The Bad Boys' Soft Boys' Lonely Hearts Club - The Full Package

The Alpharatus Bad Boy Is A Bitcoin Millionaire?!

"Hey reff, what the literall fuck? Is friendly fire allowed?" I yell at the dragnpa, who is tugging his beard all wisely and crap.

The dragnpa nods solemnly as the crowd goes wild around us. I can see a catgirl wasted out of her mind flashing me four pairs of tits. Is this a redneck woodsy thing? Is it magic NASCAR? It feels like a magic redneck thing. "All is fair in love and war, child!" says the dragpa with a puff of smoke.

"Ah, backstabbing your team-mates is okay with you, but killing a dude in self defense is not? What's the difference?"

"That's completely different!" yells the old dragonoid. "And if you have to ask, I'm afraid you're far gone off the deep end."

"What happened with all that 'all is fair in love and war' crap? You kill dudes in wars all the time."

The crowd boos me. Even the catgirl puts her shirt back on.

"That wasn't war, you mongrel," says the dragonoid with coldness in his words, contrasted by the fiery of his breath.

"Oh, yeah. A battle royale to the death ain't a place for killing people. Gotcha."

"It's just a name!" says the old dragon. "You don't go to a hospital's burn ward and light people on fire."

"You don't know my hobbies!"

Author's note: Ayden does not advocate for the torture of burn victims, nor does he think any other violation of the Geneva Conventions is a valid justification of self defense.

Hey, speak for yourself, you weird author's note. I would totally violate Geneva Convention Art. 24 if I had the chance. I'm a firm believer in Ezekiel 25:17.

Before I can argue my point any further, a ball flies just past my face, smashing on the ground behind me and leaving a burnt crater. The ball bounces right back like a gummy boomerang to the hands of a lanky bitch.

"Glazzballs on me, my droogie," says Jayden, twirling the ball in his hands. "It would be a shame if our dance ended so quickly"

"Bitch, I ain't dancing with no Slenderman-looking creep with a yee-yee ass haircut and suspenders," I yell.

His witty retort comes from a new ball shot right to my head, which I dodge at the last second.

"Okay, maybe a quick waltz," I retort.

The ball bounces back towards Jayden, who picks it up while fufufu-ing. "Ah, my droogie, I don't take kindly to rejection. Don't worry, this will be over quickly. Trevor, if you will..."

Trevor the Man-bitch raises his staff/cane and chants a quick spell. 「Bounce times 4」

The ball glows with an ominous sheen, almost like a dark rainbow. Jayden tosses the ball my way, but I dodge it by rolling out of the way.

However, the ball doesn't bounce back towards Jayden, but flies towards my face yet again. I scoot left at the last second, but it bounces towards hy head next. It grazes my hair, and some loose hairs come flying out, but I manage to cut it close. The ball then bounces back towards Jayden. Every swerve of the ball is accompanied by gasps and cheers from the crowd.

"Horrorshow job, my droog. You're a real Baryshnikov. The starry Ludwig Van would surely make a tune in your honor!" says Jayden, sneering at me.

"I'm gonna pull your balls through your mouth," I say.

Trevor the Gingerbitch steps up, smashing the cane down. "You will not speak to Lord Jayden like that, you mongrel!" The tip of his cane glows with a red light, surrounded by dark shadows. Somehow, I don't think anybody would bat an eye if they blast me into next week.