LDA #10: When The Last Petal Falls

EPILOGUE

Petals fall
Flowers wither
Love accepts
What cannot be changed
Love forgives
All of yesterday's mistakes
Love sets free
A heart that's been guilty
Petals fall
And feelings fade
But love will remain
Faithful and kind, despite the pain.

~~

Epilogue

My Dearest Astrid,

First of all, I know you probably you don't want to see me today. But I want to tell you how much I miss you. The last few days without you felt like hell.

Let me start by saying, I'm sorry. You're right. I'm a coward. I'm a coward for denying how I truly felt for you. I thought I was doing you a favor, but no. I'm missing my chance to experience ‘love’ once again. I'm sorry if I pushed you away. I'm sorry if I couldn't fight for us. I'm sorry for choosing to stay in the past, rather than enjoy a wonderful present with you. I'm sorry for feeling guilty over the things I had no control with. I'm sorry, if it was too late for me to realize that I'm so afraid of losing you too. It was your words that have woken me up. Seeing you leave was all it took for me to finally let go of the past and chase a new future— a new future with you.

I'm not so good at telling how I feel, and I get really nervous when you're around, so I'm writing this instead. I want you to know that I love you. I never thought I'm capable of loving someone again, until you came and proved me wrong. That moment when our eyes first met, my heart started beating like crazy. It was all too familiar to me— the crazy heartbeats, the electricity and how I couldn't stop myself from staring at you. I distanced myself because I knew it wouldn't be fair to you. But no matter how I try to avoid you, I just can't stop myself from coming to you.

I knew you were special, but I was too afraid to risk getting hurt, and hurting you in return. So, I chose to be a coward and pushed you away. But when I saw you leaving that day, I realized I can't let you go— not anymore.

I have so many things to tell you, but words will never be enough. I need an eternity to tell you everything my heart wants to say. You probably won't believe me, so I got a back up plan in case you'd think this confession was garbage. I plan to court you for a lifetime just to prove to you that I am in love with you.

Today, I faced all my fears— I decided to let my past go, so I can finally love you freely, without a doubt and with all my heart.

And when I see you again today, I'm hoping to kiss all the pain, I gave you, away.

Always loving you,

Noah

My tears fell uncontrollably. Too late— why is it always too late for people to realize someone's importance?

I stood in front of the grave of my first love. He was buried next to her.

It has been a year, but the pain still won't go away, it lingered in my heart. Now I know how it is to be on Noah's shoes— to lose someone you loved so dearly. Dumating na ako sa puntong kahit ang Diyos ay tinanong ko. Bakit niya binigay si Noah sa akin, kung babawiin lang din pala niya? Then I was reminded that everything has a purpose. Maybe I was meant to meet him, so I could help him to set his heart free and to let him realize that he can love again. And that it's not wrong to fall in love again. And maybe, to show me that we cannot always have what we desire. That His plans will always be greater than ours, and we have to trust in Him alone.