhere in the restaurent"
"but where could she be if she isnt with ian and dave?" alvin asks
theodore jumps up and down "THE MEAT BACKROOMS!!!!"
we all gasp and make a beeline for the back of the store. there amidst the meat buckets i see my precious little sausage wrapped up in a pink blanket. "wow you guys i cant belive we found her"
"not for long" says a voice. we all turn around and dave and ian are standing right there blocking the exit. "you guys are never escaping with the baby"
"oh yes she is" suddenly a man that looks exactly like dave emerges. everyone gasps.
"TWIN BROTHER DARREL WHERE DID YOU COME FROM???" dave says
"ive been watching you guys all this time. milo murphy told me everything." darrel says. "you guys need to leave y/n and the chipmunks alone and give her the baby or im gonna tell mom"
"fine"
dave hands over the baby and i sigh with releif.
"thanks darrel"
"my name is actually dave but the other dave made me change it so it wouldnt be too confusing"
"oh well thanks anyway"
"whatever" evil dave scoffs. "ian and i are going to wahlburgers because thats where we're getting married. we already convinced the manager of applebees to give us another baby so have fun with sausage."
"ok dave have fun drinking ians piss"
the two walk away and i cuddle baby sausage. i am so glad i have her back. the chipmunks and i head back to the apartment and i make a big batch of tuna noodle casserole.
YOU ARE READING
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