Save Me - Joel Hokka | Blind Channel

Chapter 9: You're incredibly strong

Content information: This chapter is again almost entirely backstory which is again written in italics. Possibly triggering topics such as bullying and its effect on on one's mental health are mentioned but not described in detail.

The four of us spent the whole evening together, watching Doctor Who, getting to know each other and laughing a lot. It was so fun that after that evening, I already loved to spend my time with these three people so much that I wasn't mad at Jamari for joining my roommates at all anymore. In fact, I was so happy that I got to know him due to this because we connected so well. We had exactly the same dark humor and also some similar interests. He also liked drawing - although he unfortunately didn't really have time for that - and we also shared some bands that we liked.

What I didn't know that evening though was that our group should grow even more the next day. The others had the idea to join the people who formed a choir as a freetime activity. I hated to sing and I was truly bad at it but since I knew that Taina and Jamari could sing pretty well, I agreed on that. There was another girl, two years younger than us. Helena had a very high, yet incredibly beautiful singing voice. Her singing Flashlight was probably even more emotional than Jamari singing Do you hear the people sing, although that was probably also because of the songs' moods.

Since Helena also knew Jamari and Vana because they were in the same interest group, the five of us went back to our room together. After getting to know Helena a bit better, we started watching Doctor Who again, although Helena was only thirteen. But to be honest, when talking to her, one could also think she was already fifteen years old or even older.

From that day, we spent our whole free time together. I didn't even read the messages in the walking group anymore because I knew I wouldn't join them anymore anyway. I just felt way too comfortable with Taina, Vana, Jamari and Helena. With them, I could really be who I wanted to be. I laughed as much as I hadn't laughed for months before and I could open up so much that they also got to know the crazy Marlene that was hidden deep inside of me. For example when Jamari and I once again had fun wrestling with each other.

I still remembered how he had been convinced he'd win the first fight and when he didn't and we made fun of him - of course not in a mean way - he said he couldn't have guessed that I was so incredibly strong. Since people had always made fun of me and when I'd told them I was stronger than they thought, they used to laugh about me, I laughingly asked Jamari to write that down and sign it so I had evidence and people would finally believe me. Unfortunately, he always refused although he hardly ever won one of our wrestling duells.

But wrestling was by far not the most crazy idea we had. I always followed rules but at that camp, there was one rule we all didn't like: We had to be in our room at 10pm. Of course, three of us shared a room, we could also have fun after that but Helena and Jamari had their rooms somewhere else. Helena's room was luckily at least in the same house, just a bit further down the hallway. But Jamari's? It was in another house and to get there, one had to follow a small path through the forest and pass a bridge. Therefore, our idea that they could just stay longer and quietly leave when they wanted to, didn't work out: In the main entrance of every building sat two people in charge until late at night to make sure no-one would leave or enter the building.

But well, we had our own ideas. Our window was visible from the entrance of our house but since Helena's room - that she luckily didn't have to share with anyone - was at the end of the hallway, the window was facing towards the backyard. Thus, we used to quietly make our way to Helena's room and climb out of her window. Me and my roommates then walked over to the building that included Jamari's room which he could luckily enter through a backdoor near a lake.