i was having a very peaceful afternoon. i was reading the bee movie script and enjoying some nice leftover jello pudding while i heard the chipmunks practice their superbowl mashup but then they all stopped and came out to me in the living room.
"hi guys" i assumed they wanted the jello pudding "whats wrong??"
"we dont know where dave is" simon said "he said he was gonna help us with our choreo but he seems to have vanished from the house and his car isnt here"
"oh"
"we should search around town for him!" alvin svcreamed
"i actually dont want to do that-"
"COMON GANG!" alvin said "LETS GO!!!"
i sighed because whatever the chipmunks say go. we walked in town and simon suggested going in daves fave store - applebees
"dave loves the pasta primavera" theodore says. i notice brittnay trying to take my credit card out of my back jean pokcte bc i can feel her stupid chipmunk hand on my ass but i let her bc i dont feel like yelling today. instead i decide to go into the mens bathroom of applebees and right there i find two sets of feet underneath one of the stalls.
i recognize daves air jordans - but who is the other pair of feet???
"dave???" i ask "are you in there"
"w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-hat??? babe i-i-is that you??"
"yes its y/n"
i notice the other pair of feet hop up on the toilet seat but i pretend not to. dave doesnt open the door and instead shimmies undernath the stall. i hope that feces and germs get all over his shirt. he wears the same shirt everyday, except for when we went on our honeymoon. his shirt is blue and it smells like glue sticks. i want him to take it off and not in a hot way.
"sowwy babe 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😭😭😭😭😭😭😭" dave says "i pwomise i was just in the bawthrowwm"
"whatecver" i say
we walk out and the chipmunsk scream in joy. brittanys entire head is buried in a cheesecake but applesbees doesnt sell cheesecake so i know she went next door and bought an entire $30 cheesecake from the cheesecake factory
"DAVE!!!" they say. the applebees owner thinks we are famous alumni so he gives us free apples and we are very grateful. we walk out and i notice a golf cart outside. ian is in the golf cart and i cant help but notice he has a small vial filled with a yellow liquid tied around his neck. i try not to think about it too much and drive home with dave and the chipmunks.
as dave and i eat dinner that night, i cant help but wonder if something is fishy.
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