Save Me - Joel Hokka | Blind Channel

Chapter 8: I decided to hate him

Content information: This chapter again contains a lot of backstory which is again written in italics.

The next morning my alarm clock woke me up after having slept only three or four hours which was by far not enough since I usually needed around eight or nine hours of sleep to somehow be able to function and think properly. Teija and I had called until way after midnight, probably around 2 or 3 am to talk about Joel, what had happened with him and also how I should continue with him.

Together, we decided that not seeing him again was definitely my way to go. I shouldn't only ignore him and tell him to leave if he should ever show up again but I also decided to throw away the coaster with his note and also phone number written on it. The earlier and the more I forgot about him, the less I'd suffer from the flashbacks I had and the happier I could be again.

Well, at least that was the theory. Because in real life, I obviously couldn't forget about him that easily; Joel was a popular man and since Teija and I both liked the music his band made a lot, I would eventually be confronted by their music and therefore also by him. But I wouldn't see him in person again; I for sure would do my best to prevent that from happening.

After getting up, the first thing I did was thanking Teija for her support. We were best friends and of course best friends were always there for each other but I still felt the urge to thank her since for me, it wasn't natural that you'd stay up half of the night just because your best friend is in trouble with some one-night-stand.

"Hey, thanks again for last night. Calling you really helped me, not only for your advice but also because talking about it seemed to help a lot. So, thanks for being there for me <3", I quickly typed in before I made my way into the bathroom. Before going to work I definitely should take a shower because I didn't want my colleagues to stay away from me because I stank.

Although we lived in Finland, this summer was quite hot and no matter what I did, I sweated a lot during the night. Those warm summer days were definitely not the kind of weather I enjoyed the most. Many people are relieved when finally the temperature rises and you could go outside wearing shorts and a t-shirt but I for sure wasn't one of them. Temperatures above 25° celsius were too much for me to handle so if possible, I spent those days only in my apartment.

However, today I had to leave my cold room to go to work, which is exactly what I did after having some porridge for breakfast. On my way there, I received a message from Teija who had apparently just gotten up, at least I thought so. "You're welcome, Marlene. You know I always help you, whenever you need some advice. Are you now on your way to work or have you already entered that hell of a building?"

"Currently on my way there. What about you? Getting ready to meet with your friends?" It was a Friday, the day Teija always met with a group of mostly female friends she had gotten to know at a youth club years ago. Although they were by far not teenagers anymore, they still managed to meet once a week which had always been fascinating to me.

"Nope, already met them. We're having a picnic as breakfast in a park. I hope your day won't be too exhausting. CU soon" "I hope so, too, but knowing the work and my boss, it probably won't be. Especially not now before the weekend. Picnicking in the park sounds great! Have fun!"

"Hey, be careful!" I stumbled to the right as I was suddenly passed by a biker who almost hit me because there was only such a bit of distance between his handlebar and me. Oops, apparently I was only paying attention to my phone and not to where I was walking. "Sorry", I quickly apologized before I - of course after making sure there was no biker anymore - focused on responding to Teija and sending my message.

A few seconds later, she answered my message. "Yeah, it's kinda relaxing. But honestly, I miss those frozen winter days we'd spent inside when they were singing together. It always created such an amazing mood..." Oh yes, Teija had already told me a lot about those times. It truly sounded great, singing together with some other people who had a similar taste in music. Apparently they often jammed to Linkin Park songs together. That must create such a feeling of community, I thought and with this, my mood worsened even more. Having to work apparently wasn't enough for today, no, I also was reminded of the only time I could experience something like this myself.