Save Me - Joel Hokka | Blind Channel

Chapter 21: I might have an idea

"So... About the job...", Joel started the topic a few days later when we were having breakfast together. "You said you don't have good school qualifications so people wouldn't employ you. Is there any hobby you have where you don't need an employer? Like art, writing or whatever?" "I like taking photos and I've even tried to make it a business years ago but somehow, no one wanted to have me as their photographer. I love to take photos of people in action, you know, at a wedding or whatever. But apart from Teija and her wife, no one ever wanted me to do that so I failed terribly. We can forget that. I need someone to employ me, otherwise I won't have a fixed income."

"I see... That's a complicated situation", Joel mumbled. "Can you show me some photos you have taken?" "Yeah, I have some of the ones I took during Teija's wedding on my phone and the regular ones I took are on my Instagram." "You have Instagram? I didn't fi...", he asked but stopped himself from continuing. "You didn't find me on Instagram?", I slightly grinned and looked at him. "Yeah, maybe I tried to find you there after our first night. Sorry." "Hey, it's fine", I said while grabbing his hand. "Back then, I haven't even told you yet that I didn't want to see you again. And as you now know, you couldn't have found me anyway."

"So, what's your IG?", Joel asked and took his phone out of his jeans pocket while still holding my hand. "It's 'tiger dot photography'", I told him while looking for the photos of Teija and Maila on my phone. "Oh, of course I couldn't find you. It doesn't include your name. May I ask why you used tiger and not Marlene as your name?", he carefully asked. "It's because of Aava... After blocking her on every platform, I wanted to make sure she wouldn't find my new profiles so I stopped using my real name on the internet. I always used 'tiger'. On every platform, my name is connected to tiger. I didn't want to use a wrong name and after Teija told me that my mental strength was as big as a tiger's strength, I started calling myself tiger."

"I like that idea... And I can understand that very well. I mean, that you didn't want to use your real name anymore. Teija was definitely right. You might not see it yourself but you are fucking strong. You got out of that situation, after months of harming yourself, you managed to find other ways to let out bad feelings without any therapist. I don't know any other person who was strong enough to do that on their own." While saying that, Joel placed his phone on the table in his kitchen and looked me in the eyes. "You are strong. You didn't give up and now you decided to fight against the feelings Aava caused you. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here right now. I'm proud of you, so fucking proud."

"Thank you...", I whispered. "Come here", Joel smiled at me and patted his lap. Without hesitating, I got up, walked around the table and sat down on Joel's lap. As he wrapped his arms around me, I leaned against him and closed my eyes. "I'm so happy to be with you...", I mumbled quietly. "I am, too. And now show me your photos, okay? If they are as good as I think they'll be, I might have an idea..." "Okay..." I was a bit confused because I had no idea what his idea was.

"Here", I said as I showed him the pictures on my phone. "Okay, first of all, they are a pretty couple. Almost as cute as we are." We both giggled after his words and I turned around to place a kiss on his nose. "I didn't know you'd be so cheesy", I chuckled quietly. "That only happens when I have strong feelings", Joel said a bit more seriously before coming back to the original topic. "The photos are really good. I mean, I can't say a lot about the quality because I'm seeing them only on the little screen of your phone. But it looks like you always caught the right moments. They are smiling and laughing or looking at each other in the most loving way in all of the photos but it doesn't look staged. You really did a good job! I mean, most likely you didn't constantly have a camera in your hand as the best friend of one of the brides and yet they have such great photos as a memory of that day..."

"Thank you." I slightly blushed when he complimented me. I wasn't used to hearing such big compliments. My boss only criticised me, I wasn't in touch with my parents anymore and Teija and I only met rarely and there wasn't really anything she could compliment me for either. "Is it okay if I look at the photos on your Instagram on my laptop? I can see more when I use that instead of our small phones." "Yeah, of course. Why shouldn't it?" "Because someone needs to get up for that and get the laptop", Joel chuckled. "Okay, I'll get it. Is it on the coffee table?" "Yes, it should be there."